Bad Sequels
Let's face it, bad sequels are inevitably a part of the Hollywood dream machine, a business proposition meant to cash in on a built-in audience. Not to discount all sequels, because there have been some genuinely great ones to arrive that are either just as good or have even improved upon the original. For an example of consistently good sequels, just look at "The Godfather, Part II" or "The Dark Knight" to name a few.
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- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.I essentially consider this the Holy Grail of bad sequels. An awful multimillion dollar failure that left such a stink on the legacy of the Caped Crusader that if "Batman Forever" didn't destroy the onscreen incarnation of Batman, this film totally leveled it. Director Joel Schumacher and the studio's ignorance of the dark knight showed when Schumacher's first choice for Mr. Freeze was none other than Rocky himself: Sylvester Stallone (who's no stranger to making bad films) but Stallone wisely turned it down and Arnold Schwarzenegger took over the reins. According to Schumacher, the toy-happy movie studio wanted to overstuff this turkey as much as possible and did...and audiences proved to the studios that they were smarter than this 1997 dreck that virtually killed the film careers of Alicia Silverstone and Chris O'Donnell while Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman (in an incredibly camp performance) saw their careers holding onto lifelines for years. Multiple proposals for a rebooted version happened throughout the 8 years before Chris Nolan and company wisely started off fresh with "Batman Begins", a great take on Batman by making him a three dimensional character.
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsAl PacinoDiane KeatonAndy GarciaFollows Michael Corleone, now in his 60s, as he seeks to free his family from crime and find a suitable successor to his empire.Director Francis Ford Coppola later said that it was a mistake not casting Robert Duvall, one of the cornerstone stars of the "Godfather" series into this sequel. Apparently Duvall wanted more money and the studio, no stranger to throwing around money, didn't give it to him and Duvall said he was out. Instead Coppola cast George Hamilton in a very underwritten role and made the film lose one of its legs. If only more people told Coppola that would be the first mistake in a series of mistakes, starting with casting daughter Sofia as Michael's daughter. Sofia's performance was so savaged by critics, who took to it like scissors to ribbons and tossed the discards into a blender and hit liquify. Sofia later went onto becoming a critically acclaimed filmmaker over a decade later however. But the damage was done in a film that was so flawed, that it couldn't hold up a candle to the first two films.
- DirectorMike BigelowStarsRob SchneiderEddie GriffinJeroen KrabbéDeuce is tricked again into man-whoring by T.J., only in Amsterdam while other man-whores are being murdered in his midst.The only notable thing about this awful sequel is the much publicized feud it created between star/co-writer Rob Schneider and critic Patrick Goldstein. Goldstein hurled a vicious barb at Schenider over this film, deliberately insulting him as a third rate comic. Schneider, who is funny in his own right after his stint on SNL and this film's predecessor (which took a more restrained approach humor-wise). Schneider unwisely went after Goldstein and pointed out that he won no awards for being a third rate, unfunny pompous reporter. However, legendary critic Roger Ebert, definitely qualified, defended Goldstein, pointing out that Goldstein has actually won some awards and bluntly told Schneider that his movie sucked. He was right. While I like Schneider, this is a bad film: lazily written with jokes produced to the point of overkill and cartoonish slapstick that's just aggressively bad.
- DirectorTodd PhillipsStarsBradley CooperZach GalifianakisEd HelmsWhen one of their own is kidnapped by an angry gangster, the Wolf Pack must track down Mr. Chow, who has escaped from prison and is on the run.I liked the first two films, even if the first sequel was a blatant copy of the first one's formula. But this film, trying to deviate from the concept overall, is just bad. What's supposed to be funny is twisted as the filmmaking team have constructed a thriller masquerading as a black comedy. But here's the thing: there's no comedy. It's just the Wolf Pack bouncing from location to location to find one guy, with nearly zero laughs from start to finish. Clearly the cast wanted to get big paychecks and it shows here.
- DirectorBarry SonnenfeldStarsTommy Lee JonesWill SmithRip TornAgent J is sent to find Agent K and restore his memory after the re-appearance of a case from K's past.Wisely, the third MIB film did one thing that was quite smart: they eliminated certain characters in order to have a story that made better sense. I see sequels doing that more often because too many characters just take up too much story. Unfortunately the second MIB film didn't do that, instead reducing it to a borderline cartoonish affair as Agents J & K must stop an evil alien from trying to track down an alien princess...or something like that.
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsTobey MaguireKirsten DunstTopher GraceA strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge.Overcooked is the only way I can describe this poorly done third entry in the Spidey series. Too many characters and too little story had only made the film lose steam. Three villains for instance, only made it worse as one was invariably going to get left out in the cold story-wise (Sandman) while one actor was horrendously miscast (Topher Grace as Venom). Ultimately, this film did itself no favors in the process and only made you lose interest in the film. Whether it be the endless drama between Peter and Mary Jane or the tortured soul that was Harry to the barely there appearances of Sandman (Thomas Haden Church).
- DirectorBryan SingerStarsBrandon RouthKevin SpaceyKate BosworthSuperman returns to Earth after spending five years in space examining his homeworld Krypton. But he finds things have changed while he was gone, and he must once again prove himself important to the world.I still don't understand what this film was, and I don't know if it was a reboot or a quasi-sequel or what? But it's a lousy film made by a strong director (Bryan Singer of the X-Men films). Kevin Spacey is miscast as Lex Luthor, Kal Penn is a glorified baddie extra and Brandon Routh was just not the right guy to play the Man of Steel. Basically there's a lack of story and there's no focus on making a good film, just a really bad one.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsSandra BullockJason PatricWillem DafoeA computer hacker breaks into the computer system of the Seabourn Legend cruise liner and sets it speeding on a collision course into a gigantic oil tanker.Movieline Magazine identified Keanu Reeves dropping out of this film, as the number 1 smartest move in Hollywood at the time. They were right. This totally unnecessary sequel had Sandra Bullock cashing out for $11.5 million to reprise her role in an absurd plot where Bullock and her new police beau (Jason Patric) must deal with a psychotic terrorist (Willem Dafoe, easily in paycheck mode). Director Jan DeBont even came back to direct what would be a massive dud at the box office.
- DirectorMark NeveldineBrian TaylorStarsNicolas CageCiarán HindsIdris ElbaJohnny Blaze, tortured by the Ghost Rider's curse, gets a chance of redemption through protecting the Devil's son, whose father is pursuing him.Thankfully, everyone's favorite flaming skull has landed back at Marvel Studios, who have no immediate plans in the future to adapt him for film. But never say never. However, this film, which some critics said it even made the fairly bad 2007 predecessor look like "The Dark Knight" in comparison, singled this out as being particularly bad. Unfortunately the problem with superhero films, is that they can end up in the wrong hands of directors who are less about the character, and more about the look of a film. The filmmaking duo of Neveldine/Taylor show that in spades by applying stylistic flourishes to a sequel that just took away from Ghost Rider. Plus Nicolas Cage's trademark spastic style of acting is on full display here, and that only distracts more from it being Ghost Rider than Cage acting at his wackiest.
- DirectorPaul WeilandStarsBilly CrystalJack PalanceDaniel SternOne year after their first adventure, Mitch Robbins and his friends discover a treasure map that belonged to their late trail guide Curly and they set out to discover its secrets.This film can easily align itself as being one of the most unnecessary sequels ever. Billy Crystal's film career started cooling down and in need of a hit, he reprised his role alongside Daniel Stern (Bruno Kirby was smart to back out) and Jack Palance playing a twin brother of his initial character. But the film just falls flat on its face.
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsBruce WillisJai CourtneySebastian KochJohn McClane travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working undercover, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces.6 years is a long time between sequels and you'd think they'd be able to retain the spirit of the character and the films during that period. But this dry, humorless fifth installment knocks down the "Die Hard" series a couple pegs. It's just not a fun movie but a bland one with flat characters and Bruce Willis.
- DirectorJohn WooStarsTom CruiseDougray ScottThandiwe NewtonIMF agent Ethan Hunt is sent to Sydney to find and destroy a genetically modified disease called "Chimera".I'll say that the "Mission: Impossible" film series, might be improving with age, given that (in my opinion), the sequels improve over time. Part of that is because producer/star Tom Cruise teamed up with superstar producer J.J. Abrams to craft a more character-centered franchise. I didn't like the first M:I as I thought it was too complex for its own good and lacked genuine entertainment. But I think that film was a masterpiece compared to this dogs**t sequel, which stereotypes every action movie staple you can think of. It looks good but doesn't mean it is good. Director John Woo directed a flaming turd if you ask me and time and time again, I've had people tell me this movie was good, and I've told them that they were stupid. That's how I felt after paying the money to see this in theaters. It's that bad.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsJeff GoldblumJulianne MoorePete PostlethwaiteA research team is sent to the Jurassic Park Site B island to study the dinosaurs there, while an InGen team approaches with another agenda."Jurassic Park" will never stop as a film series, with another sequel in the works for next year. But earlier, Steven Spielberg looking back on the series, said his problem was he tried to make a bigger-is-better take with the sequel. But you can't do that with the cultural phenomenon that was "Jurassic Park", and it certainly shows here. Taking only the title of the book, this JP sequel deviates from its source material quickly and never recovers.
- DirectorFred SavageStarsCuba Gooding Jr.Lochlyn MunroRichard GantSeeking to offer his son the satisfying summer camp experience that eluded him as a child, the operator of a neighborhood day care center opens his own camp, only to face financial hardship and stiff competition from a rival camp.Eddie Murphy, no stranger to picking crappy family films, even rejected doing a sequel to an already critically-despised film. Cuba Gooding Jr., no stranger to making bad films, accepted the role in what I can only assume was to pay his mortgage. I won't even write about how awful this film was. It's just that bad.
- DirectorSteven SoderberghStarsGeorge ClooneyBrad PittJulia RobertsDaniel Ocean recruits one more team member so he can pull off three major European heists in this sequel to Ocean's Eleven (2001).Director Steven Soderbergh defended this film, saying that it was his favorite of the trilogy. I can't help but think that the only reason why he's defending this film, is because he might be the only person that liked it. Entertainment Weekly got it right by saying that this was a smug film drowning itself in inside jokes and expecting the audience to just follow it from place to place. But in the process, they took a story that gets buried under B.S. Thankfully the following sequel of "Ocean's Thirteen", undid some of the crap that came from this second installment in the series.
- DirectorTroy MillerStarsDerek RichardsonEric Christian OlsenEugene LevySet back in the 80s when Harry met Lloyd in high school where they cross paths with a mean principal and a bunch of other outcasts much like themselves.No Jim Carrey. No Jeff Daniels. No Farrelly Brothers. No good can come of this.
- DirectorRobert KlaneStarsAndrew McCarthyJonathan SilvermanTerry KiserLarry and Richard use a voodoo-revived corpse to track down hidden money to clear their names.Maybe it's me but don't corpses begin to smell pretty ripe after awhile? Maybe being dragged through hot sunny locations will do it no favors either. Also what about rigor mortis?
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsDan AykroydJohn GoodmanWalter LevineElwood must reunite the old band, with a few new members, and go on another "Mission from God."Name a movie with a year two years after it's actual theatrical release. Not to mention the absence of John Belushi and replace him with John Goodman. Nothing against the cast but a crap script and the absence of one of its great stars, will make this film get chased off the stage.
- DirectorAllan ArkushStarsJackie MasonRobert StackDyan CannonWhen a crass new-money tycoon's membership application is turned down at a snooty country club, he retaliates by buying the club and turning it into a tacky amusement park.Harold Ramis was hellbent on a sequel not happening, despite the insistence of the producers. But seeing as to how they would destroy "Caddyshack"'s legacy with a sequel anyway, Ramis decided to get involved as a co-writer with a story originally centered around Rodney Dangerfield's Al Czervik, the lovably obnoxious scene stealer from the first one. However Dangerfield asked about writing the script and was rejected by Ramis, an unwise move that ended up recasting the film with Jackie Mason in the lead role as a new character (a wise Dangerfield dropped out of the film). What follows is an obnoxious, wannabe family-friendly movie where all of the cast doesn't reprise their roles (save for Chevy Chase, whose character is a day player. Witnessing the film's editing, Chase was reported to have said to the director in disgust "Call me when you've dubbed the laugh-track").