Too Many Crooks (1959)

Terry-Thomas: Billy Gordon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Billy Gordon : Guten tag.

  Swarthy Man : Bonjour.

  Billy Gordon : Oh! You're French.

  Swarthy Man : No! I am Finnish.

  Billy Gordon : Oh, why do you speak French?

  Swarthy Man : Finnish is too difficult.

• Angela : Tommy and I are engaged.

  Billy Gordon : What? Well, why didn't you tell me before?

  Angela : Well, we couldn't tell you before it happened.

  Billy Gordon : Before what happened?

  Tommy : Uh, before we were engaged, sir.

• Billy Gordon : Did you hear that? A tax inspector. Well, he's out for a start. I never want to see him again.

  Lucy Gordon : Billy, he's a nice young man and she loves him.

  Billy Gordon : Oh, don't be so ridiculous. Nobody loves a tax inspector. They're beyond the pale!

  Lucy Gordon : It's a most honourable profession.

  Billy Gordon : Honourable? Are you kidding?

• Fingers : Don't move, I've got you covered.

  Billy Gordon : What, is that a space gun then?

  Fingers : Huh, oh.

  [He puts the flashlight down and points a gun at Billy] 

  Fingers : One move and I'll shoot you to comdom king.

• Fingers : A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

  Billy Gordon : A nod? What does that mean?

  Fingers : That's an old Latin quotation and it means... is this your old woman's nightie?

  [He pulls out a nightgown and hands it to Billy] 

• Billy Gordon : Thank you, your honor, and believe me...

  Magistrate : I shan't believe you, Mr. Gordon. Go away. I've seen and heard quite enough of you for one day. Next case, please.

  Court Usher : Number 14 on your list, sir... William Delaney Gordon.

  [Billy Gordon make his second of three consecutive appearances before the court] 

• Billy Gordon : [rejecting a ransom demand for his wife]  No, you keep her, old fruit. This is the answer to a bachelor's prayer.