Simon Cowell might just be a genius. An hour into Wednesday night’s X Factor episode, all I could think was “Just an hour and change till the series premiere of Nashville!”
A mere 45 minutes later, however, the state of my mental health rested entirely in the fates of a lady rapper from Flint, Mi, who fancies a sequined eyepatch; a trio of Texas sisters who look like they’ve been perpetually trapped inside a tampon ad; five (possibly six) teenage boys glued together by Simon Cowell’s sweat and Marc Anthony’s tears (it’s hard to keep count...
A mere 45 minutes later, however, the state of my mental health rested entirely in the fates of a lady rapper from Flint, Mi, who fancies a sequined eyepatch; a trio of Texas sisters who look like they’ve been perpetually trapped inside a tampon ad; five (possibly six) teenage boys glued together by Simon Cowell’s sweat and Marc Anthony’s tears (it’s hard to keep count...
- 10/11/2012
- by Michael Slezak
- TVLine.com
A number of crimes involving the male torso went down on Thursday night’s installment of The X Factor. Simon Cowell rocked a neckline that plunged dangerously close to his netherregions. A member of boy band Emblem3 wore suspenders — without a shirt! (I’ll pause for a moment while you fight back the acrid taste of bile). And oh the sounds that got caught and killed in the chests of fresh-faced Willie Jones and wheelchair-bound Freddie Combs! (We’ll just assume the former’s were low and rumbly, in a bebeh-lock-them-dawwrs kinda way, and the latter’s were tremulous and overbaked.
- 10/5/2012
- by Michael Slezak
- TVLine.com
Bring on the dancing dogs! America’s Got X Factor finished its Season 2 auditions Thursday night, and I, for one, can’t wait to see how the Pekingese and the Poodle fare when they get to Boot Camp.
Okay, okay, I’m being a cranky beast from Hades, but Thursday night’s X Factor installment felt more like NBC’s summer variety special than a search for a legitimate musical superstar. There was the 13-year-old kid who passed out backstage from “dehydration” — a dark part of my brain imagined him whispering “Mom, did you slip my that Rohypnol like I asked you to?...
Okay, okay, I’m being a cranky beast from Hades, but Thursday night’s X Factor installment felt more like NBC’s summer variety special than a search for a legitimate musical superstar. There was the 13-year-old kid who passed out backstage from “dehydration” — a dark part of my brain imagined him whispering “Mom, did you slip my that Rohypnol like I asked you to?...
- 9/28/2012
- by Michael Slezak
- TVLine.com
Wednesday night’s X Factor ended with the image of a 13-year-old boy collapsed in a heap in his mother’s lap, a flurry of producers and medics trying to figure out if he’d live or if he’d eventually die of embarrassment at the hands of Simon Cowell.
I’m not sure if the incident was a clever indictment of the lengths today’s youth will go to for a chance at fame, or just a happy (medical) accident that the show’s producers cynically used to fill out yet another two-hour audition episode. Maybe it was both.
I’m not sure if the incident was a clever indictment of the lengths today’s youth will go to for a chance at fame, or just a happy (medical) accident that the show’s producers cynically used to fill out yet another two-hour audition episode. Maybe it was both.
- 9/27/2012
- by Michael Slezak
- TVLine.com
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