- Richard Nugent: Hey, you remind me of a man.
- Susan Turner: What man?
- Richard Nugent: The man with the power.
- Susan Turner: What power?
- Richard Nugent: The power of whodoo.
- Susan Turner: Whodoo?
- Richard Nugent: You do.
- Susan Turner: Do what?
- Richard Nugent: You remind me of a man...
- Matt Beemish: I'm the court psychiatrist.
- Richard Nugent: Come back in an hour. I'll be crazy by then.
- Agnes Prescott: Now there's a guy who never goes out of a girl's mind. He just stays there... like a heavy meal.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: How'd you get in here?
- Matt Beemish: Well, the door was closed, so I opened it and came right in.
- Richard Nugent: [Jerry is sitting in his car in front of the Turner house] Jerry, what are you doing out here? Why don't you go inside?
- Jerry White: I'm not welcome. I'm a square in Susan's social circle.
- Richard Nugent: Nonsense, I'm sure Susan doesn't know you're out here.
- Jerry White: She put me here.
- Richard Nugent: Oh.
- Joey: [Susan arrives at their table in a rage] Is this your daughter, Judge?
- Richard Nugent: [shocked that he'd insinuate Margaret is old enough to have a teenage daughter] It's her sister!
- Joey: Funny, you look enough alike to be mother and daughter!
- Margaret: [annoyed] Sisters look alike too.
- Agnes Prescott: I hate my sister.
- Susan: Have you ever married?
- Richard Nugent: No.
- Susan: Have you ever been in love?
- Richard Nugent: Yes I have. Tell me what kind of paper does this school run?
- Susan: Oh, all the students read it.
- Richard Nugent: I'll bet they do.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Thank you. You said that graciously. Perhaps the result of practice?
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: You said that ungraciously. Perhaps the result of practice?
- Judge Margaret Turner: I had that coming.
- Judge Margaret Turner: If you're interested in a more exact science, you might spend some time on geometry.
- Susan Turner: I don't consider geometry a part of life.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Mr. Roberts does. He says you're the first student to define a triangle as two women crazy about one man.
- Matt Beemish: As Menninger clearly points out, traumatic events...
- Richard Nugent: [interrupting] The only traumatic event she needs is a good smack in the jaw!
- Matt Beemish: She's my niece... but you're absolutely right.
- Waiter at Tick Tock Club: [to Nugent after he has been yelled at, insulted, slapped, had champagne tossed in his face and been stuck with the check] Can I get you anything else, sir?
- Richard Nugent: For instance?
- Susan: Did you have many ordeals before you became a success?
- Richard Nugent: No, I...
- Susan: You can talk to me. I want you to think of me, not as a newspaper woman, but as a friend.
- Richard Nugent: Well, in that case, I'll tell you. I did suffer. When I was 10, my mother and father had a double suicide pact, they made it. I was sent to an orphanage. Some days they didn't beat me. Then one night I escaped, I ran away to New York. I used to steal.
- Susan: What did you steal?
- Richard Nugent: Beg your pardon?
- Susan: What did you steal?
- Richard Nugent: Crusts of bread... and things. One time I stole a valise. There were paints and paintbrushes inside. So I began to paint. Then they got me. I was sent to a reform school, but I escaped again.
- Susan: Go on.
- Richard Nugent: Back to new York. A weathly society lady saw my work, fell in love with me and sent me to art school. The rest is history.
- Susan: How wonderful. How terribly wonderful.
- Richard Nugent: Could we do this some other time? I've got a date.
- Susan: Then you're not married?
- Richard Nugent: No.
- Susan: I knew you weren't. You just couldn't be.
- Richard Nugent: Oh I've had some offers.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Behind every defeated man there's a frustrated love.
- Susan Turner: You're right. And I promise, all my life, never to hurt you.
- Matt Beemish: But I've got a plan.
- Richard Nugent: I've had enough of your plans and your whole family.
- Richard Nugent: Thank you, Your Honor, may I go?
- Judge Margaret Turner: You've just got here, don't you like our court?
- Susan: Well, my attitude is that one female judge in the family is enough.
- Richard Nugent: Did you say that your name was Turner?
- Susan: That's right! My sister is Judge Margaret Turner.
- Richard Nugent: Nice to have met the family, bye.
- Matt Beemish: A girl her age is entitled to growing pains, isn't she?
- Judge Margaret Turner: Yes, but Susan's growing pains are rapidly becoming a major disease.
- Susan Turner: Well, you don't have to make such a big thing about it Jerry. After all, the war is over.
- Jerry White: I know, but guns go off by accident sometimes, or a fellow could trip on a bayonet.
- Judge Margaret Turner: [on the bench] It's important that I consider only the evidence presented in this matter.
- Prosecuting attorney: Very well, your honor.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Don't sulk about it.
- Minor Role: [Desk boy in Dick Nugent's apartment building] I'm 15.
- Susan Turner: I'm 17.
- Minor Role: That's okay, I like older women.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: You know, my father was a bachelor.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Really?
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: [chuckles] Wait till I finish.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Please don't have any illusions about this matter. I'm doing this against my better judgment. I would just as soon my sister we're going out with an actor.
- Matt Beemish: Judge Turner doesn't exactly mean that.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Oh, I was just wondering.
- Matt Beemish: She means, as head of a psychiatric clinic, that I've recommended you as a vital therapy measure.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Hmmm. That's great. Recommended for children.
- Susan Turner: Why not send me to prison and get me out of the way?
- Judge Margaret Turner: Susan!
- Susan Turner: I'm old enough to fight for my own happiness. Anyway, I saw him first.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Mr. Nugent, I have good news.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: You're going to hang me.
- Judge Margaret Turner: I'm afraid I'm the one who ought to be hanged.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Won't I sit down?
- Judge Margaret Turner: Please do.
- Susan Turner: Do you know what you are? You're a regular Blackbeard.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Bluebeard, dear.
- Susan Turner: Well, a rose by any color.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Now, everybody's too excited.
- Tommy: Nobody's excited.
- Judge Margaret Turner: It's nothing. I'm sure you didn't know she'd be here.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Are you sure you're sure I didn't know she'd be here?
- Chester Walters: [In Dick's jail cell] Tell me exactly what happened.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Hmph. If I knew exactly what happened, I wouldn't be here.
- Judge Margaret Turner: May I have your name, please?
- Anthony Herman: Uh,
- [clears his throat]
- Anthony Herman: Anthony Herman. I work at the
- [clears his throat]
- Anthony Herman: Vampire Club.
- Judge Margaret Turner: In what capacity?
- Anthony Herman: To maintain law and order. I throw people out that cause a disturbance in any shape or form.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: I'm doing a series of paintings on Americana, and I'm including a nightclub scene.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Creating a nightclub scene would seem more appropriate.
- Jerry White: Is it okay for Saturday night, Susie? You promised.
- Susan Turner: Promises are the hollow shells of undone deeds.
- Susan Turner: Well, for gosh sakes, what's that supposed to mean?
- Jerry White: You're a nice boy, Jerry, but you're callow.
- Jerry White: Not too callow to buy you sodas or take you to a movie when your allowances runs out.
- Matt Beemish: Now, you just leave things in my hands, Mr. Nugent. And I dare say you'll be surprised at the results.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Dare say.
- Matt Beemish: I have a plan.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Tell me, what can they do to me if I kill a judge?
- Matt Beemish: Hmm. I understand how you feel.
- Judge Margaret Turner: I've had enough of this, and I've had enough of you. Everywhere you go, you attract trouble.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: There you go, jumping again.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Shut up. Thank you for a lovely evening.
- [she storms off]
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Thank you! Thank you!
- Matt Beemish: I'm observing a patient of mine - I might need your help.
- Tom - Cop at Airport: Who is he?
- Matt Beemish: Uh, that blonde fellow with the brown suit, the brown hat.
- Tom - Cop at Airport: Oh, yeah.
- Matt Beemish: He's really quite harmless, but he might create a scene.
- Tom - Cop at Airport: What seems to be his trouble?
- Matt Beemish: He thinks that he's an assistant district attorney. He likes to go around arresting people.
- Tom - Cop at Airport: Oh. Poor guy. You'd think he'd at least wanna be a desk sergeant, wouldn't you?
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Where were you when they finally let me use the telephone around here last night? Where were you?
- Chester Walters: I had not anticipated your winding up in jail. I have a life of my own, you know.
- Judge Margaret Turner: Susan!
- Susan Turner: I do not intend to create a scene.
- Judge Margaret Turner: What are you doing here?
- Susan Turner: You both oughtta be ashamed of yourselves.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Another chair, Alex.
- Susan Turner: I'm too young to be deceived by such treachery.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: What will you have to drink?
- Susan Turner: Lemonade.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Sit down.
- Susan Turner: I don't intend to stay. And some chocolate ice cream
- [to the waiter]
- Judge Margaret Turner: It's getting to be quite a party.
- Richard (Dick) Nugent: Ah, ah, all is not gold that glitters