Poll: Favorite Woody Allen Quote - Part I

Results of 713 votes:

1. 1.
   

   Woody Allen in Annie Hall (1977)

    

   "I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't kno…
2. 2.
   

   Woody Allen

    

   "Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." from: Annie Hall (1977)
3. 3.
   

   Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)

    

   "I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." from: Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
4. 4.
   

   Woody Allen and Téa Leoni in Hollywood Ending (2002)

    

   "Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex." from: Hollywood Ending (2002)
5. 5.
   

   Woody Allen and Viva in Play It Again, Sam (1972)

    

   Allen: What are you doing Saturday night? Woman: Committing suicide. Allen: What about Friday night? from: Play It Again, Sam (1972)
6. 6.
   

   Mia Farrow in Radio Days (1987)

    

   "What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people." from: Radio Days (1987)
7. 7.
   

   Woody Allen in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)

    

   "Last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty." from: Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
8. 8.
   

   Woody Allen in Shadows and Fog (1991)

    

   "I don't know enough to be incompetent." from: Shadows and Fog (1991)
9. 9.
   

   #12

    

   "I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me." from: Annie Hall (1977)
10. 10.
    

    Woody Allen and Mariel Hemingway in Manhattan (1979)

     

    "I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics." from: Manhattan (1979)
11. 11.
    

    Woody Allen in Annie Hall (1977)

     

    "I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox." from: Annie Hall (1977)
12. 12.
    

    #9

     

    "Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television." from: Husbands and Wives (1992)
13. 13.
    

    Woody Allen in Zelig (1983)

     

    "I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people." from: Zelig (1983)
14. 14.
    

    Woody Allen and Mia Farrow in A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)

     

    "Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it." from: A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
15. 15.
    

    Woody Allen and Kirstie Alley in Deconstructing Harry (1997)

     

    "Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing’s gotta be the worst *beep* job in the world." from: Deconstructing Harry (1997)
16. 16.
    

    Woody Allen in Take the Money and Run (1969)

     

    "After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her, and after half an hour I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse." from: Take the Money and Run (1969)
17. 17.
    

    Woody Allen in A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)

     

    "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark." from: Annie Hall (1977)
18. 18.
    

    Woody Allen and Carlos Montalbán in Bananas (1971)

     

    "I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts." from: Bananas (1971)
19. 19.
    

    Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, Judy Davis, and Jesse Eisenberg in To Rome with Love (2012)

     

    "I took one course in existential philosophy at New York University and on the final they gave me ten questions. I couldn't answer a single one of 'em. You know? I left ’em all blank... I got a h…
20. 20.
    

    Jennifer Tilly as Olive with director Woody Allen

     

    "Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had. Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone." from: Love and Death (1975)
21. 21.
    

    #18

     

    "I had a great evening; it was like the Nuremberg Trials." from: Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
22. 22.
    

    Woody Allen at an event for Hollywood Ending (2002)

     

    "I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light." from: Annie Hall (1977)
23. 23.
    

    Woody Allen & Helen Hunt star

     

    "I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't." from: The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
24. 24.
    

    DON KEEFER with WOODY ALLEN in SLEEPER (on screen - Howard Cosell)

     

    Luna Schlosser: It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for two hundred years. Miles Monroe: Two hundred and four, if you count my marriage from: Sleeper (1973)
25. 25.
    

    Woody Allen, Drew Barrymore, and Edward Norton in Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

     

    "Regarding love, heh, you know, what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that count. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight mont…