Columbo (TV Series)

Dead Weight (1971)

Suzanne Pleshette: Helen Stewart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Helen Stewart : Some men, Lieutenant, do not wanna look like an unmade bed!

• Mrs. Walters : Your pot's overcooking.

  Helen Stewart : That is not a pot! It's a crock!

• Helen Stewart : With all the men in the world, I always seem to pick Mr. Wrong. Uh, I am seriously considering locking myself in the closet for the rest of my life.

  Lt. Columbo : No, that's wrong. That's just the way my niece, Marilyn, felt after her divorce. Now she's got a new husband. As a matter of fact, he's a cop... and they got six kids.

  Helen Stewart : Oh, Lieutenant, I mean just between us, would you tell me the truth? Do you really have a niece?

  Lt. Columbo : Well what kind of a question is that, do I really have a niece!

  Helen Stewart : Well do you?

  Lt. Columbo : Of course I've got a niece. My wife's sisters girl, Cynthia.

• Helen Stewart : I mean, am I so uninteresting that he couldn't be interested in me for myself?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh, no. No, no. No, I didn't mean that at all. You're a very individual person.

• Maj. Gen. Martin Hollister : You don't recognize me?

  Helen Stewart : Well, no. Should I?

  Maj. Gen. Martin Hollister : You said that you saw me... shoot somebody today. No, no, you have nothing to fear from me, Mrs. Stewart, but if you'll watch the late news tonight, I'm sure you'll agree that, uh, you've miscast me... as a murderer.

• Helen Stewart : Well, y'see, I try and go beyond the surface, y'know? To find a deeper meaning, a truer reality... At least, that's what I think I do.

• Helen Stewart : With all the men in the world, I always seem to pick Mr. Wrong. Uh, I am seriously considering locking myself in a closet for the rest of my life.

  Lt. Columbo : No, that's wrong. That's just the way my niece, Marilyn, felt after her divorce. Now she's got a new husband. As a matter of fact, he's a cop... and they got six kids.

  Helen Stewart : Oh, Lieutenant, I mean just between us, would you tell me the truth? Do you really have a niece?

  Lt. Columbo : Well what kind of a question is that, do I really have a niece!

  Helen Stewart : Well do you?

  Lt. Columbo : Of course I've got a niece. My wife's sisters girl, Cynthia.