Graham Chapman: Brother, Policeman, Defence attorney, British pedestrian, Mr. Harrison (Apricot), The Colonel, 'Hell's Grannies' policeman, Jimmy Blankensop, Sir Edward Ross, Restaurant patron #1, Letter Writer, Oliver St. John Mollusk, Mountie, Town Guild Lady
Photos
Quotes
-
Worker 1 : [man falls past window] Did you see that?
Worker 2 : Hmm?
Worker 1 : Somebody just went past that window, downwards!
Worker 2 : Oh.
Worker 1 : [imitating Worker 2] Oh!
[another man falls]
Worker 1 : Another one!
Worker 2 : Hmm?
Worker 1 : Two people have just fallen past that window!
Worker 2 : Oh.
Worker 1 : Look, two people
[another man falls]
Worker 1 : , three people have just fallen past that window!
Worker 2 : Must be a board meeting.
Worker 1 : Oh, yeah.
[another man falls]
Worker 1 : That was Wilkins, of finance.
Worker 2 : No, that was Robertson.
Worker 1 : Wilkins!
Worker 2 : It was Robertson!
Worker 1 : [another man falls] That was Wilkins.
Worker 2 : Oh, yeah.
Worker 1 : Be Parkinson next.
Worker 2 : I bet you it won't.
Worker 1 : How much? How much do you bet it won't? Fiver? Right. Done. You're on. Parkinson next. Come on, Parky!
Worker 2 : Don't be silly, Parky.
Worker 1 : Come on, Parkinson!
Worker 2 : Don't be stupid, man!
Worker 1 : Come on, man, jump!
Voice : [reading a letter] Dear sir, I would like to complain about that last scene about people falling off tall buildings. I myself have worked all my life in such a building,
[resumes writing]
Voice : and... have... never... once... AAHHHH!
[he falls off]
-
Interviewer : I didn't really call you "Eddie Baby", did I, sweetie?
Sir Edward Ross : Don't call me "Sweetie"!
Interviewer : Can I call you "Sugarplum"?
Sir Edward Ross : No!
Interviewer : Pussycat?
Sir Edward Ross : No!
Interviewer : Angel Drawers?
Sir Edward Ross : No, you may not! Now get on with it.
Interviewer : Can I call you Frank?
Sir Edward Ross : Why Frank?
Interviewer : Frank's a nice name. President Nixon's got a hedgehog called Frank.
Sir Edward Ross : What is going on?
Interviewer : Frank, Frankie, Fran, Frannie... little Frannie boo...
-
Restaurant patron #1 : Lucky I didn't tell them about the dirty knife.
-
[a vicar is attacked by keep-left signs]
Sergeant-Major : Right! Stop that! It's SILLY. Very SILLY indeed! Started off as a nice little idea about old ladies attacking young men, but now it's just got SILLY! His hair's too long for a vicar, too, and you can tell those are not proper keep-left signs! CLEAR OUT, THE LOT OF YOU!
[the vicar and the keep-left signs depart]
-
Sergeant-Major : Squad... CAMP it UP!
[soldiers all chant in unison while mincing about]
Soldiers : Ooh get her! Whoops, I've got your number ducky, you couldn't afford me dear, two three. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Two, three, one, two, three, four, five, six. Whoops! Don't look now girls, the man has just minced in with that jolly colour Sergeant, two three. OOOOH!
Sergeant-Major : [walks on] Right now! Stop that! Silly. And a bit suspect, I think. Time for a cartoon.
-
Sergeant-Major : Now, I would just like to point out that this film is displaying a distinct tendency to become SILLY. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do... except, perhaps my wife... and some of her friends. Oh, yes, and Captain Johnson. Come to think of it, most people like a good laugh more than I do, but that's beside the point! I'm warning this film NOT to get SILLY again! Right!
-
Sergeant-Major : Now, Director, when I say "Cut", cut to the next sketch. Director...
Announcer : [speaking over start of a new sketch; camera pans across city view] This is a frightened city...
Sergeant-Major : [interrupting] Wait for it!
[camera snaps back to starting position and cut to the Major]
Sergeant-Major : Director, Cut!
Announcer : [sketch starts again] This is a frightened city...
