Tue, Jan 5, 1971
A paint company offers to put a fresh coat the Douglas' house to take "before and after" photos. As quickly as they apply the paint, the porous wood absorbs it while making a sucking sound. Haney shows Oliver how to close the house's pores using a pore key, but that causes the house to gasp for breath. In the kitchen, Lisa has been practicing cooking spaghetti for three weeks for Oliver's birthday.
Tue, Jan 12, 1971
The duck shipped to Lisa by her uncle is the son of Drobny, the heroic WWII fowl who saved her life when she was in the Hungarian underground. When the locals learn there's a war hero's son in town, they begin plotting an elaborate celebration in hopes of luring in tourists. As usual, they ignore Oliver's attempts to tell them that their guest of honor is just a duck.
Tue, Jan 19, 1971
Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for their wedding, even though it's just two weeks away. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, is shot down by Darlene. His second scheme comes complete with a household of furniture. Eb signs a contract to have their ceremony on TV in a furniture emporium's window. This time, Darlene's father puts a halt to the idea. To keep from being sued by the store, Lisa and Oliver fill in as bride and groom.
Tue, Feb 9, 1971
The governor declares the state bankrupt, shuts down most services, and raises taxes by 52%. Hothead Oliver demands the locals protest and, after hearing Lisa's story of how her father the king responded to a tax increase, secedes from the union. They blow up the bridge across Simpson's Swamp and anoint Mr. Douglas as King Oliver I. Now in a panic, Governor Carstairs puts on his waders and comes to the kingdom of Hooterville for a summit with his royal highness.
Tue, Feb 23, 1971
Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid it. With Oliver refusing to attend the foolish event, Lisa schemes to get the two together by asking Hank to be her date to the ball. In no time, Hooterville gossips have declared that the Douglas' marriage is on the rocks and Lisa and Hank are flying off Acapulco. Oliver decides the only way to stop the rumors is to attend with Lisa. For his efforts, he comes in third place in the beauty contest.
Tue, Mar 2, 1971
Oliver's really bad day starts when Kimball falls through the dry-rotted front porch and sprains his ankle. After Lisa moves the injured patient into their bedroom to recuperate he blows non-stop on his kazoo whenever he wants something. Ralph Monroe shows up wearing a nurse's uniform from a theater production to care for her "Hankie" and throw herself at him while he can't run away. Self-appointed "attorney" Haney tries to soak Oliver with a $50,000 lawsuit, and local farmers bring their livestock into the bedroom for Kimball's animal clinic. Oliver finally storms out in search of a saloon.
Tue, Mar 9, 1971
Oliver takes a night course in organic farming at the state college while Lisa studies psychology. After just three classes, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa" to analyze their problems and give advice. Despite all of Oliver's bellyaching about her not being a doctor, she's soon "saved the life" of Hank Kimball, Sam Drucker, Arnold the Pig, and a quacking goat with an identity problem.
Tue, Mar 16, 1971
Lisa cons Oliver into taking a fifth honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's groovy daughter has also given her friends the suite. Since the suite has two bedrooms, the two couples simply have to avoid each other. This proves impossible.
Tue, Apr 27, 1971
Oliver contacts Carol, his one-time secretary, to find out where she'd had his watch repaired years earlier. In this pilot for a proposed series, Carol now works for a domineering California realtor. She prevents her boss from being conned by a man that Oliver had tried to indict back in New York.