Horrible Horror Remakes
by CalKersten | created - 11 Oct 2010 | updated - 11 Oct 2010 | PublicSome of them are so bad they're good, others are just plain bad. Either way, these are some of the horror remakes of the past decade.
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1. My Bloody Valentine (2009)
R | 101 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
Tom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine's night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one that believes he's innocent.
Director: Patrick Lussier | Stars: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsy Rue
Votes: 60,476 | Gross: $51.55M
So bad it's good. Sure, it's got the whole hokey twist ending, but with the gimmick-y gore, I couldn't help but hate myself for falling in love.
2. Halloween (2007)
R | 109 min | Horror
After being committed for 15 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.
Director: Rob Zombie | Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif
Votes: 130,620 | Gross: $58.27M
Remember when Michael Myers was just plain evil? Rob ZOmbie evidently doesn't as we're forced to sit through about 45 minutes of back story.
3. Halloween II (2009)
R | 105 min | Horror
Laurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael's deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.
Director: Rob Zombie | Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie
Votes: 59,816 | Gross: $33.39M
Mommy complex committed to film. Seriously, there's no other way for me to describe it.
4. Friday the 13th (2009)
R | 97 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
A group of young adults visit a boarded up campsite named Crystal Lake where they soon encounter the mysterious Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.
Director: Marcus Nispel | Stars: Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears, Danielle Panabaker
Votes: 116,960 | Gross: $65.00M
This one had some... "interesting" kills, but there's not a whole lot of substance and it just made me miss the original.
5. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
R | 95 min | Crime, Drama, Horror
The spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.
Director: Samuel Bayer | Stars: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner, Katie Cassidy
Votes: 107,530 | Gross: $63.08M
Weak acting has plagued plenty of horror flicks, but this one takes the cake. A complete waste of an otherwise epic villain.
6. The Ring (2002)
PG-13 | 115 min | Horror, Mystery
A journalist must investigate a mysterious videotape which seems to cause the death of anyone one week to the day after they view it.
Director: Gore Verbinski | Stars: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, Brian Cox, David Dorfman
Votes: 375,221 | Gross: $129.13M
The beginning of the J horror phenomenon and proof that Naomi Watts may be our last hope for a true scream queen.
7. Black Christmas (2006)
R | 95 min | Horror
On Christmas Eve, an escaped maniac returns to his childhood home, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one.
Director: Glen Morgan | Stars: Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Katie Cassidy
Votes: 30,646 | Gross: $16.24M
The subtlety of the original is lost in this remake, but it's got some good gore and a couple of quick references to the original, so it's worth a laugh.
8. The Grudge (2004)
PG-13 | 91 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
An American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.
Director: Takashi Shimizu | Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jason Behr, Clea DuVall, William Mapother
Votes: 150,906 | Gross: $110.36M
As a fan of Buffy, I couldn't help but watch, but it's definitely not a perfect movie. In fact, I haven't even really been able to bring myself to watch this since 2004.
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