Top 75 Best Episodes of Married... With Children
These would be my picks for the best episodes of Married... With Children, respectively. They encompass most of the show's primary atmosphere and have a strong storyline attached to the plot. Also, each of these episodes has a nice connective plot point for a finely suited ending theme as opposed to the episodes that end rather random and without much meaning. These are also the funniest episodes for the actual writing, but that's besides the point. I also crafted a list of the episodes that weren't as good, but this list concentrates on those that were quite entertaining.
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- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.2 (802)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAfter Kelly gets in trouble at school, the only way she can get out of punishment if she joins the school's tap-dance club.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl discovers a library book that was due in 1957. He must return it to the library and face up to his worst childhood fear: the librarian.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl decides to open a shoe emergency hot-line with help from Steve in the form of a $50,000 loan. But typically, Al's get-rich-quick scheme backfires when nobody phones in. When Marcy gives Al a second $50,000 loan to repay the original loan, the Bundys and the Rhoades join together in a downward spiral of failure when Al instead sinks the second $50,000 into his failing shoe hot-line, which results in Steve losing his job at the bank, Marcy getting demoted, and Al ending up being the loser as always.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonNewly unemployed Steve decides he doesn't really want to work, so he fritters away his days with the Bundys, visiting zoos and taking fishing trips. The strain this puts on Steve's relationship with Marcy who ends up going out with Al to a local bar where they swap stories about their failing marriages. But the conversation between Al and Marcy reaches its peak when Marcy has to decide whether to use the $25,000 reward she earned by foiling a bank robbery, sustaining a gunshot wound in the process, to buy a new car or to bail out Steve, who has been arrested for "rescuing" Bosco the tortoise from the local zoo.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.9 (738)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl gets heated up over the large phone bill and refuses to pay it, which results in the disconnection of the Bundy phone line, making him the target of hostility from Peggy, the kids and the Rhoades who now take the Bundys phone calls on their phone, especially the ones from Peggy's mother. To make matters worse, there's a streetlight that is also bothering Al which is keeping him awake every night.
- DirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonThe Bundys' Christmas is rudely interrupted when a parachuting mall Santa crash-lands into their backyard, attracting the neighborhood kids.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonThe Bundy's go out to a fancy restaurant to spend a great windfall, an inheritance check for $237 from a late uncle of Peggy's. But it becomes apparent that the fine dining in public is not a part of the dysfunctional Bundy lifestyle, which makes matters worse when Al forgets to bring his wallet.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonSteve, Marcy, and the Bundys head out to Steve and Marcy's cabin in the woods, but the merriment is halted by Kelly's PMS. The men leave for a bit to go out fishing, and return to all three women menstruating and hostile. When a bear attacks the car, Al hilariously attempts to stop him.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.0 (827)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonWhile Steve is out of town for the week on business, Marcy starts having dreams involving a romance-minded Al which turns her dreams into nightmares, and turns off her sexual urges, prompting her to look into the source of her nightmares, while a clueless Steve asks Al for advice on Marcy's sudden lack of sexual needs.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonSteve returns home having grown a beard from a week-long rafting trip. He and Marcy get into a huge argument over his reluctance to shave it off, leading him to move in with the Bundys.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearsePeggy goes out dancing with Marcy, and becomes taken with a handsome man-about-town named Andy. At home, however, Al gets confronted by Andy's wife, Pete.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.1 (689)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is all excited when he's asked to speak at his high school reunion dance at Polk High. At the dance, while Al rambles on and on about the unhappily married man, Peggy finds herself being wooed by a teacher, Kelly trying to please two dates, and Bud plotting revenge against his date, Heather McCoy, who humiliated him years earlier by running his underwear up a flagpole.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseNow an aspiring model, Kelly invents a maneuver called "The Bundy Bounce" for her first audition as spokesperson for the new Allente car. But Bud's big mouth gives the idea to another model, so Kelly must take things into her own hands and remove the competition. Meanwhile, Peggy goes on a strike with housework because Al think's she's useless.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseSteve returns to try and reclaim his estranged wife unaware that she has remarried to a younger man.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.3 (701)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is haunted by a tune on the radio he can hum but not name, and he gets no help from Peggy or the D'Arcy's. Al similarly haunts Kelly's new boyfriend, Vinnie Verducci, the son of his fellow lowlife friend, Charlie Verducci, when Al warns Vinnie to only look and not touch, which is not easy for Vinnie.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen Al can't pay his bill at the gas station, he is forced to don a uniform, complete with 'Habib' name tag and work at the station. He spends the day being hounded by motorists, as well as Peg and the kids.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseIt's Bud's 18th birthday, but everyone still treats him like a little boy. Does he stay at home for his birthday party with a pony and a clown or does Al have something else in mind for his "adult" son?
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseBud's belief that his 40-year-old teacher is romantic interested in him is greeted by laughter from everyone. But another student smells the smoke and wants the fire for herself. Meanwhile, Peggy has a cold which prompts Al to keep his distance by going out every night to a Chuck-E-Cheese restaurant for some free pizza by crashing little kids birthdays parties. Can Bud keep two girls or will he suffer from a humiliating Bundy defeat?
- DirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseBud sends poor Kelly on a wild goose chase to find 'Waldo' so that he can have run of the house making out with a wayward blonde. Meanwhile, with nearly 1,000,000 miles on the family jalopy's clock, Al gets an incredible offer from the Dodge company for a brand-new Viper.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl wants to beat rival shoe-shop owner Babcock in something and puts his faith in Bud, who's in the same entrepreneurial-studies class at Trumaine as Babcock's son Little Floyd. Each boy must come up with a product and a marketing campaign for it Al sees that he'll get his revenge if Bud's project gets a better grade than Little Floyd's. When Kelly brings home a sexy-guys calendar, Bud decides to make a Girls of Trumaine calendar. All goes well, especially with stunning cover girl Crystal Clark--until, sounding very troubled, she has second thoughts about appearing in the calendar. Meanwhile, Peg is on the road searching for her dad to save her parents' marriage.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.8 (856)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonSteve and Marcy decide that once is enough after they volunteer to watch Kelly, Bud, and the family dog Buck, after Al and Peggy go away for the weekend to a seedy motel in Wisconsin where Al wants to watch a boxing match on the cable TV system.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl becomes the boss of the neighborhood after Kelly starts dating an influential city councilman.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl decides to grow a vegetable garden, but soon faces off against an all-out war with a rabbit who steals his carrots and other vegetables.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.9 (732)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl's attempts to get rid of a rodent in the Bundy house end badly.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseJefferson reveals his secret past to Marcy when he tells her that he is a ex-CIA spy in a witness relocation program. Meanwhile, Al gets conflicting emotions when he is offered a $50,000 reward by a certain Walter Traugott, a shady thug who is looking for Jefferson. Elsewhere, Peggy has a toothache from a broken tooth, and Kelly and Bud dress up as bums at the mall to acquire more cash for themselves.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.2 (531)TV EpisodeDirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseDuring the Christmas season, Griff becomes quite fond of a phone sex partner named "Butter," whom Al discovers is really Peg's mother.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.9 (584)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseKelly earns a quick $1,000 at hustling pool to buy a gown for the local Miss Cheese competition, and a suspicious Al is out for blood, mistakenly thinking that Kelly is into prostitution. Al is then out of blood when he sells his to get Kelly and manager Jefferson the money for a major pool game bet.
- DirectorBrian LevantStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl takes Steve one evening to watch a poker game with his poker playing friends. Steve gets the feel of the game and sits in for one of the men, but he ends up losing his paycheck to Al. From then on, Steve tries to avoid Marcy to avoid telling her the truth about losing their mortgage payment money while Al plans to use his $300 winnings to buy a new fishing rod.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAn invitation to join the high intelligence Alpha club, is issued to Kelly and not Bud. When they discover the real reason behind the gathering, Kelly and Bud decide to handle things with the usual Bundy charm (and violence). Meanwhile, Al buys a new "Handyman's Workbench 5000" that has some assembly required. This challenge requires the combined skills of Al and Jefferson while Peggy and Marcy watch and enjoy the show by taking pictures and counting the number of times the men injure themselves.
- DirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl is loath to have Buck the dog neutered despite being threatened with lawsuits from numerous neighbors regarding Buck's "nocturnal carnal activities" resulting in "stupid, ugly puppies" from their dogs. Reacting to pressure from Peggy and a bizarre dream he has involving Buck becoming upright and articulate, Al makes a decision.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseA rich hot babe from Al's past thinks Al is a disgusting pig. But she likes that in a man. So she offers to buy Al for half a million dollars.
- DirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonThere's a new light in the neighborhood when Bud brings home an attractive, free spirited, 21-year-old artist named Tiffany on her way to art school in New York and everyone likes her, except Marcy for Tiffany steals the attentions of Steve as well.
- 1987–199723mTV-147.9 (556)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseBud's cousin gets divorced after finding out that his wife did the deed with Bud just before their wedding. Or rather, he doesn't exactly know it was Bud, but he's determined to find out. As Bud waits for the hammer fist to fall he turns to Al, of all people, to discuss the morality of his actions.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseThe Bundys are going to a family wedding for Al's cousin. But Peggy can't decide what to wear, so while she dresses (and redresses) Al waits and daydreams. Meanwhile, Kelly color coordinates with two fellow bridesmaids, deciding that tight black leather is always best, and Bud gets to know the young bride to be much better than he should!
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen Peggy uses up the monthly mortgage to pay Seven's doctor bill, Al is forced to take a second job bar-tending at a topless bar, but its a male strip club where the bartender and all other men are topless. Al enjoys his job, but when Jefferson covers for Al for one day, he takes Al's job. Meanwhile, Peggy starts banning Kelly and Bud from the house to protect Seven from their germs.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAfter one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a new TV dating game show called "You Can't Miss" for the less experienced, but not quite with the expected results. Meanwhile, the low IQ Kelly believes that there's a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.
- DirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl hires Aaron, a recent Polk high school graduate, to work in his shoe store for the summer. Aaron sees Al as a hero and when he announces of his decision to marry, Al takes full advantage by giving the boy the benefit of wisdom not to ever marry and become like him and millions of other long-suffering married men: losers. Meanwhile, while working as the Verminator, Kelly accidentally gets a face-full of bug spray which causes her to start behaving very strangely.
- DirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseOn Halloween night, the Grim Reaper (in the form of a dark-haired, pasty-faced Peggy) finally answers Al's inadvertent long cried call for death and won't leave him until one of his family members say that they need him. Meanwhile, Marcy convinces Peggy, Bud, Kelly, and Jefferson to impersonate the Village People at a party she's hosting honoring female spouse murderers.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.9 (528)TV EpisodeDirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl rushes to finish fixing the basement step before his favorite movie, "Hondo," comes on TV. But, in an attempt to get some new batteries for his flashlight, he finds himself locked inside the store. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly attempt to celebrate Buck's birthday, much to Buck's dismay.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen Kelly auditions for a part in a Fox network sitcom she happens to mention some stories about her family which the producer likes better then the original script.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAfter Kelly's boyfriend dumps her, Al and the family treat her to the movies where each member has a different agenda.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl shows his new temp Dexter around the shoe store, while Bud and Kelly queues outside for a rock concert, and Peggy, aiming to win a trip to Tahiti, tries to get Al to make a fool of himself over the radio.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.9 (514)TV EpisodeDirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseOn Al's 45th birthday, Peggy decides to give him a sexy photo of herself to hang in the shoe store. But the photographer decides to hang a huge blowup version of it on a giant billboard in the mall outside the store. Naturally, this cannot be tolerated, so Al enlists the help of NO MA'AM's counterpart, Marcy's feminist group FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys), to destroy the offending image. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud can't seem to get the right gift for Al.
- DirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl bribes Kelly and Bud into posing as him and Jefferson to accompany Peg and Marcy at The Jeffersons Moving On Up Tour live, while they go to a newly opened sports bar.
- 1987–199723mTV-147.8 (540)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl battles other husbands at a store for last-minute Valentine's Day shoppers. Meanwhile, Bud gets physically and sexually abused when trying to find in a hotel his long-lost valentine girl, who is now a famous pop star.
- DirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseKelly is back as the Verminator, Bud is off to the frat house, and a run of good fortune convinces Al that the Bundy curse, dictating that every silver lining hides a thundercloud, is about to strike him down.
- DirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen Al and his friends get fed up with the women taking over their Giggly Room and their bowling night, thanks to both Jerry Springer and Marcy D'Arcy, they form a secret organization called No MA'AM and hold Springer hostage in his own show in an audience filled with men donning the No MA'AM shirts. They intend to perform television's first sexorcism, which includes them forcing him in watching hours of pro-wrestling. They'll also force him to wear a stinky, yellow undershirt and a pair of boxers with the words "It's All Me" until the women who took over their Giggly Room and their bowling night comply to their demands.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.7 (549)TV EpisodeDirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseThe other Bundys think Bud has flipped out when they overhear his basement conversion with his 'cool' alter-ego who arrives from another universe and shows Bud the tactics on picking up women. Meanwhile, Al has a personal battle of his own with a voice-over phone service to order a purchase for a new spare part for the Dodge.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseBud's community service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation, while he has to wrestle with temptation himself when he has to go to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie they both can watch together.
- DirectorKatherine GreenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseJefferson learns that the Barbie doll he bought for Marcy on her birthday at an auction is worth a small fortune of $50,000. So he asks Al a big favor: sleep next to Marcy for the night while he goes out to exchange dolls. In return, Al gets to keep a prized first edition of the magazine "Big 'Uns" that he bought at the auction with Jefferson's money.
- 1987–199722mTV-148.2 (551)TV EpisodeDirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseTo check out their husbands claim of "totally innocent fun," Peggy, Marcy, and their friends accompany their husbands Al, Jefferson, Charlie, Ike, and Bob Rooney to the Jiggly Room strip club. Afraid of the ladies responses, Al and the group take them on a Thursday night where it's A-cup night so the men won't get excited by the small breasted dancers. Everything goes well at first, until the unexpected arrival of a huge breasted stripper named "Rocky Mountains." Meanwhile, Kelly lands a part in a weight loss commercial and must drink various un-drinkable protein shakes.
- 1987–199723mTV-148.1 (504)TV EpisodeDirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseMarcy will not let Jefferson back in the house until he finds a job, so he hangs around at the Bundys. Bud gets Kelly a part in a Romantic Roast coffee commercial and when Kelly's co-star fails to perform up to expectations, Bud gets Jefferson the part. Jefferson's character Lance wins him legions of female fans which upsets Marcy but also ensures that two more commercials will be made with Kelly and Jefferson. But how will Al react when the script demands that Kelly and Jefferson kiss?
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.9 (538)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl buys a satellite dish from a discount store and he and Jefferson insist on installing it themselves. Bud is turned down for a loan at every bank in Chicago and borrows money from Vito, a mobster. He uses the money to finance an exercise video staring Kelly and a Latino hunk named Rafael. But, Kelly and Rafael get into a fight over who will star in the video, prompting them to storm off to their dressing rooms. Meanwhile, Bud learns that Vito is dangerous and needs the video completed on time.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.7 (517)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseVito's hatchet man, Gino, tells Bud that he has until 5:00pm to finish the exercise video or he will be sleeping with the fishes. Kelly and Rafael's continuing arguments over which one of them will star in the video has Bud sweating. But things take an unexpected turn when Bud unwittingly videotapes Gino talking to another mob associate incriminating evidence against Vito. Meanwhile, Peggy, Marcy, and their friends think that their husbands are totally useless as they count the number of times they fall off the roof trying to install the satellite dish. But Al, Jefferson, Griff, Officer Dan, Ike, and Bob Rooney have completed the dish and set up a comfortable safe haven for them on the roof.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG8.0 (751)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonMarcy loses her composure and her wedding ring when it slips into a dancer's briefs when she slips him a tip. Desperate to keep the news from Steve, Marcy sets out distracting him every chance she gets. However, Zorro the Stripper suddenly shows up at Al's house and returns Marcy's wedding ring to him, who gives it to Steve and tells him about where Marcy was the other night.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.8 (773)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonWhile Al and Steve are occupied by a female employee who fixes the Bundy's refrigerator, Peggy invites Marcy to a strip club with the girls.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl gets an owl costume to scare away the birds who keep him awake. To impress Amber, Bud helps Kelly to learn archery for her audition.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG8.2 (555)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl's Dodge mysteriously disappears during a family visit to a local car wash while on their way to Wanker county. Meanwhile, Marcy's ex-husband, Steve Rhoades, mysteriously reappears at the car wash to show her his new life while she is trying to get the lazy Jefferson to work there.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseKelly's new secret admirer turns out to be a wealthy, spoiled, immature 12-year-old boy named Robby Bennett, who blackmails her into accompanying him to his middle-school junior prom. Bud also crashes the prom disguised as a music DJ to taunt Kelly until she finally cries out for help, and Bud saves her by contacting Robby's father--who eyes Kelly too.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.6 (723)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl, Peggy, and Bud are part of a shopping mall softball team playing other mall teams. After losing a few too many games, Al demands that Peggy improve her softball skills or she is off his team. Meanwhile, Kelly's new boyfriend, Brian, asks her to prove her love to him by getting a tattoo.
- 1987–199730mTV-147.9 (532)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl and his friends from NO MA'AM who include Griff, Officer Dan, Ike, and Bob Rooney travel to Washington D.C. where thanks to Jefferson's pull, being a former CIA agent, Al and the group gets to address the U.S. Senate about Psycho Dad being put back on the air.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.7 (495)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearsePeggy gets invited to the Bingo Invitational Final. To their horror, Al and Jefferson hear that the new spokes-model for their official No Ma'am club beer, Girlie Girl Beer, is Yoko Ono. Therefore, No Ma'am must select a new official beer.
- DirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseBud has invited not-too-bright student Ariel to play the "Strip Study" game, to prepare for upcoming exams he has to pass in order to graduate. Despite years of not ending up getting some, Bud gets lucky but falls asleep and realizes that in order to be able to concentrate on studying, he has to give up everything that reminds him of sex. This proves to be quite difficult. In order to find a place where nothing turns him on, Bud goes to the library. Surely he can forget about sex there?
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhile Griff faces the death penalty due to a NO MA'AM prank, Al plans to get married to an old flame.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAn insurance agent is assigned to make sure Al is afraid to wear shoes to corroborate his lawsuit against the mall that claims he is afraid of shoes after being tied up by a burglar while at work. But Al must decide between the money from the settlement or winning a bowling championship when he's not allowed to bowl barefoot.
- DirectorTony SingletaryStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is thrilled when his childhood friend asks for his help in dealing with a young thug and his gang who have been harassing her at the inner city convenience store where she now works. But how does Al explain it to Peggy? Simply put: Al checks himself and Peggy into a local hotel near the rough neighborhood and sneaks out to confront the thug Ray-Ray and his gang, only to get beaten up by the youths again and again.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearsePeggy, jealous that Al is spending all his time at The Jiggly Room, decides to try out on amateur night while Al and the No Ma'am boys judge it. She wins the competition dressed as a harem girl named Jasmin, wearing a veil over her face. Al is turned on like never before, and he and Peggy have their best sex ever.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is planning a get-together for the guys and they'll be watching wrestling from cable. Al wants Peg to help, but she declines. Then Peg has an accident where she hits her head and gets amnesia. Kelly, Bud, and Al are then amazed to see Peg cooking, cleaning, and doing other housework. They decide to milk the situation for all it's worth.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseMarcy wants the Bundys to stay indoors because her "identical" cousin Mandy is coming for a visit and Marcy does not want her to be repulsed by them. Mandy's flight, however, is early and she takes a cab. Since the D'Arcys are at the airport waiting for her, she comes to the Bundys. This leads to Mandy spending the day out with Al and Jefferson. Suddenly Peg and Marcy find themselves jealous.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl makes Peg stop her constant shopping by taking his card away from her and electrifying the phone so that she cannot place any orders. Meanwhile, it's Jefferson's 40th birthday and he has to accept he is no longer a young man and Marcy may one day leave him; so, Marcy forces him to get a job, which he does, as the new aerobics instructor at a new health club Peggy wins a free membership pass for. Elsewhere, Gary hires Bud and Kelly to shoot a TV commercial for the shoe store. There is a role for a shoe salesman. Al forces Bud to hire him, but Al has no acting experience.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.6 (501)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearsePeggy wants to take a holiday in Branson, Missouri, but Al says he can't afford it. The prospect of all-fried food and only twin beds available, however, make him change his mind. Lucky has to stay behind in the care of the D'Arcy's. Then Marcy feels the urge to act out a dirty fantasy at the Bundy's. In Branson, the Bundy's get a room at the Deliverance Inn (yes, just like that movie). Peg and Kelly take part in a country music talent contest.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.4 (590)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseKelly's date ditches her, and on her walk home she meets two other women in the same situation and they hatch a revenge plot. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy spend a night in just conversing to find what they have in common.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.8 (505)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is kicking Peg and the kids out of the house so he can watch Death Wish 6 3-D in privacy on pay per view. But Bud also needs the house for himself: his pen pal, Starla, is getting out of prison and is coming to see him. Unfortunately, Starla decides to rob the Bundy's at gunpoint. It turns out that she has escaped and is on the run, so she ends up holding the Bundy's hostage. Starla also has a dim-witted boyfriend, to whom Kelly becomes attracted to, and the feeling is mutual. Then the D'Arcy's, who are about to leave on a charity masquerade cruise, barge in and end up hostages as well.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.7 (487)TV EpisodeDirectorMark K. SamuelsStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl agrees to let Peg invite the Darcy's and Griff (plus one) to an evening party in exchange for a month of no sex. As a party game, the pairs test their knowledge of the other half. Unfortunately, Al has forgotten the most romantic night between him and Peg, who throws him out to the doghouse, literally. Meanwhile, Kelly is auditioning for a role, but faces stiff competition from her nemesis Heather Talrico, another blonde bimbo. Kelly challenges Heather to a boxing match; the loser has to give up the role.
- DirectorRichard CorrellStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl sells his soul to the Devil so he can play for the Bears. However, the Devil takes him to Hell the day of the Super Bowl with a fate worse than death planned: an eternity with the family and the D'Arcys.