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- Getaway driver Miles Foster is placed in witness protection after the murder of his friend Andres by Astin Brody, a shady underworld boss. Miles is hidden on the Greek Island of Zanthi with a recently graduated female MI6 officer, Charlotte Green. Shalom Godsall, Brody's disgruntled number two, has recommended two Irish assassins take out Miles, much to their surprise as a father and son assassin team they h ave a terrible track record. Godsall, however, is working with American secret service to oust his rival Astin Brody and take the top job. Nothing is going to plan; the assassins have found their target and are getting close. Miles and Charlotte are not getting on at all and the special relationship between the British and American secret service is at breaking point.
- Catherine St.John-Burke is an independent, uptight, status obsessed, sophisticated, British woman, living alone in London's Chelsea, and doing herself no favors by having an affair with a married man. Her world is turned upside down when she comes home one day to discover an uneducated, Kiwi woman (with very hairy legs) drinking beer in her living room. Shirley Zachary claims to be Catherine's long lost half-sister and that their father, who Catherine thought died when she was a child, is still alive and trying to make claims on both of their properties following the death of their mothers! Furious and frustrated with Shirley's refusal to 'disappear', Shirley reluctantly agrees to undertake a DNA test, and to Catherine's horror, the results concludes that they are indeed related. Both girls agree to work together and track down their 'con-man trapped in the 70s' father in order to get the rightful ownership of their inheritance. Of course, hiding from the local Mob, Jack is not an easy man to find but they begin by following a man called 'Sir Crawford' with hilarious consequences!
- A wizard, a mermaid, a witch, and their talking cat decide to intervene in the lives of people in a small Russian town, but their benevolent efforts go awry.
- Unwitting men from Uganda, Germany, Italy, the UK and Australia undergo identical romantic tests with the same Swedish girl. Which nation will win her heart?
- Returning to Reading after boyfriend Sasha has dumped him Simon recalls how, when he undertook to compile a family tree as a school project, he discovered that his parents never actually got married and the 'wedding photo' was a doctored version of Princess Diana's wedding shoot. The truth was that both parents inadvertently stood the other up but they decide they will finally make it legal and Simon has designed a bridal gown for his mother to put Princess Diana's to shame. After the wedding sister Ashlene announces that she too is an unmarried mother and Aunty Hayley accidentally gets into bed with the groom.
- In 1998 Simon and Kylie form a pop band called E-male and hunky music teacher Mr. Carr offers to manage them. To Simon's surprise, when his Dad invites taciturn new neighbour Ross Kemp to dinner, he brings his significant other, who happens to be Mr. Carr. The two men have a big bust-up but Mr.Carr still takes Simon and Kylie to Birmingham for the Eurovision Song Contest. The boys get locked in a toilet and are rescued by contest winner Dana International, with whom they also appear, by accident, on stage. Simon grabs a plume from Dana's costume and years later it's still on his Mum's hat, though when he meets Dana again in the street she is not keen to reacquaint herself with him.
- Simon recalls the gardening frenzy of 1998 when, inspired by television programme, 'Ground Force',everyone wanted a water feature, including him. To raise the money for one he and Kylie work as Saturday boys in Monsieur Antoine's boutique, where they excel, until Aunty Hayley comes in for a bra fitting, which ends up taking place in the shop window. Inspired by hunky Tiger, Reba's personal trainer, the boys make their own fitness video, which leads to friction between Reba and Ashlene and the creation, by default, of Simon's very own water feature. Still, he gets to duet with Elaine Paige.
- Simon ponders on his campness. Even as a baby he was singing show tunes. In 1998 the family is all set for its first holiday abroad. However, thanks to a poster campaign by Reba, annoyed when she thought Andy was making a pass at her, his business is halved and they cannot afford to go. Instead they tell everyone they are going abroad whilst creating their own holiday atmosphere indoors, eventually including Kylie, who rumbles them. When Reba's violent ex-husband turns up Kylie and his dog Madonna face up to and see him off, leading Simon to realise that 'campness' is seizing the moment.
- When Reading's own prize-winning conceptual artist Stacey Bile runs Andy over,Debbie socks her - before becoming her drinking buddy and her muse, going to London with her to set up her new installation. But when Stacey starts to exploit her Debbie takes revenge and steals her Turner Prize certificate. Meanwhile Aunty Hayley teaches the boys Indian dancing, dispenses phone advice to Dannii Minogue and demolishes the statue of Reading's other famous daughter, Kate Winslet.
- Bullied for being gay Simon decides to run away from Reading on the same night that Debbie is holding a party to celebrate her television acting debut in a crime reconstruction where she plays a woman missing from home, who is her exact double. However,thanks to a bus strike and the influence of the gorgeous Mickey - whom he will one day marry - Simon returns home in time to see Debbie punch Jackson, his chief tormentor, for impregnating Ashlene and picking on her son. Simon is so happy he falls off a wall and gets his gash, while the missing woman comes back to complain about Debbie's feeble impersonation of her.