Photos
Quotes
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : It's my job to teach these Okinawans democracy. And they're going to learn democracy, if I have to shoot every one of them!
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : You'll need an interpreter...
Captain Fisby : I can study the language.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : No need. We won the war.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Plan B calls for the schoolhouse to be pentagon-shaped.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I'm not the kind of man to take no answer for an answer!
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Sakini!
Sakini : Yes, boss.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : You are a civilian employee in the pay of the United States Army and should dress accordingly. Pull your socks up.
Sakini : Oh, very sorry, boss. Very sorry. Socks up. Anything more, boss?
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : That'll be all. Is that as fast as you can walk?
Sakini : No, no, boss, but to walk any faster, socks fall down.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Everything in the country - conspires to annoy me.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I noticed the men were dancing with each other in the canteen the other night.
Sgt. Gregovich : Yes, sir: No Dancing Allowed.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I didn't say that, Gregovich. I don't object to the men dancing. I want them to enjoy themselves. But it doesn't set a good example for the natives to see noncoms dancing with enlisted men. So, have a sign posted saying: "Sergeants are Forbidden to Dance with Privates."
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : It isn't often I make a mistake. But when I do...
Sgt. Gregovich : It's a beaut?
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I wasn't going to say that. I was gonna say, "By George, I admit it."
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : No wonder you people were subjugated by the Japanese. If you're not sleeping, you're running away from work. Where's your get-up-and-go?
Sakini : Ooh, guess get-up-and-go went, boss.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : What did you do before the war?
Captain Fisby : Oh, I was a - an Associate Professor at Muncie.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : What'd you teach?
Captain Fisby : The Humanities.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Captain, you're finally getting a job you're qualified by training to handle: teaching these natives how to act human.
Captain Fisby : No, I don't think the Humanities are quite that.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : If you can teach one thing, you can teach another.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Send me a bimonthly progress report in triplicate.
Captain Fisby : Yes, sir.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Don't duplicate your work.
Captain Fisby : No. No, sir. No, sir.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I sometimes think we occupation teams have it tougher than combat troops.
Captain Fisby : Oh, now, I wouldn't say that, sir.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Granted, they had it rough for a while. But we have the killing daily grind with no glory in it.
Captain Fisby : Yes, sir, I know what you mean, sir. "Life itself is a battlefield with its own obscure heroes."
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : I consider that poetry, Captain.
Captain Fisby : Oh, no, no, that's - shat's prose, Colonel. And it isn't mine, you know. It's, uh, Victor Hugo.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Oh, yes, Victor Hugo. How I loved "Tale of Two Cites."
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Captain Fisby : I just think that perhaps I just wasn't cut out to be a soldier, that's all.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Captain, none of us was cut out to be a soldier, but we do the job. We adjust, we adapt, we roll with a punch and bring victory home in our teeth.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Do you know what I was before the war?
Captain Fisby : A football coach?
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : How are you getting along with the natives?
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Sgt. Gregovich : [attempting to make a phone call] There's no answer, sir.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : What do you mean there's no answer? Well, keep trying, I'm not the kind of a man to take no answer for an answer.
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Captain Fisby : For heaven's sake, sir, there's nothing that goes on in a teahouse that your own mother couldn't watch.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : You be careful how you use my mother's name, Fisby!
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : What in the name of occupation do mean by saying you built a teahouse instead of a schoolhouse?
Captain Fisby : Lotus Blossom, she had to have a place to teach the - "The Ladies' League" geisha lessons, sir.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : It's a sad thing it took a war to convince me that most of the human race is degenerate.
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : You've sullied the reputation of your nation.
Captain Fisby : All right.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : And all the tears...
Captain Fisby : All right. Shall I kill myself?
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Oh, don't minimize this!
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : That's despicable! Making a personal fortune off the labor of these ignorant people.
Captain Fisby : I haven't touched a cent of this money, Colonel. Now - now, it's all banked in the name of the "Tobiki Cooperative Company". See, everybody in the village, they're all partners, don't you see? You know? You know, share and share alike.
Col. Wainwright Purdy III : That's Communism!
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Col. Wainwright Purdy III : Why can't somebody disobey orders once in a while? What's happened to the American spirit of rebellion?