That Uncertain Feeling (1941)
Eve Arden: Sally Aikens
Quotes
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Sally Aikens : I was doing some secretarial work for Mr. Baker.
Mrs. Jill Baker : Oh, secretary's work on Saturday night?
Sally Aikens : Oh, well, eh, I-I'm a notary public too.
Mrs. Jill Baker : Oh, I see. And you brought your seal?
Sally Aikens : Oh, yes!
Mrs. Jill Baker : A-ha, a trained seal.
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Jones : Miss Aikens, we want a woman's point of view on a certain situation. Now, Mr. Baker has a friend and he's in trouble...
Sally Aikens : Oh, Mr. Baker!
Jones : [Shushing Larry] Now, Mr. Baker has nothing whatever to do with it. Let's call the friend Mr. Brown. Now, Mr. Brown has a wife... Mr. & Mrs. Brown have been married for, uh, how long?
Larry Baker : Well, say six years. They live in Toledo.
Sally Aikens : Six years in Toledo. That's bad.
Jones : All right then, let's say New York. Now Mr. Brown is worried about his marriage. Things are not going along as well as they used to.
Sally Aikens : What kind of a man IS this Mr. Brown?
Larry Baker : Very nice...
Sally Aikens : Is he attractive?
Jones : Very attractive.
[to Larry]
Jones : Don't you think so?
Larry Baker : Yes.
Sally Aikens : And yet she's complaining.
Larry Baker : Well, she's drifting away from him.
Jones : Yes, and he wants to get things back on the old basis.
Sally Aikens : Who doesn't?
Jones : Yes.
[clears throat]
Jones : Now, Miss Aikens, as a woman, I'm asking you, what is the right approach?
Sally Aikens : Well, I should say a mink coat would do the trick.
Larry Baker : She has a mink coat.
Sally Aikens : Then what's she complaining about?
[the men are exasperated, and Jones dismisses Miss Aikens from the conversation]
Larry Baker : Just a moment. Now look here. Mrs. Brown is interested in another man.
Sally Aikens : Oh... If there aren't any witnesses she's going to deny it... But I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give you any advice. I probably have too much sympathy for Mr. Brown, and not enough patience with Mrs. Brown. We get cases like that every day. The wife is bored; marriage is just a habit. But on the other hand, she accepts everything her husband gives her. I think she ought to be kicked out. Do I sound old-fashioned?
Jones : No, we'll let you know, Miss Aikens.
Sally Aikens : Well anyway, I think Mr. Brown's a pretty swell guy. I've always thought so.
[Miss Aikens leaves the room]
Jones : ...She certainly had a couple of interesting angles.
Larry Baker : I didn't notice them.