- Sgt. MacGillicuddy: Now when I say go, duck your heads under that water and hold it.
- Larry: For how long?
- Sgt. MacGillicuddy: I'll tell you when to come up.
- Capt. Burke: Were you born in this country?
- Larry: What?
- Capt. Burke: Were you born in this country?
- Larry: No, Milwaukee!
- Capt. Burke: Would you fight for this great republic, and...
- Moe: Republican? No, I'm a Democrat!
- Curly: Not me, I'm a Pedestrian!
- Capt. Burke: ...wouldn't know a shell from a boat.
- Larry: What'd he say?
- Moe: He says you smell like a goat.
- Larry: Oh, yeah? Same to you!
- Capt. Burke: Where were you born?
- Curly: He says your pants are torn.
- Moe: I ain't got any on.
- Larry: Not worn, corn! Corn!
- Curly: Oh, I got two on both dogs!
- Moe: [after firing a cannon shell which destroys a building] I don't know where that one landed, but I hope it didn't hit the pool room.
- Curly: Oh, the first shell went in there. It goes round and a round, woah, woah and it goes out there.