My Top 15 Horror Remakes
There are some remakes we wish never existed (ahem, "Psycho"), but there are others that pass as gravely underrated or deservedly successful. These are the fright flick updates that fall into that category.
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- DirectorDavid CronenbergStarsJeff GoldblumGeena DavisJohn GetzA brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant man/fly hybrid after one of his experiments goes horribly wrong.David Cronenberg's take on the 1958 Vincent Price cheese-fest is entirely his own, and it tops the list as the best horror remake of all time due to its tremendous creep-out factor, flawless performances by Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis, a smart script that ties together a genuinely heartbreaking 'beauty and the beast' love story, and its ability to still make you squirm.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsKurt RussellWilford BrimleyKeith DavidA research team in Antarctica is hunted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of its victims.Another 50's hit gets a wonderfully scary and elaborate update by horror maestro John Carpenter thanks to a tremendous love for the original, timelessly awesome special effects, a great cast, and an increasingly skin-crawling sense of paranoia.
- DirectorPhilip KaufmanStarsDonald SutherlandBrooke AdamsJeff GoldblumWhen strange seeds drift to earth from space, mysterious pods begin to grow and invade San Francisco, replicating the city's residents one body at a time.Philip Kaufman's 1978 take on the 1956 sci-fi flick that paved the way for political controversy retains the social commentary of the original while indeed being way scarier than its inspiration. The screams that pour out of the pod people when they notice one they haven't taken yet are gut-wrenching, and the ending sticks with you long afterwards.
- DirectorFede AlvarezStarsJane LevyShiloh FernandezJessica LucasFive friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods.Newcomer Fede Alvarez, with support from the original 1981 classic's director, producer, and star, hits a home run with a dead-serious take on "The Evil Dead" that respects the original's existence while standing on its own two feet. The performances of Jane Levy and Lou Taylor Pucci are terrific, the jump scares are perfectly orchestrated, and by today's standards, it's easily gorier and as jaw-dropping as the original. Fans will love it.
- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJessica BielJonathan TuckerAndrew BryniarskiAfter picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding loon and his family of equally psychopathic killers.Kill me, but I like Michael Bay's horror productions, and Marcus Nispel's rendition of Tobe Hooper's 1974 freak-out manages to be equally as brutal and ruthless as the original, thanks to a likeable heroine in Jessica Biel, an intimidating new Leatherface, a real sense of dread and horror, and an unforgettable turn by R. Lee Ermey.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonMalcolm McDowellTyler ManeAfter being committed for 15 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.Rob Zombie's much-maligned take on Carpenter's masterpiece goes harshly underrated in my book. Tyler Mane's Michael Myers is easily the most intimidating in years, and the music is a nice tribute to Carpenter's work. But indeed, there's something good to be said about a horror director who makes the movie he wants to make despite audience expectations. If you don't like Zombie's other films, stay the hell away. But for those who can appreciate an awesome, entirely new take on a legendary movie, I say it doesn't get much better than this.
- DirectorDennis IliadisStarsGarret DillahuntMonica PotterTony GoldwynAfter kidnapping and brutally assaulting two young women, a gang unknowingly finds refuge at a vacation home belonging to the parents of one of the victims: a mother and father who devise an increasingly gruesome series of revenge tactics.Dennis Iliadis's "The Last House on the Left" is one of the best horror remakes in a long time in that it makes the most improvements. God love Wes Craven, but the 1972 original, as notorious as it is, is a truly bad movie. 2009's "Last House" is filled with tension and appropriately harsh violence to boot, not to mention that it's also accompanied by a nearly unbearable rape scene. It has the same social commentary of the original while sporting a fantastic cast, a subtle score by John Murphy, and cool kills. Despite some missed character development in Sadie and an inappropriate ending that feels misplaced, the rest of "The Last House on the Left" works to great effect.
- DirectorAlexandre AjaStarsTed LevineKathleen QuinlanDan ByrdA traveling family falls victim to a group of mutated cannibals in a desert far away from civilization.Another Craven staple in the genre works successfully in our current cinematic society. Alexandre Aja's "The Hills Have Eyes" is more intense, gory, and disturbing than the original, and the "survival of the fittest" aspect lifts it above the average slasher fare we commonly get nowadays.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsSarah PolleyVing RhamesMekhi PhiferA nurse, a policeman, a young married couple, a salesman and other survivors of a worldwide plague that is producing aggressive, flesh-eating zombies, take refuge in a mega Midwestern shopping mall.Zack Snyder's "Dawn of the Dead" trades the wry political commentary of George Romero's original for a blood-soaked rollercoaster ride of zombie thrills.
- DirectorMatt ReevesStarsKodi Smit-McPheeChloë Grace MoretzRichard JenkinsA bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian.Cutting out some unnecessary story elements from the original, Matt Reeves' adaptation of the Swedish vampire movie and John Ajvide Lindqvist's novel strays from our "Twilight"-obsessed world and creates a sad, moody love triangle for the story's two outcasts, one of them happening to be a vampire. The kills are harsh, the script is highly original, and the cast is perfect and sympathetic through and through. Kodi Smit-McPhee and Chloe Grace Moretz give seriously great performances.
- DirectorPatrick LussierStarsJensen AcklesJaime KingKerr SmithTom returns to his hometown on the tenth anniversary of the Valentine's night massacre that claimed the lives of 22 people. Instead of a homecoming, Tom finds himself suspected of committing the murders, and it seems like his old flame is the only one that believes he's innocent.A remake of the 1981 slasher, Patrick Lussier assembles a good cast and creates a fun, shamelessly gory blast of an homage that is remembered most for its hilarious sequence of full-frontal female nudity.
- DirectorChuck RussellStarsShawnee SmithKevin DillonDonovan Leitch Jr.A deadly entity from space crash-lands near a small town and begins consuming everyone in its path. Panic ensues as shady government scientists try to contain the horrific creature.Chuck Russell knows how cheesy the original "Blob" is and doesn't shy away from the cheesiness while also marking a spot in groovy 80's cult territory. This one deserves a look.
- DirectorBreck EisnerStarsRadha MitchellTimothy OlyphantDanielle PanabakerAfter a strange and insecure plane crash, an unusual toxic virus enters a quaint farming town. A young couple are quarantined, but they fight for survival along with help from a couple of people.Another Romero remake, Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell lead the cast in Breck Eisner's seriously frightening take on the virus movie that comes littered with disturbing political messages.
- DirectorJaume Collet-SerraStarsChad Michael MurrayParis HiltonElisha CuthbertA group of teens are unwittingly stranded near a strange wax museum and soon must fight to survive and keep from becoming the next exhibit.It stays very loosely to its inspiration, but "House of Wax" is one of the most imaginative forays into teen slasherdom I have seen in a while. Who doesn't get freaked out by the idea of being buried alive under a burning hot coat of wax? Elisha Cuthbert and Chad Michael Murray are very good, but if anyone's going to watch "House of Wax" for something other than its status as a remake, it's to see Paris Hilton get it. And on those terms, the movie pays off in spades.
- DirectorCraig GillespieStarsAnton YelchinColin FarrellDavid Tennant"Fright Night" - A new neighbor moves in next to Charley, who discovers that he is an ancient vampire who preys on the community. Can he save his neighborhood from the creature with the help of the famous "vampire killer", Peter Vincent?With loving direction by Craig Gillespie, a smart script by "Buffy" alum Marti Noxon, a great cast (especially Colin Farrell) and some entertaining kills, "Fright Night" matches the humorous vampire horror of the original and pays tremendous respect to it. Keep an eye out for an awesome cameo.