Land Before Time
I watched this whole f'king franchise within the span of 2 weeks. It was an interesting experience that I would like to talk about.
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- DirectorDon BluthStarsPat HingleGabriel DamonHelen ShaverAn orphaned brontosaurus teams up with other young dinosaurs in order to reunite with their families in a valley.I decided to watch this on a whim. I was pretty sure that I hadn't seen it before and I'd never seen a Don Bluth movie, so it felt like a good choice. It's a pretty good movie. It's really short, though. The animation, tone, score and voice acting are all of high quality. It's a very heart-felt movie about teamwork and not giving up. I really like the color pallet of the movie, it gives the movie a very warm and endearing feel to it. I would recommend everyone watching it.
However, there's something else about this film that I need to bring up - something I find much more interesting than the film itself. So, I started watching it and I'm enjoying myself and all, but it felt slightly familiar for some reason. I didn't pay much attention to it and completed the film. I enjoyed it, wrote my review on Letterboxd and went on with my evening. But, I still had a strange feeling about it. A couple of hours later, while I was trying to sleep, everything started to come back to me.
I did in fact see this once when I was like 8 years old and had completely forgotten about it for several years. That's not all I'd forgotten, though. For a short while after seeing it as a kid I had a crush on Ducky. I've started to remember just thinking about her before going to sleep for a while and I think I made a cartoon of myself as a dinosaur meeting her and doing what 8 year-olds that crush on each other do - meaning, I don't remember shit about the actual plot of my cartoon, but I remember making it. I think she discovered me hatching out of an egg like she does with Spike in the film.
After remembering all of this I decided to watch the movie again and the nostalgia hit harder than it has for a really long time for me. - DirectorRoy Allen SmithStarsJohn IngleScott McAfeeCandace HutsonThis time, while building a hideaway in their new home of the Great Valley, Littlefoot and the gang rescue a mysterious egg from two scheming egg-nappers and make a starling surprise - and new friend - when the egg hatches.So after going through this experience I found out that there were 13 sequels and a TV-show in this franchise. Let's just say that I was curious. I felt like I had to check out at least the first sequel.
It's not nearly as good as the original. It's basically a generic children's cartoon. Where the original is subtle and has a very sombre tone, the sequel is flat and blatant. They sing songs as well, not a fan of that. I could've turned it off as soon as the whacky egg thieves showed up, but I kept watching it for some reason. Because of my experience with the first movie I think my brain wanted this to be of the same caliber. It's not and it's one of the most negative reactions I had to one of these movies. In hindsight though, it is one of the better ones in the franchise. But, we'll get to that. - DirectorRoy Allen SmithStarsScott McAfeeCandace HutsonHeather HoganWhen a sudden shortage of water threatens all life in the great valley, The gang of young dinosaur must cooperate with a group of bullies to make a risky journey outside the valley and find the cause.The day I watched the second one I went to a party which resulted in me being hungover the next day. So, I was hungover, had nothing to do, I didn't feel like doing anything productive and the weather was sh*tty. To cut to the chase, I watched 3 more sequels on this day.
Ain't nothing that special about this movie either. I mean, the plot is that water is tight in the Great Valley and the Triceratops dad - for reference: He's the father of Cera, one of the main characters, and his name is Daddy Tops. In fact, for future reference, the main characters are Littlefoot (an Apatosaurus), Cera (a Triceratops), Ducky (a Saurolophus), Petrie (a Pteranodon) and Spike (a Stegosaurus). Littlefoot is an orphan raised by his grandparents. Cera has her dad who's a huge racist bigot. Ducky is a happy-go-lucky tiny dinosaur who's adopted Spike into her family by this point, because she just found him in his egg in the middle of nowhere in the first film. Spike also appears to have brain damage, but he's got a heart of gold. Petrie has alot of siblings, a single mother and is very neurotic.
Alright, now that we got that out of the way, we can go back to the plot. So, water's tight and Littlefoot, not knowing about this issue, jumps into the local pond. Instead of saying "Hey, don't jump into the water, we have a limited amount left at the moment", Daddy Tops turns the valley into a concentration camp. There's a few stereotypical bully characters, they look like carnivorous dinosaurs, but I guess they're not. They're lame, they're tropes. Then the movie ends. - DirectorRoy Allen SmithStarsJohn IngleCandace HutsonHeather HoganWhen Littlefoot's grandfather falls ill, the only way to cure him is with a flower from the forbidding land of the mists, which holds unexpected perils and danger.I didn't plan for this to happen, by the way. It just sort of happened by itself.
This is one of the more boring ones. Not that much happens. The only interesting thing is how terrible the set up is. At the beginning of the movie, a passing herd of longneck dinosaurs enters the Great Valley to stay for a couple of days. With them they have a young female version of Littlefoot named Ally. The set up is clear here: This is going to be a character piece on Littlefoot on wheather he should stay in the Great Valley with all the different kinds of dinosaurs or if he should join this herd of his own kind, maybe develop a relationship with Ally and eventually have some kids. Also known as bro's before ho's and vice versa.
However, as soon as this group of dinosaurs enters, Littlefoot's grandfather becomes ill and the passing herd has nothing to do with the rest of the film. Instead, the kids have to go out and search for some sort of cancer healing flower to cure Grandpa Longneck with. Ally is just kind of there. Any functions she serves to the plot, Cera or Ducky could've easily done instead.
What else? Littlefoot spends alot of time trapped inside a cave. Tress MacNeille voices a villain crocodile and she uses the exact same voice that she uses for Agnes Skinner in The Simpsons. Charles Durning showed up for a paycheck, he voices a turtle... Ernest Borgnine was in a movie with a turtle once......
Yeah, whatever. Moving on. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleBrandon La CroixAria Noelle CurzonLittlefoot and his friends the gang in their next when a swarm of leaf gobblers had destroyed their homes and this forces them to find a new home but yet find an mysterious island.This was the final movie that I watched on my hangover day and it probably would've been the last if it weren't for the absurd ending.
The story goes, the valley is set upon by locust which eat all of the dinosaurs' food, causing them to having to find a new place for them to live. They all set out to look for this place and get lost which causes the adults to bicker, mainly because Daddy Tops is basically Alex Jones. The kids get sick of this and decide to wander off on their own in the middle of the night. So, they go to the beach and see a lush island with a walkway to it. They go there and the walkway gets destroyed by a storm on their way there and now they're trapped on this island. Now we clearly have two major conflicts that needs to be resolved before the end of the film: New place to live and weird island.
On this island they meet Chomper, who's a T-Rex child that they befriended in the second film. He's there with his parents and the scene when they speak to each other with subtitles made me realize that I think that I've also seen this movie as a kid at som point, because I recognized that immediately. Anyway, things happen and Littlefoot saves Chomper from a different carnivorous dinosaur which makes his parents approve of the kids.
Now, this is at the end of the movie. It's like 5 minutes left and they're still stuck on this island. How are they going to get back from there? Oh, they just catch a bus. I mean, if you've seen the movie you know it's not literally a bus, but it's the exact same idea. And the busdriver is like a pervert as well. Also, after that we cut back to the adults and the whole finding a new place to live plight has resolved off-screen and is only mentioned briefly by an offhand comment from Daddy Tops. And you're just like "Wtf just happened?" It goes from 0 to 100 in like a minute.
Could my view on this be because I watched it extremely tired after having already seen two previous Land Before Time movies hungover? Maybe, but I'm glad that I did. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsThomas DekkerKenneth MarsAnndi McAfeeGrandpa tells Littlefoot about their mythical hero called the Lone Dinosaur. Sarah gets two little lively cousins to take care of. Later, the kids accidentally chip the lucky Saurus Rock, and need to fix it before the bad luck hits.At this point, I realize that I have to watch everything, I'm in too deep to just stop now. Any sane person would stop, but I can't miss out on the possibility that the other movies will also have batsh*t insane moments.
So, Land Before Time 6: The Secret of Saurus Rock, does it rise to the occasion? Unfortunately, no. It's also one of the more boring ones. A lone ranger voiced by Kris Kristofferson collecting a paycheck wanders into the Great Valley. Littlefoot starts idolizing him right away, because he hears stories of another lone ranger fighting off several "sharpteeth" as the carnivores are called and after that, God forged a statue of him into the mountains and named it Saurus Rock. I'm not sure why this would happen, since the adults and the f'king kids have fought off several sharpteeth before, but hey, that's the movies for ya! Surprise, surprise, they fight off some sharpteeth at the end - The lone ranger and Grandpa Longneck.
My beef with this film is the following. It's set up that if you f'k with Saurus Rock you will send bad luck into the Great Valley, it's the entire plot of the movie. However, prior to this film the valley has been set upon by drought, locust, forest fires, sharpteeth, egg thieves etc. Like, Saurus Rock being messed with is kind of redundant, because bad things have been happening for years anyway and bad things will keep happening in the movies to follow. Are they implying that someone is always f'king around at Saurus Rock? Or did God f'k up and accidentally generate some fatal flaw in the design when he created the statue and just never bothered to fix it? So, until some dinosaur goes into the construction business and fixes it, bad sh*t will just keep happening. Thanks alot, God. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJeff BennettAnndi McAfeeThomas DekkerA mysterious object crashes near the great valley, and Petrie's untrustful uncle arrives in search of it, believing it to be "a storm of cold fire", a susposed rock of great powers.Next in line, the 7th movie in the franchise. I'm happy to say that this one is also a bit strange. Not to the extent of Mysterious Island, but it has its moments.
The main plot is that Petrie's uncle Pterano, voiced by Michael York who's shockingly not there just for a paycheck. I mean, he probably is, but he gives this role his all where every other big name before him just phones it in. Anyway, he comes in with his entourage "coincidentally" the same time as a meteor hits a mountain on the outskirts of the valley. They believe that meteor to possess a power that will enable them to control all the dinosaurs or something, I'm not sure how that would work. I think they expected to receive superpowers from it. We also get to find out what happened to all the adults during the time where we follow the kids in the first movie, which is a little neat. Evidently Pterano was a terrible leader back in the day and got a whole bunch of dinosaurs killed, but at the end of this movie he saves one of the kids' lives. He gets taken to court and both these aspects cancels each other out, so they exile him.
There's a far more interesting thing going on in this movie, though. We keep seeing these strange looking dinosaurs with rainbow beaks. They appear pretty shady as they follow the children around. At one point they attempt to launch the kids into space for seemingly no reason. At the end, we find out that they're f'king aliens. Littlefoot says like "Who the f'k are you people?" and the get him with the old "LOOK OVER THERE" and as he looks away they get zapped back up into their ufo. It's, once again, one of those "wtf just happened" moments slapped right onto the end and another reason for me to continue watching these films. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleAria Noelle CurzonRob PaulsenSnow falls in the Great Valley for the first time, puzzling and enchanting everyone. The friends search for Spike after he leaves to search for his family.The Big Freeze is slightly interesting because it's more of a character based movie than the rest of them. Ducky gets mad at Spike because he snores too much and eats her food. It becomes like a domestic plot, a kitchen sink realism type movie. Coincientally it's directed by Ken Loach. No seriously, it's more like a soap opera. At the same time as this happens, a herd of Stegosauruses visits the valley. Spike starts to play with another kid and his mom wants to adopt Spike into their family which causes Ducky to be both angry, sad and then at the end they track the herd down and Spike chooses to stay in the valley after all. It's pretty much what the 4th movie should've been like.
Another reason as to why I kind of like this one is because of the snowy climate. Not only because I like movies that take place during the winter, but also because it's a change of scenery. Everything looks the same otherwise beause every godd*mn movie takes place in the Great f'king Valley. It's very refreshing when the snow appears.
The kids appear to go to school in this movie as well and they have a pseudo-intellectual teacher. This is only a thing in this movie, no other ones after it. I guess that they're just cutting class after this? I mean, they're not getting older, so by deduction... It would be fun if all these small subplots from all the films continued in small doses throughout the franchise. The TV-show actually does this kind of, but we'll get to that.
Despite being a soap opera directed by Ken Loach, it still has the constant onslaught of pointless peril like the rest of the sequels. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleKenneth MarsMiriam FlynnLittlefoot befriends with a mysterious, fun-loving dolphin-like creature named Mo, who is trapped in "new water" caused by heavy rain. The gang then goes on an adventure to the "big water" to bring Mo home.Meh, not a fan of this one. It introduces a fish character that I find very annoying. Littlefoot acts like Gollum during the first act of the movie. Nobody wants to play with him, or they can't at the moment, so he starts talking to himself. They try to get the fish to his home and I don't know, something happens and then the movie ends. It's one of the most forgettable entries. I remember being so ready for the creepy busdriver to return at the end though, but she didn't.
The only notable thing about this movie is Littlefoot. The voice actor was 14 or 15 when they recorded this and he's pushing it. He does not sound like a kid anymore, he sounds like a teenager impersonating a kid. It's really jarring and it doesn't go away. It's the only interesting thing about the movie and I'm already done talking about it. Yeah, f'k this movie. Moving on. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleAlec MedlockKenneth MarsLittlefoot has been on many adventures before, but in this new edition to the Land Before Time series, the next adventure may change his life...forever.Now, this is where it's at. This movie is so f'king bizarre. I don't know if they made this one during an LSD trip or something. I'm just gonna go into it. Littlefoot starts having strange dreams. He tells his grandparents and they've been having the same dreams. Turns out that all the sauropods in the world have been having this dream and the longneck family are introduced to like a weird cult haning out in a crater. Here they meet Littlefoot's dad who's the leader of this cult. His name is Bron and the first time I heard it I could've sworn that he said LeBron. Bron is such a weird name for them to choose and this was made around the time when LeBron James started to become a household name, so I can only assume that Bron is short for LeBron. Anyway, Littlefoot asks him where he's been all his life and LeBron comes up with a half-*ssed excuse where he left the family to try and find a safer place for them to live and I'm just like "Yeah, right". You're dad's a player, Littlefoot. He also might run a child prostitution business or something because he's been rounding up a bunch of kids and one of them is called shorty which I associate with ho's. I don't know about you guys. Things kept coming at me during this film and my brain almost short circuited a couple of times.
Meanwhile the other kids decide to follow Littlefoot and they're being stalked by an old man. Cera or Ducky throws a melon on Petrie's head big enough to potentially break his neck. Ducky and Petrie bores an ambushing crocodile to death with geometry. Then when they reach Littlefoot they all have to fight a bunch of sharpteeth. However, the fight is interrupted by an eclipse which is what everyone has been dreaming about and all of the sauropods stand in a giant circle a watch the eclipse happen. Like, I'm not lying, this is on some season 3 of Twin Peaks sh*t. It seriously reminded me of the vortexes from there. I'm watching this and I'm just mindblown by that all of this is happening in the 10th installment of Land Before Time. There's also a legit attempt at cinematography in this movie.
I'm watching all of this and I'm thinking that this has to have been written by some weird artsy dude they brought in, but no. It's written by the same guy that wrote the majority of the sequels and it's directed by the guy that directed a whole bunch of the sequels before and after this. So, wtf happened during the creating of this movie? I'm not mad about it, because other than the first movie, this is definitely the best one, but I'm really curious and would love for anyone to tell me something about the production of this movie.
Now, I'm probably making alot of implications here and making it sound way more interesting than it is, but truth is that I plowed through 10 of these in under a week so my brain might've been developing a Stockholm Syndrome to this franchise. I doubt that you'll find this as enlightening as I did if you just watch this one and no others. - DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleAria Noelle CurzonJeff BennettLittlefoot and his friends return in another adventure. But this time, they aren't the smallest dinosaurs in the valley...anymore.So, after the insanity that is The Great Longneck Migration I was fully prepared for this movie to not at all rise up to the same level and I was right, it didn't. A group of tiny dinosaurs invade the valley and eats the grown ups' candy which causes them to go on a witch hunt for them, headed by Alex Jones who also gets laid in this movie. That's a mouthful, that sentence, but it's true. Not really that much of note in this one either. Michael Clarke Duncan voices one of the little people, which is funny I guess. Another fairly forgettable entry not worth talking about so let's just move on. This has been going on for far too long and I'm not close to being done yet.
- DirectorCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleNick PriceAria Noelle CurzonFun takes flight with prehistoric pals Littlefoot, Cera, Petrie, Spike and Ducky in this all-new soaring adventure.I didn't like this one.
The kids befriend a sleepwalking Woody Allen and he's the worst. He's doing the Woody Allen schtick very poorly and most of the movie is the kids trying to stop him from sleepwalking and from not walking off any cliffs. It goes on for sooo long, it's infuriating.
Meanwhile the message of the movie doesn't work within the context of the film. Petrie and his siblings are training for a flying show they're going to perform for the Great Valley inhabitants and he's struggling really hard to keep up with his siblings. Essentially, the message is that you shouldn't work hard just to fit in, instead you should just be yourself. This isn't a bad message to teach children. However, when you're doing a coordinated group performance you kinda have to be in sync with everyone else or else it defeats the whole purpose of doing a coordinated group performance. Some choreographer is probably tearing the feathers off his skin in anger. Thanks Woody Allen for teaching Petrie to go off script and turning the whole show into chaos.
This movie is way too long, it's one of the longer ones in the franchise and so much time is spent on nothing. - DirectorJamie MitchellCharles GrosvenorStarsJohn IngleCody ArensLogan ArensAfter an incident which nearly cost Littlefoot's grandmother her life, Littlefoot learns a series of lessons which his species call "Wisdoms". Meanwhile, a trio of dim-witted Beipiaosauruses named Loofah, Doofah and Foobie arrive in the Great Valley and behave in a strange manner towards Littlefoot and the gang. Littlefoot is determined that they learn the "Wisdoms" and the journey to the one place the trio have dreamed of, Berry Valley, begins.Number 13. Ugh, did I call the sleepwalking Woody Allen from the previous movie the worst? I take that back, I f'king hated the idiots in this movie. I know that Cera is supposed to have the dissenting opinion amongst the kids, but this is an example where I 100% agreed with her throughout the entire film and Littlefoot was the dumb*ss. I kept yelling at him to get away from these fucking weirdos. The kids had no obligation to make sure that they're alright. They've made it here somehow without your help so they'll probably be able to make it home as well. The antagonists are supposed to be the sharptooth with the goatee and his pals who might be art critics? They defeat them by singing very badly and the sharpteeth leave. But in actuality the antagonists are probably the idiots that they're helping because they keep getting the kids into danger.
They also spammed Ducky's catchphrase too much in this one.
This is by far the worst movie in the franchise and I hate it. The idiots are so annoying. I expected more from Cuba Gooding Jr. and Sandra Oh. It's also way too long. - CreatorFord RileyStarsAria Noelle CurzonCody ArensJeff BennettThe further adventures of Littlefoot and his friends learning about the world of dinosaurs.And now for something completely different.
I think it was wise to jump from making movies to making TV, because the last couple of movies felt like really stretched out TV episodes anyway. The show sees the return of alot of cannonical characters. You, of course, have the main 5 kids and their parents, but Chomper from the 2nd and 5th film is also a main character. We're introduced to a new main character called Ruby who's a really ugly Ornitholestes type dinosaur. I say introduced, but she's just kind of there in the first episode and we're already supposed to know all about her. I don't particularly like her. She's very ugly looking and she constantly blurts out the most random and obvious statements and comments ever. Several other characters from the films return for an episode every once in a while. I like that there aren't any end credits. The episodes just fades out and then cut to a picture of all the main characters while the intro music is playing. Maybe there were end credits when it aired on TV, but the official Youtube channel where I watched all the episodes did this.
Basically, you know what this is if you've seen any children's cartoon ever and if you like the franchise then you'll like this also. Honestly, I'd watch all of this again over watching some of the movies any day of the week. There's not much else to say about the series as a whole, so instead I'm just going to post a list of episodes with notably weird moments. The order of the episodes are different on imdb and the official Youtube channel, so just so there's no confusion I'll be referring to the order on the Youtube channel.
Episode 3: The Star Day Celebration
Has a really funny moment towards the end. It's Ruby's birthday and she's feeling sad for some reason, I don't remember why, so the gang decided to look for grapes to give her as a gift. They find a sympathetic Ankylosaurus that provides them with a whole life's supply of grapes that they all carry on their backs. However, when we cut back to them later they only give her like 3 grapes. Which implies that they kept the rest of the grapes for themselves, which I find hilarious.
Episode 5: The Brave Longneck Scheme
Ally, the longneck girl from the 4th movie, returns to the Great Valley with a new buddy and the gang spends the whole episode exposing him for being full of shit. And they come up with the most awful ideas ever.
Episode 7: The Great Log Running Game
Ducky starts a gym.
Episode 19: The Amazing Threehorn Girl
Cera narrowly avoids death by 2 crocodiles by sheer luck. However, everyone else thinks that she scared them off and holds her up like a magnificent hero. She tries to tell everyone that she didn't do anything heroic, but all the adults rudely interrupt her when she tries to explain this and she's pretty much peer-pressured by the adults into reluctantly giving into the lie and boasting on it. Then when she's caught all the adults sing a song about banishing her from the valley for lying. It was funny.
Episode 20: The Big Longneck Test
Sees the return of Littlefoot's dad LeBron and his weirdly vague backstory, who's one of my favorite characters and upon return he immediately ships Littlefoot off to boot camp.
Episode 23: March of the Sand Creepers
Contains a visual joke that got a genuine laugh out of me. A flock of crabs invade the Great Valley and are being mildly annoying to the adults. Ducky takes it upon herself to act kind of as a kindergarden teacher for them. After she sings a song about this we get a wide shot of her thinking she's leading all the crabs away from the adults, but the crabs go the other way instead. That made me laugh.
Episode 24: Search for the Sky Color Stones
Not particularly interesting, but they all search for jewels inside a cave and Ducky becomes like Kevin Garnett in Uncut Gems during the episodes which was odd.
Episode 26: The Great Egg Adventure
I guess that they had no idea that this was going to be the show finale because it's very anti-climactic. Half of the main characters aren't even in the episode. I had no idea it was the final episode until after it was over.
That's it. - DirectorDavis DoiStarsTony AmendolaFelix AvitiaIssac Ryan BrownAfter his father doesn't return from an important journey, Littlefoot and company set out to find him.We're finally here. The last film. I watched this right after I finished the TV-show, because I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here it goes.
Okay so, first of all, I'm glad that I watched the TV-show first, otherwise I would've been very confused as to both what the f'k Chomper was doing in the Great Valley and to who the f'k Ruby is. Second, this entry was terrible. Inconsistent animation, annoying comic relief characters, horrible pacing and lots of filler. LeBron's cult visits the valley and Littlefoot is excited to see his dad. But I guess, that he partied too hard and couldn't make it. So, Littlefoot take sit upon himself to set out and rescue him - the other kids follow. Petrie becomes a king of a group of tiny dinosaurs for no reason. It bears no outcome on the plot because they never return after they leave them, it's just a thing that happens. Grandpa Longneck, Alex Jones, Chomper and Ruby going after the kids is completely pointless. They do nothing to save the day. I thought that they were going to show up and help the kids with their plan or stop the Sharptooth intervening with their plan, but that doesn't happen. The kids save LeBron and then the other ones just show up - the end. It's not even bizarrely funny like some of the previous entries in the franchise, it's just bad.
It's over. I watched 14 Land Before Time movies and a 26 episode TV-show during the span of 2 weeks. I don't know if I'd recommend it. It definitely had its moments, but there's probably more important things you could do with your time. However, I can't say that I regret it. So, if you do decide to embark on this journey you need to watch every single one of them in order and you need to do it during a short period of time, otherwise it probably won't have the same effect. I have to say though, doing this kind of f'ked me up actually. After going though this I've barely watched anything new at all. Since I saw the last one I've only seen Gretel and Hansel, two Hitchcock movies because I'm watching one Hitchcock movie every month this year and I watched Being John Malkovich because I have it on blu-ray and it was recommended on Sardonicast. And then nothing. I've rewatched some stuff, but I seem to be incapable of choosing something new to watch nowadays. Although this appears really bad, I regret nothing. I feel like a more complete man and I can consider myself an authoritarian on the subject now.
Fin.