This is Hallowreen (2022)
My diary/watchlist/outline for this year's spooky season. Everybody scream!
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- DirectorDavid PriceStarsTerence KnoxPaul ScherrerRyan BollmanA journalist and his son travel to Nebraska to investigate the mysterious town of Gatlin where, unbeknownst to them, a murderous cult of children are still waiting in the corn fields.A lot more dumb (i.e. fun) than expected.
- StarsRichard AyoadeMatt BerryMatthew HolnessThis parody series is an unearthed 80s horror/drama, complete with poor production values, awful dialogue and hilarious violence. The series is set in a Hospital in Romford, which is situated over the gates of Hell.Made me grin like a crazy person for 142 minutes straight. 10/10
- CreatorEd HaasNorm LiebmannStarsFred GwynneAl LewisYvonne De CarloA family of friendly monsters have misadventures, never quite understanding why people react to them so strangely.Drops the brains of The Addams Family, and instead of the clever if ultimately tiresome formula that show's known for, it's much more playful and broad. Totally get the appeal of The Munsters, but given the choice I think I'd stick with The Addams.
- DirectorGeorge MelfordStarsCarlos VillaríasLupita TovarBarry NortonCenturies-old vampire Dracula preys upon the innocent Eva and her friends.Lupita Tovar and Rubio are excellent, but I gotta say I very much prefer the original. You can't beat Lugosi.
- DirectorErle C. KentonStarsCedric HardwickeLon Chaney Jr.Ralph BellamyDr. Frankenstein's plans to replace the brain of his monster are hijacked by his scheming and malevolent assistant Ygor.Super cozy.
- DirectorCourtney AndujarHillary AndujarAnthony CousinsStarsJon Michael SimpsonLuxy BannerSydney HuddlestonChad, the owner of Rad Chad's Horror Emporium, recounts a series of bone-chilling, blood-splattered tales to illustrate the rules of the horror genre to his newest employee.Not my kind of humour. They had the resources to make a muuuch better film, that much is clear... Emily Hagins' Cold Open is cute, and the practical gore effects are genuinely top notch, though.
- DirectorStuart WalkerStarsHenry HullWarner OlandValerie HobsonAfter botanist Wilfred Glendon travels to Tibet in search of a rare flower, the Mariphasa, he returns to a London haunted by murders that can only be the work of bloodthirsty werewolves.A "werewolf epidemic"?!! My God!
I love the rule/lore-building and the Jack Pierce make-up in this. When the film ain't too concerned with that boring love triangle, it's actually pretty good, too. Jealousy turns all men into monsters... - DirectorScott B. HansenDesiree ConnellStarsZach GalliganDerek RussoBrittney RaeOn Halloween night in New Salem, Radio DJs Chilly Billy (Corey Taylor) and Paul (Zach Galligan) tell a twisted anthology of terrifying local myths that lead to a grim end for small-town residents.There are some nice kitschy Halloween vibes, and the necrophilia segment's surprisingly out there and fun, but this baaarely holds together as an anthology.
- DirectorAudie HarrisonStarsFrank WelkerGrey GriffinMatthew LillardWith Coco and kitty in prison, Mystery Inc. thinks that they can finally enjoy a break.Decent Sunday morning entertainment. These new Mystery Inc. adventures have thair charms, but, boy, do they lack substance. Aaand all the meta stuff has honestly gotten quite tiresome by now. The music and the background artists' work definitely deserves a shout out.
- DirectorParker FinnStarsSosie BaconJessie T. UsherKyle GallnerAfter witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, a psychiatrist becomes increasingly convinced she is being threatened by an uncanny entity.Fuck, this got under my skin. The soundscape of this movie is absolutely phenomenal. Pay no heed to the trailer. It sells it super short. Smile's as good as they say. Also, it takes place during October, so it's perfect for the spooky season.
- DirectorDeclan O'BrienStarsDoug BradleyCamilla ArfwedsonSimon GintyA group of college students, on a trip to the Mountain Man Festival on Halloween in West Virginia, encounter a clan of cannibals.Well, Doug Bradley seemed like he was having fun... Gnarly kills, cruel movie (and not in "good" way the first one was). It's dumb.
P.S.: Cheetah Whores rule! - DirectorLambert HillyerStarsOtto KrugerGloria HoldenMarguerite ChurchillWhen Countess Marya Zaleska appears in London, mysterious events occur that lead Dr. Von Helsing to believe that the Countess must be a vampire.The statuesque Gloria Holden's ethereal presence and tragic performance makes this a must watch, but it's worth the gander for the bisexual/lesbian undertones and the atmosphere as well. Top 10 Universal horror for me.
- DirectorAislinn ClarkeStarsLalor RoddyCiaran FlynnHelena BereenIn the fall of 1960, Father Thomas Riley and Father John Thornton were sent by the Vatican to investigate a miraculous event in an Irish home for 'fallen women', only to uncover something much more horrific.A sufficiently spooky 'haunted convent' ride showing the dark history of Ireland's Magdalene Laundries, through a found footage period lens.
- DirectorAlice LoweStarsAlice LoweDan Renton SkinnerJo HartleyWidow Ruth is seven months pregnant when, believing herself to be guided by her unborn baby, she embarks on a homicidal rampage, dispatching anyone who stands in her way.Hilarious, heavy, and heartbreaking. Prevenge is a pitch black comedy, I had such a good time with, that it's going straight into my October rotation.
- DirectorDavid PoagStarsDonovan ColanJaiden J. SmithDylan Martin FrankelWhen a Halloween store opens in a deserted strip-mall, three friends, thinking they've outgrown trick or treating, decide to spend the night locked inside. But their night of spook-filled fun soon turns to outlandish survival.It's actually quite charming (for what it is). The kids are great, they're fully committed (Marissa Reyes especially), and the atmosphere's lovely. It's cute.
- DirectorF.W. MurnauStarsMax SchreckAlexander GranachGustav von WangenheimVampire Count Orlok expresses interest in a new residence and real estate agent Hutter's wife.Rewatch:
The film still tests my patience, but with each new viewing I notice something extraordinary about it. - CreatorHamish SteeleStarsKody KavithaZach BarackEmily OsmentTwo teens and a talking pug team up to battle demons at a haunted theme park and maybe even save the world from a supernatural apocalypse.
- DirectorMike BeckRichard HolmHenrik WadlingStarsRichard HolmMikael LindgrenMike BeckA psycho in a William Shatner mask goes after a clerk whilst butchering a bunch of people in his path.A meta fan film from sweden, with a whole lotta boobery, halfway decent gore, and, naturally, a Kung Fu zombie. I had no idea what was going on, but it was fun.
- CreatorSteven DoddStarsJohn KassirRoy BrocksmithMiguel Ferrer"Tales from the Crypt" was a 1989 horror story anthology series based on the gruesome E.C. comic books of the 1950s presented by the legendary "Crypt Keeper", a sinister ghoul obsessed with gallows humor and horrific puns.
- DirectorAnthony WallerStarsTom Everett ScottJulie DelpyVince VielufAn American man unwittingly gets involved with French werewolves who have developed a serum allowing them to transform at will.Only watch this with friends who love to wax nostalgic, 'cause it's extremely 90's. July Delpy's gorgeous, but undead Julie Bowen is definitely the mvp.
- DirectorCharles B. PierceStarsBen JohnsonAndrew PrineDawn WellsThe story of a hooded, berserk killer who terrorized the border town of Texarkana, Arkansas in 1946--leaving no fewer than five murder victims in his wake. He was never caught. Based on one of America's most baffling murder cases.A strange beast. The comedy sucks, and the police investigation's mostly dry, BUT! when it decides to be a horror movie, then it's pretty darn good. Some of those phantom killer scenes are downright disturbing.
- DirectorBrett SullivanStarsEmily PerkinsBrendan FletcherKatharine IsabelleGinger's sister Brigitte, now a werewolf herself, must try to find a cure for her blood lust before the next full moon while hiding out in a rehab clinic from a relentless werewolf.Murky themes and character work aside, the moment Brigitte and Ghost strike up an alliance of sorts, Ginger Snaps 2 comes to its own and gets really good.
P.S.: More of a Christmas movie. - DirectorJag MundhraStarsHy PykeGregory Scott CumminsKatina GarnerA kindly old grandfather is actually the leader of a murderous satanic cult which sacrifices its victims on Halloween.As bonkers as it is, the story actually kinda works. Despite the lull in the middle, this one's a schlocky good time.
- DirectorSteve BoxNick ParkStarsPeter SallisHelena Bonham CarterRalph FiennesWallace and his loyal dog, Gromit, set out to discover the mystery behind the garden sabotage that plagues their village and threatens the annual giant vegetable growing contest.An absolute delight. Jolly good show, Lads!
- StarsJoseph MayChristy MeyerKerry ShaleSurvival horror game set in the haunted forest from The Blair Witch Project (1999), where, in 1996, a man and his dog find themselves lost while helping a search party look for a missing boy.There are times when Bloober totally nail that sudden frightening realisation of complete disorientation, the hopelessness of being lost in the woods, that's synonymous with the original classic film. However, some of the gameplay mechanics are annoying, the story overall does not come together as a satisfying piece of psychological horror, and 'soldier battling his demons (his ptsd)' is as basic as you can get anyway. When I got to the location where the ending took place, my mind started to race with possibilities for the conclusion (layers on layers of meaning, allegories on allegories, repressed childhood memories running parallel with the present... etc). Instead the ending lands with a dull thud and goes on for soooooo impossbly effin long you begin to question whether it's even worth it to finish the damn thing. Not helping the situation is that other than a few neat (if cheap) tricks, there isn't much else up Blair Witch's sleeve by then. Honestly it's closer to Book of Shadows, than anything else. I have a soft spot for that sequel, so don't take it the wrong way. It's just that wasn't what I was hoping for.
It's okay. A bit boring is all. - DirectorGregory PlotkinStarsCynthea MercadoStephen ConroyAmy ForsythA masked serial killer turns a horror-themed amusement park into his own personal playground, terrorizing a group of friends while the rest of the patrons believe that it is all part of the show.Hell Fest definitely has its moments. I respect the straightforward approach, it will scratch an exact itch for the right horror fan, but tbh it mostly annoyed me.
- DirectorJean RollinStarsMarie-Pierre CastelMireille DargentPhilippe GastéTwo girls on the run get lost in the French countryside, and wind up in a haunted chateau occupied by an ailing vampire and his servants.Pure Jean Rollin for the intermediate fan. Lovely, hazy, pervy, dreamy.
- DirectorMario PilusoStarsRay BradburyLeonard NimoyAnnie BarkerFour children learn the origins of Halloween customs while trying to save the life of their friend.Cute, informative and fun. Definitely show this to your little ones.
- DirectorJoe ChappelleStarsDonald PleasencePaul RuddMarianne HaganSix years after Michael Myers last terrorized Haddonfield, he returns there in pursuit of his niece, Jamie Lloyd, who has escaped with her newborn child, for which Michael and a mysterious cult have sinister plans.The Producer's Cut:
Sooooooo much better than the theatrical. - DirectorDamien LeoneStarsJenna KanellSamantha ScaffidiDavid Howard ThorntonOn Halloween night, Tara Heyes finds herself as the obsession of a sadistic murderer known as Art the Clown.Good gore, not much else.
- DirectorNicolas RoegStarsAnjelica HustonMai ZetterlingJasen FisherA young boy stumbles onto a witch convention and must stop them, even after he has been turned into a mouse.Wonderful. If you have kids, a double-bill with Stuart Little is absolutely mandatory.
- DirectorPeter SemelkaStarsVern AdixMichael DunnKeith NelsonLocal teenagers are holding a Halloween party at a supposedly "haunted" old mill, but find out that one of the partygoers who is dressed as an alien is actually a real alien.Real strong Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! vibes. It gets a bit dull, but stick with it till the end, 'cause that's the good stuff.
- DirectorJack HannahStarsKen DarbyJune ForayJames MacDonaldWhen the nephews come to Donald's house in their Halloween costumes he dumps water on them and laughs at his trick. A witch sees this and decides to help the kids. By magic she gives Donald a bad time and the kids finally get their treats.Wow, Donald Duck's even more of an asshole than he usually is. Loved the tunes.
- DirectorBurt GillettStarsBilly BletcherPinto ColvigWalt DisneyMickey, Donald and Goofy run the "Ajax Ghost Exterminators" agency. They receive a call from lonely and bored ghosts to come to their house where they are scared silly by the hilarious haunts and taunts of these spirited pranksters.Fun ghost bustin' with the og Disney crew.
- DirectorDavid BrucknerStarsOdessa A'zionJamie ClaytonAdam FaisonA young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites.Liked it quite a bit, even though it isn't nearly kinky or gnarly enough, but then again, "enough is a myth".
- DirectorNobuhiko ÔbayashiStarsKimiko IkegamiMiki JinboKumiko ÔbaA schoolgirl and six of her classmates travel to her aunt's country home, which turns out to be haunted.It's bonkers. Watched it with friends, and I honestly was way too drunk to make sense of it, but I had a fantastic time. The editing is genuinely amazing.
- DirectorBill PosleyStarsTeon KelleyTunde LaleyeMe'Lisa SellersA gang initiation goes wrong when a group of four recruits break into a house of horror, as they're all forced to play deadly games for their lives. Win and you live - lose and you die.Even if it never fully utilized its premise, this one's a pretty decent time. I'd happily tune in for Bitch Ass 2.
- DirectorJoe DanteJohn LandisGeorge MillerStarsDan AykroydAlbert BrooksVic MorrowFour horror and science fiction segments, directed by four famous directors, each of them being a new version of a classic story from Rod Serling's landmark television series.I hate that this movie exists, so I'm glad the end product is mediocre enough that no moral quandary or ethical dilemma's really warranted. Compared to the series it sucks, and I'll never forgive John Landis (and the crew to an extent) for the lives lost makin it.
- DirectorJack BenderStarsJonelle AllenShari BelafonteLeVar BurtonPhil, Melissa, Mitch, Mary, and Vinnie are high school friends, who unwittingly raise the dead on Halloween night. Once the dead have returned, Pitchford Cove will never be the same again....or will it?Out of everything I've seen all season, this comes the closest to capturing the spirit of Halloween.
P.S.: I live for those American Graffiti vibes! - StarsDavid SoulJames MasonLance KerwinA novelist and a young horror fan attempt to save a small New England town which has been invaded by vampires.
- DirectorNicolas MeyssonneirStarsBenjamin DanielBrandon FaguePumpkin Jack is a Spooky Scary 3D platformer in which you embody Jack, the Mythical Pumpkin Lord. Dive into an Epic Adventure through otherworldly landscapes and help the Evil annihilate the Good.
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiSergio CorbucciStarsBarbara SteeleGeorges RivièreMargrete RobsahmA journalist takes a bet that he can spend the night in a haunted castle on All Hallow's Eve. During his stay, he bears witness to the castle's gruesome past coming to life before him, and falls in love with a beautiful female ghost.Sexy and spooky. What else do ya need?
- DirectorDavid Gordon GreenStarsJamie Lee CurtisAndi MatichakJames Jude CourtneyThe saga of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode comes to a spine-chilling climax in the final installment of this trilogy.The freshest take on the franchise since Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. Totally redeems this trilogy in my mind.