The Inspector General (1949)

Danny Kaye: Georgi

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Quotes 

• Georgi : Be big, be strong, be firm, says Yakov! But if it doesn't work - whose neck will they jerk? Whose block will they knock off? Not Yakov. Be an Inspector General... What does an Inspector General do, inspect generals? No. An Inspector General generally inspects, that is... they expect him to inspect generally; if they're inspecting an Inspector General. But an exceptionally generous Inspector General who made an exception and had no inspection, would cause suspicion, which in my condition, I couldn't accept... Thank you. However... If people are suspecting, now expect - without detecting, an imposter who's not posted as a pedigreed inspector... could this palpable imposter stay a gypsy, an accoster, could he possibly get past them by his posture? In two words - un-likely. So, it is not a question of, to flee or not to flee, but to be or not to be, and if so... How? Should I be elegant? Should I be arrogant? Should I be smart? A roaring Russian Hussar, or very British empire? Or like the KGB in Nice, who already eats the cheese, while he says, 'No thank you please.' Be smart! I must examine every side of me; the long, the narrow, the wide of me, The Dr. Jekyll and the Hyde of me. If I value my anatomy, the skinny and the fat of me, how shall I start to play the part? Should I be elegant? Arrogant? Or smart?

• Yakov : May I become a wandering gypsy if I'm not telling the truth.

  Georgi : But you ARE a wandering gypsy.

  Yakov : That proves I'm telling the truth.

• Georgi : [singing]  Drink to me only wi-ith thine eye-eyes / And I will drink with my nose!

• Georgi : [singing to himself on how to pull off the scam]  Be arrogant, be elegant, be smart!

• Georgi : [making up code for "arrogance, elegance, and smarts"]  Give 'em the fist, give 'em the wrist, give 'em the finger!

• Georgi : [nervously]  Oh, I have no wife. None of my family had wives. My father didn't like wives. I mean, my mother didn't like my father's wives.

• Georgi : Well, maybe I can't read or write, but I'm not illiterate.

• Georgi : [In his daydream alter-ego, to himself]  If you casually cover up your mouth with your hand, you will never put your foot in it.