I know this great Doctor, if you're at Death's Door he'll pull you through!
[1977 Radio Times Christmas issue] We've always admired Abbott and Costello. They were the double act of the time.
We had not had time to establish ourselves as a double act before Ernie joined the Merchant Navy. I teamed up with the brother of the late Dave Morris.
I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful? No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.
[to Margaret Thatcher] People are always talking about what's wrong with the country - nothing is wrong with the country, I go there every summer. God bless you, Maggie, and good luck in the European Campaign and it is your round next.
[talking about scriptwriter Eddie Braben who got inspiration for his scripts by listening to how Morecambe and Wise spoke to each other off-screen] "With Eddie. he thinks of things that we think are very funny, I only wish we could think of. But we can't."