Personal Property (1937)

Jean Harlow: Crystal Wetherby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Crystal Wetherby : And while we're asking so many questions, why were YOU sent to jail?

  Raymond Dabney : Murder.

  Crystal Wetherby : I wish it had been suicide!

• Crystal Wetherby : Oh, I wish we could get rid of him.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : Would you like me to poison him, madam?

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, Clara, let's not be too enthusiastic.

• Raymond Dabney : I dare you'll hate me by tomorrow.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, I'm not exactly fond of you now.

• Crystal Wetherby : Must you keep your eyes on me all the time?

  Raymond Dabney : It's all in the line of duty and I love my work.

• Crystal Wetherby : All my real friends are as broke as I am and my family is in Des Moines, Iowa. Have you ever heard of Des Moines, Iowa?

  Raymond Dabney : No. I haven't.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, that will give you a rough idea of where it is.

• Crystal Wetherby : [Doorbell ringing]  Clara, this isn't a creditor.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : That's what you say, madam.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, will you please go answer the door?

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : Is that an order, madam?

  Crystal Wetherby : Yes it is, Clara.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : Oh, very well. Once more into the breach, dear friends.

• Clara, Crystal's Maid : How did the late Mr. Wetherby pass on, madam?

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, eh, he used to love to fight.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : Oh, the fighting type. I've experienced them.

  Crystal Wetherby : Yeah and he always one, except the last time he picked a tiger, a Bengal tiger.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : Hmmm. Kinda overmatched itself, as you might say.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, definitely.

• Raymond Dabney : As we see that though the late Mr. Wetherby's head was small, his feet were large.

  Crystal Wetherby : Is that so. Well, with you, it's just the other way around.

• Catherine Burns : But, Crystal, darling, haven't you been well? You look so tired.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, no, I've been all right. But, needless to say, you're the picture of health! You've gained, haven't you? It's very becoming though.

• Raymond Dabney : Then, you married Mr. Wetherby.

  Crystal Wetherby : I think he married me. I wasn't really noticing.

• Raymond Dabney : Your face seems strangely familiar to me.

  Crystal Wetherby : [Sternly]  So do your manners!

• Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : When you settle with him, he'll go. In the meanwhile, don't you worry. He's a gentleman, you can see. He has his orders. Treat him right and he'll treat you right. There you are... the man in possession.

  Crystal Wetherby : Wait a minute. What do you mean? Man in possession? Man in possession of what? Me?

  Raymond Dabney : Well, you see that the order...

  Crystal Wetherby : Will you let me get a word in edge ways! Who are you anyway?

  Raymond Dabney : Bailiff of the County...

  Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : Eh, Sheriff's Officer, if you please.

• Crystal Wetherby : Clara, do you think it's awful to marry for money?

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : No, madam. Not for a lot of money.

  Crystal Wetherby : You're very practical, aren't you.

• Crystal Wetherby : Would you be good enough to shut the door.

  Raymond Dabney : I already shut the door.

  Crystal Wetherby : On your way out!

  Raymond Dabney : Oh, you mean you'd rather I left.

  Crystal Wetherby : I mean I'd rather you hadn't come at all.

• Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : Oh, good morning, Ma'am. I just popped 'round to see if everything was shipshape.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, well, is that so? Well, everything's just as shipshape as it can be, whatever that means.

• Claude Dabney : If I go, I may not come back.

  Crystal Wetherby : And if you don't go, I may not want you to come back.

• Raymond Dabney : Now, let's see, after the wedding, you'll be able to pay the bill and I'll be able to go.

  Crystal Wetherby : Go? Go where?

  Raymond Dabney : Well, after all, you are going to be married, you know.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, yes.

  Raymond Dabney : You don't want two men in possession, do you?

• Raymond Dabney : As a matter of fact, I had the offer of a job today.

  Crystal Wetherby : That's nice. Who from?

  Raymond Dabney : I think its a rather a good job, too. It's in America.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, Mrs. Burn's, by any chance?

  Raymond Dabney : No. Miss Burns.

  Crystal Wetherby : Miss Burns! Well of all the cheek!

• Crystal Wetherby : Well it is just you and me and the flowers.

  Raymond Dabney : And the trees.

  Crystal Wetherby : And the bees.

  Raymond Dabney : And the breeze.

  Crystal Wetherby : And the birds.

• Raymond Dabney : What kind of contest was this? Bathing beauties?

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, it was sort of intellectual. What do you mean bathing beauties?

  Raymond Dabney : Are you intellectual too?

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, I had to think of a slogan for canned fish.

  Raymond Dabney : A slogan for canned fish? What did you think of?

  Crystal Wetherby : Would you really like to know?

  Raymond Dabney : Certainly!

  Crystal Wetherby : If you can't fish, canned fish.

• Crystal Wetherby : What's your big idea?

  Raymond Dabney : Simply this, I can't evaporate; but, I can cooperate - as part of my duties.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well?

  Raymond Dabney : I was thinking that I might butle for you.

  Crystal Wetherby : Butle? Eh, what's butle?

  Raymond Dabney : Well, that's the infinitive of butler. I butle. Thou butleist. He butles.

  Crystal Wetherby : You mean you'd...

  Raymond Dabney : Yes! I know something about wines and you saw this morning how I handle a tray. So, tonight I'll be the butler instead of the Sheriff's officer. What do you say?

  Crystal Wetherby : What do I say? It's a grand idea!

• Crystal Wetherby : That's fine! Every inch a butler!

• Crystal Wetherby : [Doorbell rings]  You better answer it. Eh, don't leave me here barefooted!

• Raymond Dabney : Haven't we met somewhere before?

  Crystal Wetherby : No, we have not.

  Raymond Dabney : Very foolish of us, wasn't it?

  Crystal Wetherby : That is a matter of opinion.

• Bobby at Crystal's House : He's only doing his duty, ma'am.

  Raymond Dabney : Duty, ma'am.

  Crystal Wetherby : Is it his duty to follow me all over the place?

  Bobby at Crystal's House : I'm afraid it is. They're entirely within their rights.

  Crystal Wetherby : Within th... well, I like that. Who do you think you are anyway?

• Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : Oh, I'm very sorry, ma'am, but I have to leave my man here until the money's paid.

  Crystal Wetherby : You have to what?

  Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : It's the law. He must stay here to see that nothing's moved from the house.

  Crystal Wetherby : He has to stay he... are you insane?

  Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : It's not me, ma'am. It's the law. But you can get rid of him any time by paying the money in full.

• Herbert Jenkins, Bailiff : In the meanwhile, don't you worry. He's a gentleman, as you can see. He has his orders. Treat him right and he'll treat you right. There you are, my mate, the man in possession.

  [he hands the collection writ to Raymond] 

  Crystal Wetherby : Wait a minute! What do you mean, "man in possession?" Man in possession of what - me?

• Raymond Dabney : Well, I have to see that you don't remove all the furniture during the night.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, you read my mind.

  Raymond Dabney : Heh, heh, heh. Now you read mine.

• Crystal Wetherby : [after Raymond puts on a pair of her late husband's pajamas]  Now you look just like a peppermint stick.

• Raymond Dabney : [bringing Crystal a breakfast tray, and wearing clodhopper boots and a too-small Alpine hat with a huge ostrich feather]  As you see, though the late Mr. Wetherby's head was small, his feet were large.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, is that so? Well, with you, it's just the other way around.

• Clara, Crystal's Maid : How did that get there?

  Crystal Wetherby : By the dumb waiter.

  Clara, Crystal's Maid : But we haven't any.

  Crystal Wetherby : Oh, yes, we have... very.

• Crystal Wetherby : No, all my real friends are as broke as I am, and my family's in Des Moines, Iowa. Uh, have you ever heard of Des Moines, Iowa?

  Raymond Dabney : No. Nope, I haven't.

  Crystal Wetherby : Well, that'll give you a rough idea of where it is.

• Crystal Wetherby : Well, Mr. Sheriff man.

  Raymond Dabney aka Ferguson : Uh, Sheriff's officer, please.

• Crystal Wetherby : Well, good morning, Lloyd. Where have you been?

  Raymond Dabney aka Ferguson : Oh, out in the garden chatting with a friendly worm.

  Crystal Wetherby : How nice. You seem to know everyone.

• Raymond Dabney aka Ferguson : I was thinking that I might buttle for you.

  Crystal Wetherby : Uh, buttle, uh, what's buttle?

  Raymond Dabney aka Ferguson : Well, that's the, the uh, that's the infinitive of butler - I buttle, thou buttlest, he buttles.

  [sic] 

• Crystal Wetherby : Well, here's to my creditors.

  Raymond Dabney aka Ferguson : May you never be able to pay them.

• Crystal Wetherby : [answering the telephone]  Catherine... uh, just why do you want to speak to my butler at this time of night?... Heh, heh, well, that's too bad - you forgot your cigarette case. That's the trouble with cigarette cases... Oh, no, no. It's no trouble at all... . Uh, no, he's asleep now... Uh, oh yes. I'll have him look for it first thing in the morning... Uh, if you find it in your handbag in the meantime, be sure and let me know. Goodbye.