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1-13 of 13
- Glamorous Monica Simmons arrives at Blandings as the new 'pig man' and Freddie, despite a vow to forswear women for drink, is smitten. Connie has also invited Lady Daphne Littlewood, whom she believes is a rich widow, hoping she will be a suitable match for Clarence. Lady Daphne and her obnoxious son Huxley show an unusual interest in the Empress, which endears her to Clarence. But Monica discovers she is a penniless fortune hunter out to marry Clarence for his money and that, after the wedding, Beach, Connie, Freddie, and the Empress will all be thrown out. Drastic action is required.
- Freddie comes to Blandings with Paquita, a Portuguese night club dancer who speaks no English but whom he has married. Wrongly believing her to be a princess the snobbish Connie is impressed. She is less enamoured of the fact that her niece Gertrude wants to marry Beefy Bingham, a clumsy,penniless vicar, when Connie has set her sights on a wealthy husband for the girl. So Freddie passes him off as Beefy Popjoy,a rich suitor though Beefy's maladroitness lands Clarence in plaster. Since this gets him out of taking Gertrude to a dance however Clarence is not ungrateful and blesses the union. Paquita on the other hand turns out to be an impostor and a thief and definitely not a Portuguese princess.
- Fiery Scots gardener McAllister threatens to quit when the Empress nibbles his carefully-sculpted topiary but McAllister is needed for the annual fete so Clarence must grovel to make him stay. Cockney children Ern and Gladys are billeted at Blandings as part of a Fresh Air for Children scheme and, whilst Freddie falls for their teacher Miss Younghusband, Clarence indulges them to annoy Connie. They even, to Clarence's delight, destroy the dreaded fete.
- Freddie is in debt to savage book-maker Nobby, whose sister, dancer Georgia, accompanies him to Blandings for the money. Baxter also reappears as a tutor to Clarence's grandson George, hired by Connie. When Clarence shoots Baxter in the bottom with an air rifle Freddie tries to blackmail his father into paying the debt but Georgia is so besotted with Beach that she agrees to make her brother wipe out what is owing if the butler will dance with her. Baxter finally leaves after most of the family have shot him with the air rifle - including Connie.
- Vindictive magistrate Sir Gregory Parsloe jails drunken "pigman" Cyril Wellbeloved for a week, knowing that Cyril is the only person who can prepare the Empress of Blandings, prize sow of eccentric Clarence, Lord Emsworth, in time for the Shropshire Show. And, if the Empress is not in top form, Parsloe will win with his pig Her Majesty. Clarence's feckless son Freddie has money at long odds riding on the Empress's victory and is anxious to help whilst Parsloe's odious son Heacham is pursuing Clarence's niece Angela, who is really in love with penniless Jimmy Belford. Jimmy is jailed thanks to Clarence's domineering sister Connie, but fortunately Freddie has a plan which will win the Empress the title and Jimmy the hand of Angela.
- Connie engages an officious secretary,Baxter, to organize Clarence but his aloof manner quickly offends Clarence and the staff so Clarence and butler Beach hide his precious ledger in the manure heap. At the same time Freddie hopes to impress new girlfriend Pandora by buying a lorry-load of dog food and selling it to Connie's canine loving friend Veronica. He stores the tins in the bedroom but their weight causes the ceiling to collapse - onto the freshly-manured Baxter,who departs in a huff. Veronica's American husband Jimmy,however,is so amused by events that he buys all the dog food.
- The poker-wielding Duke of Dunstable threatens to have Clarence committed for pottiness, so Beach and Freddie hatch a plan to rescue him. Eggs required.
- Clarence and Connie's even more terrifying sister, Charlotte, is threatening to take up residence at Blandings. Permanently. Freddie comes to the rescue with an audacious plan to steal the Empress.
- Clarence must prevent his younger brother Galahad publishing his scandalous memoirs and ruining the family name. If he fails, Connie will exile him to hellish London.
- Clarence has grown an appalling beard, to the dismay of Beach and Connie, but Freddie needs Clarence to convince Hollywood starlet Pauline Petite of his bona-fides.
- Connie is trying to impress Colonel Fanshawe, in the hope that Clarence might succeed Fanshawe as Lord Lieutenant of Shropshire; but Beach is behaving very oddly indeed..
- Hannibal Didcot is bullying Clarence over a fake painting, so Connie encourages Hannibal to propose to wealthy American, Vanessa Polk. Galahad and Freddie have other ideas.
- Clarence's bid to win the Pumpkin prize is threatened by Connie's ambition to marry Freddie off to Sir Gregory's niece.