Poll: Favorite Woody Allen Quote - Part II

Results of 558 votes:

1. 1.
   

   Woody Allen

    

   "If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job."
2. 2.
   

   Woody Allen in Antz (1998)

    

   "It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
3. 3.
   

   Woody Allen and Roberto Benigni in To Rome with Love (2012)

    

   "Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill ’em."
4. 4.
   

   Woody Allen at an event for Irrational Man (2015)

    

   "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying."
5. 5.
   

   Woody Allen in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)

    

   "The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody’s going to make fun of you."
6. 6.
   

   Diane Keaton and Woody Allen circa 1970s

    

   "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
7. 7.
   

   #9

    

   "Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
8. 8.
   

   Woody Allen and China Lee in What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)

    

   "Sex between two people is a beautiful thing; between five it's fantastic."
9. 9.
   

   Woody Allen and Owen Wilson at an event for Midnight in Paris (2011)

    

   "80% of success is showing up."
10. 10.
    

    Woody Allen

     

    "I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodelling."
11. 11.
    

    Woody Allen and Javier Bardem at an event for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

     

    "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
12. 12.
    

    Woody Allen in Zelig (1983)

     

    "I took a speed reading course and read War And Peace in 20 minutes. It involves Russia."
13. 13.
    

    Woody Allen in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)

     

    "Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end."
14. 14.
    

    Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in Manhattan (1979)

     

    "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better ... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."
15. 15.
    

    Woody Allen and Louise Lasser in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)

     

    "Sex is only dirty if it's done right."
16. 16.
    

    Woody Allen and Emma Stone at an event for Irrational Man (2015)

     

    [ Responding to fans, sceptical of his plan to direct an opera ] "I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm."
17. 17.
    

    Woody Allen at an event for To Rome with Love (2012)

     

    "Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."
18. 18.
    

    Woody Allen and Parker Posey at an event for Irrational Man (2015)

     

    "This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?"
19. 19.
    

    Woody Allen and Anthony Hopkins in You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)

     

    "Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying."
20. 20.
    

    Woody Allen in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

     

    "I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes."
21. 21.
    

    Woody Allen, Parker Posey, and Emma Stone at an event for Irrational Man (2015)

     

    "It’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine."
22. 22.
    

    Woody Allen at an event for Match Point (2005)

     

    "With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke."
23. 23.
    

    Woody Allen and Robert Walden in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)

     

    "I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's."
24. 24.
    

    Woody Allen in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)

     

    "I don't believe in science. Science is an intellectual dead end. You know, it's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants."
25. 25.
    

    #24

     

    "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."