The Man Who Came to Dinner (1941)

Monty Woolley: Sheridan Whiteside

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sheridan Whiteside : [opening a box of candy]  Ah, pecan butternut fudge!

  Nurse Preen : Oh, my, you mustn't eat candy, Mr. Whiteside, it's very bad for you.

  Sheridan Whiteside : My great aunt Jennifer ate a whole box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be 102 and when she'd been dead three days she looked better than you do *now!*

• Sheridan Whiteside : Is there a man in the world who suffers as I do from the gross inadequacies of the human race?

• Bertram H. 'Bert' Jefferson : How do you think Ohio women stack up?

  Sheriden Whiteside : I've never gone in for stacking women up so I really can't say.

• Sheridan Whiteside : Strange? She's right out of The Hound of the Baskervilles.

• Sheridan Whiteside : And now, will you all now leave quietly, or must I ask Miss Cutler to pass among you with a baseball bat?

• Sheridan Whiteside : Go in and read the life of Florence Nightingale and learn how unfitted you are for your chosen profession.

• Sheridan Whiteside : This ageing debutante, Mr. Jefferson, I retain in my employ only because she is the sole support of her two-headed brother!

• Sheridan Whiteside : I simply will not sit down to dinner with midwestern barbarians, I think too highly of my digestive system.

  Maggie Cutler : Harry Clarke is one of your oldest friends.

  Sheridan Whiteside : My stomach is an older one.

  Maggie Cutler : And Mrs. Stanley is president of the women's club.

  Sheridan Whiteside : I wouldn't care if she was the whole cabinet.

• Sheridan Whiteside : Banjo, my lad, you're wonderful. I may write a book about you.

  Banjo : Don't bother, I can't read!

• Sheriden Whiteside : Will you take your clammy hand off my chair? You have the touch of a love-starved cobra.

• Nurse Preen : Mr. Whiteside, I can only be in one place at a time.

  Sheridan Whiteside : That's very fortunate for this community.

• Sheriden Whiteside : [a knock at the door]  Nobody's home! The Stanleys have all been arrested for peddling dope! Go away!

• Sheridan Whiteside : Stand back please... I have several contagious diseases.

• Sheridan Whiteside : I suppose you've written the great American novel.

  Bertram H. 'Bert' Jefferson : No, I've written the great American play.

  Sheridan Whiteside : Well I don't want to read it.

• Sheridan Whiteside : How long can you stay?

  Banjo : Just long enough to take a bath.

• Sheridan Whiteside : I shall require the exclusive use of this room, as well as that drafty sewer you call the library. I want no one to come in or out while I am in this room.

  Mrs. Ernest Stanley : But we have to go up those steps to get to our rooms, Mr. Whiteside.

  Sheridan Whiteside : Isn't there a back entrance?

  Mrs. Ernest Stanley : Well, Yes...

  Sheridan Whiteside : Then use that. Let me see, there will be a great many incoming and outgoing calls, so please do not use the telephone.

• Richard Stanley : I had to go to three different stores.

  Sheridan Whiteside : How did you travel? By ox cart?

• Sheridan Whiteside : Will you both stop this female drooling. I have a headache.

• Sheridan Whiteside : Get your fish-hooks off me!

• Sheridan Whiteside : Suppose your parents are unhappy with you. It's good for them. It develops character.

• Sheridan Whiteside : We are not amused.

• Sheridan Whiteside : [to Chinese guests]  Now let me ask you, gentlemen, is it true that in China, you drown middle-aged businessmen at birth?

• Mrs. Ernest Stanley : Mr. Whiteside! My cook and my butler, they've been with me for ten years.

  Sheridan Whiteside : I am commuting their sentence.

• Maggie Cutler : She's Looking Very Well Isn't She..?

  Sheridan Whiteside : Who..?

  Maggie Cutler : The Countess Of Cyanide..!