You could not pay me to watch...
Obviously everything has its price. But no reasonable or affordable amount of money, i.e. between $10 and $20, could persuade me to sit through any of these.
One no: you need at least $100 to get me onboard
Two noes: $300 plus dinner
Three noes: in the $500 range, plus dinner at an establishment of my choosing
Four noes: $500 - $1000, and if it were worse than I thought it would be, dinner, plus breakfast and lunch the next day, and you have to help me exorcise the movie from my head
Five noes (or more): Totally not worth it. (Assuming you're even able to convince me with money, it would take a bare minimum of ten C notes to even get me to start watching. I would probably need generous persuasion to keep watching - we're talking hundreds here - and any favor I ask granted without question for a week. This includes paying for emotional therapy)
One no: you need at least $100 to get me onboard
Two noes: $300 plus dinner
Three noes: in the $500 range, plus dinner at an establishment of my choosing
Four noes: $500 - $1000, and if it were worse than I thought it would be, dinner, plus breakfast and lunch the next day, and you have to help me exorcise the movie from my head
Five noes (or more): Totally not worth it. (Assuming you're even able to convince me with money, it would take a bare minimum of ten C notes to even get me to start watching. I would probably need generous persuasion to keep watching - we're talking hundreds here - and any favor I ask granted without question for a week. This includes paying for emotional therapy)
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- CreatorDavid BenioffD.B. WeissStarsEmilia ClarkePeter DinklageKit HaringtonNine noble families fight for control over the lands of Westeros, while an ancient enemy returns after being dormant for millennia.NO NO NO NO NO [NO NO NO NO NO] (NO NO NO NO NO) NO NO NO NO NO
- CreatorFrank DarabontStarsAndrew LincolnNorman ReedusMelissa McBrideSheriff Deputy Rick Grimes wakes up from a coma to learn the world is in ruins and must lead a group of survivors to stay alive.NO NO NO NO NO [NO NO NO NO NO] (NO NO NO NO NO) NO NO NO NO NO
- CreatorKurt SutterStarsCharlie HunnamKatey SagalMark Boone JuniorA biker struggles to balance being a father and being involved in an outlaw motorcycle club.NO NO NO NO NO [NO NO NO NO NO] (NO NO NO NO NO) NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorNeil DruckmannBruce StraleyStarsTroy BakerAshley JohnsonHana HayesIn a hostile, post-pandemic world, Joel and Ellie, brought together by desperate circumstances, must rely on each other to survive a brutal journey across what remains of the United States.NO NO NO NO NO [NO NO NO NO NO] (NO NO NO NO NO) NO NO NO NO NO
Yes, technically, this is a video game, but it makes little difference. No amount of money could persuade me to play it, or willingly watch it being played. - DirectorDarren AronofskyStarsEllen BurstynJared LetoJennifer ConnellyThe drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island people are shattered when their addictions run deep..NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorClint EastwoodStarsHilary SwankClint EastwoodMorgan FreemanFrankie, an ill-tempered old coach, reluctantly agrees to train aspiring boxer Maggie. Impressed with her determination and talent, he helps her become the best and the two soon form a close bond.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorGabor CsupoStarsJosh HutchersonAnnaSophia RobbZooey DeschanelA preteen's life turns upside down when he befriends the new girl in school and they imagine a whole new fantasy world to escape reality.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorDavid FrankelStarsOwen WilsonJennifer AnistonEric DaneA family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.NO NO NO
- DirectorJohn HillcoatStarsViggo MortensenCharlize TheronKodi Smit-McPheeIn a dangerous post-apocalyptic world, an ailing father defends his son as they slowly travel to the sea.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJames WongStarsDevon SawaAli LarterKerr SmithAfter getting a premonition about a plane crash on his school trip, Alex, a student saves a few of his classmates. However, their situation gets complicated when death starts chasing them.NO NO NO
- DirectorDavid R. EllisStarsA.J. CookAli LarterTony ToddDeath is stalking Kimberly Corman and multiple survivors of a deadly highway accident.NO NO NO
- DirectorJames WongStarsMary Elizabeth WinsteadRyan MerrimanKris LemcheWendy Christensen and a group of teens who escaped a fatal roller-coaster crash face a bloody date with Death.NO NO NO
- DirectorDavid R. EllisStarsNick ZanoKrista AllenAndrew FiscellaA horrifying premonition saves a young man and his friends from death during a racetrack accident but terrible fates await them nonetheless.NO NO NO
- DirectorSteven QualeStarsNicholas D'AgostoEmma BellArlen EscarpetaDeath returns to claim the lucky survivors of a deadly bridge collapse in this fifth frightening installment in the series.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJames CameronStarsLeonardo DiCaprioKate WinsletBilly ZaneA seventeen-year-old aristocrat falls in love with a kind but poor artist aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.M.S. Titanic.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorBrian De PalmaStarsSissy SpacekPiper LaurieAmy IrvingCarrie White, a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother, unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorSean PennStarsEmile HirschVince VaughnCatherine KeenerAfter graduating from Emory University, top student and athlete Christopher McCandless abandons his possessions, gives his entire $24,000 savings account to charity and hitchhikes to Alaska to live in the wilderness. Along the way, Christopher encounters a series of characters that shape his life.NO NO
- DirectorFrank DarabontStarsThomas JaneMarcia Gay HardenLaurie HoldenA freak storm unleashes a species of bloodthirsty creatures on a small town, where a small band of citizens hole up in a supermarket and fight for their lives.NO NO NO
- DirectorMel GibsonStarsJim CaviezelMonica BellucciMaia MorgensternDepicts the final twelve hours in the life of Jesus of Nazareth, on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorTony KayeStarsEdward NortonEdward FurlongBeverly D'AngeloLiving a life marked by violence, neo-Nazi Derek finally goes to prison after killing two black youths. Upon his release, Derek vows to change; he hopes to prevent his brother, Danny, who idolizes Derek, from following in his footsteps.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorHoward ZieffStarsAnna ChlumskyMacaulay CulkinDan AykroydVada is obsessed with death. Her mother is dead, and her father runs a funeral parlor. When Vada's father hires Shelly, a makeup expert, and begins to fall in love, Vada is outraged and does everything in her power to split them up.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorBruce Joel RubinStarsMichael KeatonNicole KidmanBradley WhitfordA terminally ill man prepares for his death.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsRobin WilliamsEmbeth DavidtzSam NeillAn android endeavors to become human as he gradually acquires emotions.NO NO
- DirectorChris ColumbusStarsJulia RobertsSusan SarandonEd HarrisA terminally ill woman must deal with her ex-husband's new lover, who will be their children's stepmother.NO NO NO
- DirectorLars von TrierStarsKirsten DunstCharlotte GainsbourgKiefer SutherlandTwo sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide with Earth.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorNeil MarshallStarsShauna MacdonaldNatalie MendozaAlex ReidA caving expedition goes horribly wrong, as the explorers become trapped and ultimately pursued by a strange breed of predators.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorDavid FincherStarsMorgan FreemanBrad PittKevin SpaceyTwo detectives, a rookie and a veteran, hunt a serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his motives.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorPaul GreengrassStarsDavid Alan BascheOlivia ThirlbyLiza Colón-ZayasA real-time account of the events on United Flight 93, one of the planes hijacked on September 11th, 2001 that crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania when passengers foiled the terrorist plot.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorAng LeeStarsJake GyllenhaalHeath LedgerMichelle WilliamsEnnis and Jack are two shepherds who develop a sexual and emotional relationship. Their relationship becomes complicated when both of them get married to their respective girlfriends.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorAlexandre AjaStarsElisabeth ShueJerry O'ConnellRichard DreyfussAfter a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorWilliam WylerStarsMerle OberonLaurence OlivierDavid NivenA servant in the house of Wuthering Heights tells a traveler the unfortunate tale of lovers Cathy and Heathcliff.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJohn Erick DowdleStarsJennifer CarpenterSteve HarrisColumbus ShortA television reporter and her cameraman are trapped inside a building quarantined by the CDC, after the outbreak of a mysterious virus which turns humans into bloodthirsty killers.NO NO NO
- DirectorBryan BertinoStarsScott SpeedmanLiv TylerGemma WardA young couple staying in an isolated vacation home are terrorized by three unknown assailants.NO NO NO
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleBam MargeraChris PontiusJohnny Knoxville and his band of maniacs perform a variety of stunts and gross-out gags on the big screen for the first time.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OChris PontiusChris Pontius, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam Margera, and the whole crew return to the screen to raise the stakes higher than ever before.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJeff TremaineStarsJohnny KnoxvilleSteve-OBam MargeraJohnny Knoxville and company return for the third installment of their TV show spin-off, where dangerous stunts and explicit public displays rule.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorMark HermanStarsAsa ButterfieldDavid ThewlisRupert FriendThrough the innocent eyes of Bruno, the eight-year-old son of the commandant at a German concentration camp, a forbidden friendship with a Jewish boy on the other side of the camp fence has startling and unexpected consequences.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorAlfonso CuarónStarsMaribel VerdúGael García BernalDaniel Giménez CachoIn Mexico, two teenage boys and an older woman embark on a road trip and learn a thing or two about life and each other.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorAllen CoulterStarsRobert PattinsonEmilie de RavinCaitlyn RundA romantic drama centred on two new lovers: Tyler, whose parents have split in the wake of his brother's suicide, and Ally, who lives each day to the fullest since witnessing her mother's murder.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorCyrus NowrastehStarsShohreh AghdashlooJim CaviezelMozhan NavabiA story told by Zahra to a French journalist of her niece Soraya Manutchehri, a 35-year-old married woman, who received capital punishment and stoned to death because of false accusations in the remote village of Kuhpayeh, Iran, in 1986.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJohn GulagerStarsDanielle PanabakerVing RhamesDavid HasselhoffAfter the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorBernardo BertolucciStarsMichael PittLouis GarrelEva GreenA young American studying in Paris in 1968 strikes up a friendship with a French brother and sister. Set against the background of the '68 Paris student riots.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorNorman JewisonStarsTopolNorma CraneLeonard FreyIn pre-revolutionary Russia, a Jewish peasant with traditional values contends with marrying off three of his daughters with modern romantic ideals while growing anti-Semitic sentiment threatens his village.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorPeter HedgesStarsJennifer GarnerJoel EdgertonCJ AdamsA childless couple bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green is not all that he appears.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorLee DanielsStarsGabourey SidibeMo'NiquePaula PattonIn New York City's Harlem circa 1987, an overweight, abused, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes that she can re-route her life in a better direction.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorFrank DarabontStarsTom HanksMichael Clarke DuncanDavid MorseA tale set on death row, where gentle giant John Coffey possesses the mysterious power to heal people's ailments. When the lead guard, Paul Edgecombe, recognizes John's gift, he tries to help stave off the condemned man's execution.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorKen LoachStarsDavid BradleyBrian GloverFreddie FletcherA working-class English boy spends his free time caring for and training his pet kestrel.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorAlan J. PakulaStarsMeryl StreepKevin KlinePeter MacNicolSophie is the survivor of Nazi concentration camps, who has found a reason to live with Nathan, a sparkling if unsteady American Jew obsessed with the Holocaust.NO NO NO NO NO (NO NO NO NO NO)
- DirectorGregg ArakiStarsBrady CorbetJoseph Gordon-LevittElisabeth ShueTwo pre-adolescent boys both experienced a strange event and later it affects their lives in different ways. One becomes a reckless, sexually adventurous prostitute, while the other retreats into a reclusive fantasy of alien abduction.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorIsao TakahataStarsTsutomu TatsumiAyano ShiraishiAkemi YamaguchiA young boy and his little sister struggle to survive in Japan during World War II.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorMike FiggisStarsNicolas CageElisabeth ShueJulian SandsBen Sanderson, a Hollywood screenwriter who lost everything because of his alcoholism, arrives in Las Vegas to drink himself to death. There, he meets and forms an uneasy friendship and non-interference pact with prostitute Sera.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorMilos FormanStarsJack NicholsonLouise FletcherMichael BerrymanIn the Fall of 1963, a Korean War veteran and criminal pleads insanity and is admitted to a mental institution, where he rallies up the scared patients against the tyrannical nurse.NO NO NO
- DirectorVadim PerelmanStarsJennifer ConnellyBen KingsleyRon EldardAn abandoned wife is evicted from her house and starts a tragic conflict with her house's new owners.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorSam MendesStarsLeonardo DiCaprioKate WinsletChristopher FitzgeraldA young couple living in a Connecticut suburb during the mid-1950s struggle to come to terms with their personal problems while trying to raise their two children.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJimmy T. MurakamiStarsPeggy AshcroftJohn MillsRobin HoustonA naive elderly British rural couple survive the initial onslaught of a nuclear war.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorDavid LynchStarsAnthony HopkinsJohn HurtAnne BancroftA Victorian surgeon rescues a heavily disfigured man who is mistreated while scraping a living as a side-show freak. Behind his monstrous façade, there is revealed a person of kindness, intelligence and sophistication.NO NO NO
- DirectorLars von TrierStarsBjörkCatherine DeneuveDavid MorseAn Eastern European US immigrant with a love for musicals has to cope with the gradual loss of her vision.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsElizabeth BerkleyKyle MacLachlanGina GershonA mysterious young drifter who calls herself Nomi Malone hitches a ride to Las Vegas, Nevada, and begins working as a strip club dancer, and sets about clawing her way to the top of the Vegas showgirls.NO NO NO
- DirectorJudd ApatowStarsSteve CarellCatherine KeenerPaul RuddGoaded by his buddies, a nerdy guy who's never "done the deed" only finds the pressure mounting when he meets a single mother.NO NO
- DirectorLarry CharlesStarsSacha Baron CohenKen DavitianLuenellKazakh TV talking head Borat is dispatched to the United States to report on the greatest country in the world.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorGary RossStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to fight to the death.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorFrancis LawrenceStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark become targets of the Capitol after their victory in the 74th Hunger Games sparks a rebellion in the Districts of Panem.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorFrancis LawrenceStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss Everdeen is in District 13 after she shatters the games forever. Under the leadership of President Coin and the advice of her trusted friends, Katniss spreads her wings as she fights to save Peeta and a nation moved by her courage.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorFrancis LawrenceStarsJennifer LawrenceJosh HutchersonLiam HemsworthKatniss and a team of rebels from District 13 prepare for the final battle that will decide the fate of Panem.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorDanny BoyleStarsJames FrancoAmber TamblynKate MaraA mountain climber becomes trapped under a boulder while canyoneering alone near Moab, Utah and resorts to desperate measures in order to survive.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorEvan GoldbergSeth RogenStarsJames FrancoJonah HillSeth RogenSix Los Angeles celebrities are stuck in James Franco's house after a series of devastating events just destroyed the city. Inside, the group not only have to face the apocalypse, but themselves.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJames DeMonacoStarsEthan HawkeLena HeadeyMax BurkholderA wealthy family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legal.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJames DeMonacoStarsFrank GrilloCarmen EjogoZach GilfordThree groups of people intertwine and are left stranded in the streets on Purge Night, trying to survive the chaos and violence that occurs.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorRandal KleiserStarsBrooke ShieldsChristopher AtkinsLeo McKernIn the Victorian period, two children are shipwrecked on a tropical island in the South Pacific. With no adults to guide them, the two make a simple life together, unaware that sexual maturity will eventually intervene.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorNeill BlomkampStarsMatt DamonJodie FosterSharlto CopleyIn the year 2154, the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. A man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorGus Van SantStarsMatt DamonFrances McDormandJohn KrasinskiA salesman for a natural gas company experiences life-changing events after arriving in a small town, where his corporation wants to tap into the available resources.NO NO NO
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsMalcolm McDowellPatrick MageeMichael BatesIn the future, a sadistic gang leader is imprisoned and volunteers for a conduct-aversion experiment, but it doesn't go as planned.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorRoman PolanskiStarsAdrien BrodyThomas KretschmannFrank FinlayDuring WWII, acclaimed Polish musician Wladyslaw faces various struggles as he loses contact with his family. As the situation worsens, he hides in the ruins of Warsaw in order to survive.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorRobert AldrichStarsBette DavisJoan CrawfordVictor BuonoA former child star torments her paraplegic sister in their decaying Hollywood mansion.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorDarren AronofskyStarsRussell CroweJennifer ConnellyAnthony HopkinsNoah is chosen by God to undertake a momentous mission before an apocalyptic flood cleanses the world.NO NO NO NO NO
- CreatorAlan BallStarsAnna PaquinStephen MoyerSam TrammellTelepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse encounters a strange new supernatural world when she meets the mysterious Bill Compton, a southern Louisiana gentleman and vampire.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorSam Taylor-JohnsonStarsDakota JohnsonJamie DornanJennifer EhleLiterature student Anastasia Steele's life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorJoe WrightStarsKeira KnightleyJames McAvoyBrenda BlethynThirteen-year-old fledgling writer Briony Tallis irrevocably changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister's lover of a crime he did not commit.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorSam WoodStarsWilliam HoldenMartha ScottFay BainterChange comes slowly to a small New Hampshire town in the early 20th century.NO NO NO NO
- CreatorVince GilliganStarsBryan CranstonAaron PaulAnna GunnA chemistry teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine with a former student in order to secure his family's future.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorGarry MarshallStarsBette MidlerBarbara HersheyJohn HeardA privileged rich debutante and a cynical struggling entertainer share a turbulent, but strong childhood friendship over the years.NO NO NO
- DirectorPete DocterBob PetersonStarsEdward AsnerJordan NagaiJohn Ratzenberger78-year-old Carl Fredricksen travels to Paradise Falls in his house equipped with balloons, inadvertently taking a young stowaway.NO NO NO
- DirectorJoe WrightStarsKeira KnightleyJude LawAaron Taylor-JohnsonIn late-19th-century Russian high society, St. Petersburg aristocrat Anna Karenina enters into a life-changing affair with the dashing Count Alexei Vronsky.NO NO NO
- DirectorKimberly PeirceStarsChloë Grace MoretzJulianne MooreGabriella WildeA shy girl, outcast by her peers and sheltered by her religious mother, unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorLewis TeagueStarsDee WallaceDaniel Hugh KellyDanny PintauroCujo, a friendly St. Bernard, contracts rabies and conducts a reign of terror on a small American town.NO NO NO NO
- DirectorMimi LederStarsRobert DuvallTéa LeoniElijah WoodA comet is discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. As doomsday nears, the human race prepares for the worst.NO NO NO
- DirectorGregory WilsonStarsWilliam AthertonBlythe AuffarthBlanche BakerFollows the unspeakable torture and abuses committed on a teenage girl in the care of her aunt and the boys who witness and fail to report the crime.NO NO NO NO NO
- DirectorGaspar NoéStarsMonica BellucciVincent CasselAlbert DupontelEvents over the course of one traumatic night in Paris unfold in reverse-chronological order as the beautiful Alex is brutally raped and beaten by a stranger in an underpass tunnel.NO NO NO NO