- [referring to Whitey Cole]
- Amos Bradford: He's suffering from rabid delusions aggravated by a moronic mentality.
- Andy: Is that bad?
- Horace Weatherby: Help! Help! Someone tried to break into my room!
- Tim Winfield: A man or a woman?
- Horace Weatherby: A man, I suppose. Why would a woman want to break into my room?
- Tim Winfield: Yeah, I guess you're right.
- Horace Weatherby: I beg your pardon.
- Mike Bardoni: What for?
- Horace Weatherby: I just beg your pardon, that's all.
- Mike Bardoni: Don't bother me, screwball.
- [after Andy told the Sheriff that Allen Bentley had threatened Tim Winfield]
- Amos Bradford: It's too bad you weren't born without a tongue, instead of without a brain.