Columbo (TV Series)

Dead Weight (1971)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maj. Gen. Martin Hollister : You know, Lieutenant, I don't see how a man, with the name of Columbo... shouldn't he be more at home on a boat?

  Lt. Columbo : Must've been another branch of the family, sir. How soon before we land?

• Lt. Columbo : Look, in order to understand a man, you have to understand his past.

• Lt. Columbo : I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, sir, but we have this report, uh, about this shooting.

  Maj. Gen. Martin Hollister : A shooting?

  Lt. Columbo : Yes, sir. In this house.

  Maj. Gen. Martin Hollister : That's quite an opening line, Lieutenant.

• Helen Stewart : With all the men in the world, I always seem to pick Mr. Wrong. Uh, I am seriously considering locking myself in the closet for the rest of my life.

  Lt. Columbo : No, that's wrong. That's just the way my niece, Marilyn, felt after her divorce. Now she's got a new husband. As a matter of fact, he's a cop... and they got six kids.

  Helen Stewart : Oh, Lieutenant, I mean just between us, would you tell me the truth? Do you really have a niece?

  Lt. Columbo : Well what kind of a question is that, do I really have a niece!

  Helen Stewart : Well do you?

  Lt. Columbo : Of course I've got a niece. My wife's sisters girl, Cynthia.

• Lt. Columbo : All right, I'm gonna go in and speak to the general, and while I'm doing that I want you to search the yacht.

  Officer Sanchez : Uh, but, Lieutenant, I don't have a warrant.

  Lt. Columbo : Well, I'll ask the general for permission. If he doesn't give it, then I'll get a warrant. In the meantime, check it out.

• Helen Stewart : I mean, am I so uninteresting that he couldn't be interested in me for myself?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh, no. No, no. No, I didn't mean that at all. You're a very individual person.

• Lt. Columbo : [looking at the general's decorations on his uniform]  General, that's a lot of fruit salad.

• Helen Stewart : With all the men in the world, I always seem to pick Mr. Wrong. Uh, I am seriously considering locking myself in a closet for the rest of my life.

  Lt. Columbo : No, that's wrong. That's just the way my niece, Marilyn, felt after her divorce. Now she's got a new husband. As a matter of fact, he's a cop... and they got six kids.

  Helen Stewart : Oh, Lieutenant, I mean just between us, would you tell me the truth? Do you really have a niece?

  Lt. Columbo : Well what kind of a question is that, do I really have a niece!

  Helen Stewart : Well do you?

  Lt. Columbo : Of course I've got a niece. My wife's sisters girl, Cynthia.