My Little Least-Loved List
My list of why-were-they-made, and moreover why-did-i-watch-these movies.
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- DirectorKathryn BigelowStarsJamie Lee CurtisRon SilverClancy BrownA rookie in the police force must engage in a cat-and-mouse game with a pistol-wielding psychopath who becomes obsessed with her.My 1st, A #1, hands-down choice for Worst Movie Ever Made. Only thing going for this mess is a top-notch cast, totally wasted in an implausible, insufferable, hopelessly bad flick.
- DirectorSam WeismanStarsSteve MartinGoldie HawnJohn CleeseThe remake of the 1970 Neil Simon comedy follows the adventures of married couple Henry and Nancy Clark as they are vexed by misfortune while in New York City for a job interview.Whyyy do movie makers decide to mess with perfection? Stick to the classic 1970 version. Two great actors, Steve Martin, and Goldie Hawn, and some terrific comic relief by John Cleese, {that would have been better used, and a HOOT to BOOT, if added to the hilarious madness of "A Fish Called Wanda", proving just wrong here}, but it was NOT the Class Act that Jack Lemmon, and Sandy Dennis gave us. Far from it. Light years from it.
- DirectorRob MarshallStarsKathy BatesAlan CummingAudra McDonaldA little orphan girl catches the attention of a kind man named Mr. Warbucks, who wants to adopt her, but the cruel, strict orphanage owner has a scheme to keep Annie - and her reward money.I love Kathy Bates, and to her credit, {alone!}, she was terrific! However, the rest of it was just too much PC BS for me. Audra McDonald, whom I admire greatly, and watched grow up in community theatre back in Fresno, CA, gave a good performance, but it was completely implausible--{my worst pet peeve in any production; tv, or big screen}, and it just did not work.. It was like trying to make Show Boat, or The Little Rascals, or a Ma & Pa Kettle movie using completely proper English. ...just wrronng!
- DirectorPaul AaronStarsPatty DukeDiana MuldaurCharles SiebertDevoted teacher Anne Sullivan leads deaf and blind Helen Keller into the light of learnedness.The only, and I do mean ONLY, bright spot in this complete mistake, was Patty Duke finally getting to play Miss Annie Sullivan. Too bad she got roped into this stinker, a vehicle for Melissa Gilbert, {who owned the production}, to try and further her career past that of "child actor", only to show that, beyond her "Little House.." days, she was off to a bumpy start, pedaling uphill backwards. ~ To begin with, she was supposed to be a child, and towered over Duke! ~ I know, I know, Duke, herself, was much older than the 7ish year old Helen Keller she was playing. Fair enough. But she was a tiny little person, {still not her full 5'}, much smaller than the actors playing her parents, Victor Jory {6' 1 1/2"}, and Inga Swenson {5' 9 1/2"}, and then Anne Bancroft, {5' 8"}, as Annie Sullivan, so it worked! And in black and white, coupled with clever camera angles, and lighting, etc., it wasn't such an issue. In this mess, Gilbert, {at 5; 3"}, looked nothing less than the middle-teenager she was. ... Thus was only the beginning of a myriad of problems with this piece I can only call a bad idea all around. ~ Patty Duke's presence, and performance were, alas, the only factors that caused me to add another star to an otherwise 1* feature.
- DirectorVincent WardStarsRobin WilliamsCuba Gooding Jr.Annabella SciorraChris Nielsen dies in an accident, and enters Heaven. But when he discovers that his beloved wife Annie has killed herself out of grief over the loss, he embarks on an afterlife adventure to reunite with her.Whhhyyyyy?!?!?!?! ... A mucky, muddled mess! 'nuff said. -_-