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1-23 of 23
- Narrated by Patrick Watson, this one-hour documentary follows Canadian James George to India and Nepal during his final eight weeks as High Commissioner, as he tours projects in India, meets with Indira Gandhi and the King of Nepal, and tours Sri Lanka, where he had previously served five years as High Commissioner. We hear his thoughts, feelings and philosophy about diplomacy as both an art and a science.
- The inaugural (pilot) show introduces several major characters of the SCTV Network TV studio in Mellonville who would be the backbone of the series. These include Johnny LaRue, Earl Camembert, Floyd Robertson and Moe Green. Featured is a somewhat primitive wraparound concept dealing with Johnny LaRue. The Sunrise Semester Show would end up appearing in every season except the last. Segment 1: Commercial for Lasermatic Flash Camera Attachment Turns night into day Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Bookkeeping with Moe Green Tips on keeping books, and a bit of anti-capitalist ranting Segment 3: Promo: Unnecessary Surgeon / Malpractice Lawyer When little problems demand extreme solutions, it's Unnecessary Surgeon. And then, defending helpless doctors against greedy patients, it's Malpractice Lawyer. Back to Back! Segment 4: The Johnny LaRue Exercise Show LaRue crushes rumors about his being gay. Routines include the head roll, jogging on the spot, working out with the fridge door and eating a sandwich Segment 5: SCTV A.M. News Today: Big News / Little News Floyd has some big news items. Earl has some little local news items. Frustrated, he makes up a big item of his own. Segment 6: Commercial: Evelyn Woods Speed Talking School Don't waste time communicating Segment 7: Backstage Real life stories of the exciting people who make television. Johnny's ratings are down, his show is canceled, and his accountant Moe informs him he only has 14 cents. And, he can't get it up. Filled with self-loathing, he goes for help. Segment 8: Public Service Announcement: Stop Those Depressing Ads A plea to stop depressing ads Segment 9: Masterpiece Theatre: The Girls of Vienna Alistair Cook introduces this week's Freudian drama, by Ibsen: "The Girls of Vienna Part XII--Betty Freud." This is a drama about Sigmund Freud's wife, Betty. Her friend George is interrupted by Johnny LaRue looking for help. Johnny goes on a rampage. Segment 10: SCTV P.M. News: Big News / Little News continued Robertson interrupts Earl's item with news of Johnny LaRue's rampage, possibly the biggest disaster in entertainment history Segment 11: Words To Live By: Joni Newton Buffy We are all one.... and that sort of cosmic thing
- Segment 1: Promo: Monster chiller Horror Theatre: The House of Cats; Count Floyd shows Some clips from the three-dimensional semi-classic. Floyd is selling the 3D glasses for 27 bucks. Segment 2: Clip: Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Cats; Dr. Tongue transforms women into cats. (The 3D technique is not quite perfected at this point.) Segment 3: SCTV Sports Central: Desert Classic; Coverage of the Bob Hope Desert Classic begins with some background on Bob's golf career. Segment 4: Commercial: Delay; Have your headache when you want it. Segment 5: Betty Bain: Professional Juror; Betty takes jury duty seriously, sacrificing her family life. Segment 6: Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Naughty Chambermaids; Alistair's introduction is interrupted by a walk on by Bob Hope plugging his special. Segment 7: Bob Hope Desert Classic; Bob and Lou host this star-studded golfing event. Begin has a bad lie, and argues with Arafat. King Fahud shows Lola how to hold her putter. Charlton Heston helps Golda chip through a pipeline. Arafat occupies the 12th hole, while Begin takes the 13th fairway. Lou gets lost off the 18th hole.
- Segment 1: The Sammy Mauldin Show: Lorna Minelli, Trish Nutly joined already in progress. Lorna sings her mother's signature song. Bobby Bittman makes in impromptu appearance to plug his upcoming special. Sammy and Bobby trade compliments. Trish Nutly, a young new star, is Sammy's next guest...she's disgusted and tells them what a bunch of phonies they all are. Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Classical Greek with Alki Stereopolis The dialogue between Menelaus and Pericles. Segment 3: Commercial: Spray-On Socks No more droop around the ankles. Segment 4: The $211,000 Triangle Bobby Bittman screws it up for contestants. Segment 5: Cooking with LaRue: Cat Food Johnny has a great recipe for the under-employed Segment 6: Backstage Lorna auditions for a part that Trish already has nailed down. Segment 7: Crosswords Part 1 Alistair Cook introduces an obscure Pinter play. Segment 8: Promo: The Exorcist of Oz Lorna Minelli as Dorothy Segment 9: Crosswords Part 2 Crosswords continues. Segment 10: Commercial: Shakespeare's Greatest Jokes Including footnotes, so you can get the jokes you get. Segment 11: Words to Live By: Father Michael Meyer Father Meyer reads from the book of Caucasians.
- Segment 1: Station Announcement: Ethnic Disclaimer Harold insists that any racist jokes in the show do not reflact the management's views. Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Gypsy Mythology with Dr. Ernest Bruter Dr. Bruter describes how Gypsies were created. Segment 3: The Leutonian Hour The Leuronians do a dance. A fight breaks out with the Gypsies. Segment 4: Promo: Plainclothes Mountie Curtis tracks down criminals on horseback. Segment 5: Out Patient Three jocks are in for a vascetomy. Segment 6: Hints for Homemakers: Amish Food Money saving tips on feeding your family. Segment 7: Commercial: North American Stethoscopy Institute Segment 8: Theater North American Lin Ye Tang (a Canadian) introduces the great Canadian play, "We're Gonna Be Alright, You Creep, Leaving Home and All, Eh?" (Johnny's home from hockey camp, and the family sits down for dinner). Segment 9: Commercial: Golden Hits of the 11th Century With each album you order, a one year temporary indulgence. Segment 10: Words to Live By: Ernest Bruter Ernest casts doubt on the ten commandments.
- Segment 1: Yoga with Swami Banananda The Swami starts with stretching exercises for the legs Segment 2: Captain Combat Captain Combat's guest is Mr. Green Fatigues, who brings Mr. Schnauzer, who has stopped talking. They clean Mr. Schnauzer, accidentally killing Gunny Rabbit. Segment 3: Public Service Announcement: Fat Chance for the Sub Sahara Help out Arabs with stomach aches Segment 4: English for Beginners Perini frustrates her English teacher Segment 5: SCTV A.M. News Today: Wire Services on Strike They don't have much information Segment 6: Commercial: Stan Musial's Greatest Hits From that great infield single to the grand slam home run Segment 7: SCTV A.M. News Today Part 2: Gus Gustofferson Floyd interviews Gus Gustofferson, security guard, about the shooting death of puppeteer Lampeer. Apparently, he wasn't killed by a Schnauzer, but shot in the back with a revolver. Segment 8: Commercial: Sale of the Century A stirring pitch to sell England Segment 9: Gus Gustofferson: Security Guard Gus investigates the murder of puppeteer Knowlten Lampeer on the set of Captain Combat. He finds most of the staff, including himself, disliked the puppeteer Segment 10: SCTV Movie of the Week: Wara, Wara, Wara The story of the Allied advance into Italy. The Italians plan their surrender. The Americans talk about what they'll do after the war. The General reads a letter from his wife, who reminisces about their honeymoon in Italy before the war. Segment 11: SCTV P.M. News: Paper Shuffling Earl shows Floyd how to straighten his papers.
- Segment 1: SCTV Editorial: The New Season; Moe introduces the new season. Good news--their license is no longer suspended. Caballero phones: there's a problem, the writer hasn't finished the scripts. Segment 2: Ernest Kirsch, SCTV Writer; Caballero pesters Kirsch for the scripts. First on-camera appearance of Guy Caballero (ina wheelchair that has a phone). Segment 3: Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert; The beautiful, dynamic, multi-talented Lola in concert this Saturday. ("So Glad to Be Here," "You Light Up My Life") "I want to bear all your children!" Segment 4: Promo: Love Craft; A rich American divorced lady and her daughter take a cruise aboard the Love Craft. She may fly the Greek flag, but the comedy is international. ("You want special? Toast that kaiser!") Segment 5: Commercial: Water Spray from Pocketpic; Great new device for cleaning teeth. "Smile again." Segment 6: SCTV News: Informal chit-chat; Earl tries to lighten the newscast with chit-chat. Floyd has an item on mudslides in Togo and Tarzan accepting the help of mercenaries, and gets Earl to cut back on the chit-chat. Segment 7: Words to Live By with Rev. Ernest Kirsch; Kirsch tries to end the programming day a little early. Caballero calls him up and orders him back to his basement. Segment 8: The Incredible Bulk; At his psychiatrist's office, Bulk meets a woman he can relate to. Segment 9: Commercial: Moxwell House Decaffeinated Coffee; The stock boy has trouble stacking tins of juice. Segment 10: Feedback with Moe Green; Moe has a call-in show. He solicits feedback on the new season, and is forced to make some calls instead. Segment 11: Ernest Kirsch SCTV Writer, Part 2; Caballero pursues Kirsch to get those scripts. Caballero signs off.
- Kept young by an anti-aging serum, a group of almost machine-like human children believe they have been piloting the Ark since it left earth. Rachel tries to introduce the idea of 'playing' to them.
- Escaping from the savage descendants of the security crew, the three waken a technician from cryosleep to help them repair the ship and prevent the coming collision. But he is dying, and the wrong sort of specialist.
- Searching for a way to repair the Ark, Devon, Rachel and Garth arrive at the Omicron biosphere, which may have some ancient technical books. All the women died long ago, and Rachel is mistaken for the goddess the men worship.
- Ark craft Pisces has been searching for habitable planets for ten years - their time. On the Ark 409 years have passed, proving Einstein correct. But there are penalties to suffer for travelling that fast.
- Devon tours a huge spaceship, the ark, to discover who built it and where it's taking them. In Each episode Devon meets someone and finds out a little bit more about it.