Watermelon Man (1970)

Howard Caine: Mr. Townsend

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeff Gerber : I'm colored, Mr. Townsend. I'm a Negro.

  Mr. Townsend : Gerber, what the hell have you been doing - sitting under a sunlamp?

  Jeff Gerber : Oh that's the nicest thing you ever said to me, sir.

  Mr. Townsend : Did you get that tan in just the two days you were out?

  Jeff Gerber : Yes, yes I did - uh, the secret is soy sauce - lots and lots of soy sauce.

  Mr. Townsend : Don't you think you overdid it a bit?

  Jeff Gerber : Yes... yes I do, I really do. It - it was a frightening experience.

• Policeman : This man says he works for you.

  Mr. Townsend : Good grief. Gerber, is that you? Uh, yes, officer, he - he works for me.

  Policeman : Very well. I'll leave him in your charge. He stole something. We don't know what it is yet.

  Jeff Gerber : Brutality, brutality.

  Mr. Townsend : You can leave him with me, officer.

• Jeff Gerber : I'm colored, Mr. Townsend. I'm a negro.

  Mr. Townsend : Gerber, what the hell have you been doing? Sitting under a sun lamp?

  Jeff Gerber : Oh, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, sir.

  Mr. Townsend : Did you get that tan in just the two days you were out?

  Jeff Gerber : Yes, yes, I did.

• Mr. Townsend : Gerber, sit down and stop being so damn happy. It's depressing.

• Mr. Townsend : I tell you what, you run back to your office...

  Jeff Gerber : I can't run anywhere. they'll arrest me before i get halfway down the hall.

  Mr. Townsend : Go back to your office and wait there for me, i'll bring the statistics. They'll shock you.

  Jeff Gerber : I'll just shuffle along.

  Mr. Townsend : Uh, give me 15 minutes.

  Jeff Gerber : Oh, you don't have to hurry yourself over little old, poor little me, Mr. Townsend.

• Mr. Townsend : Gerber, w-w-what happened? If i didn't know you myself...

  Jeff Gerber : I'm black. I've become black. You ask anyone on the street, they'll say, "that man, he's black." mmm-hmm, sure, he's black."

  Mr. Townsend : Get hold of yourself.

  Jeff Gerber : Yowser. I'm gonna get a hold of myself. Yowser, boss.

  Mr. Townsend : You know, this could work to both our advantages.

  Jeff Gerber : Boss have heap big sense of humor.

  Mr. Townsend : Stop that foolish vaudeville routine and listen to me a minute. Look, I don't care what color you are. You're an intelligent, educated man and, damn it, Gerber, there is a whole market out there that has never even been approached by our company because we have never had a negro salesman. Why, you can make yourself a fortune. That negro insurance market is virtually untapped.