Columbo (TV Series)

Dagger of the Mind (1972)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Durk takes Columbo to his men's club for tea and a bite to eat. A server appears with a cart of food] 

  Columbo : When you said tea, I was afraid we were going to get nothing but those tiny sandwiches. This is terrific.

  George, Steward at Supt. Durk's Club : Why do you think we keep the ladies out, sir?

  [Columbo is nonplussed] 

• Lillian Stanhope : You are a reporter?

  Columbo : Oh, no, ma'am, no. Oh, no, I'm terribly sorry. No, my name is Columbo. I'm just a visiting fireman.

• Det. Chief Supt. William Durk : Uh, the lieutenant's here from Los Angeles for a few days. He's observing our latest techniques at the Yard.

  Tanner : How interesting. Let's hope some of it "rubs off," as they say.

  Columbo : Oh, thank you very much. I certainly hope so.

• Columbo : There HAS to be an explanation.

  Det. Chief Supt. William Durk : Oh, come, come, come, come. Don't be so distressed. At least it's been amusing chasing an American wild goose for a change, eh?

• Columbo : [hearing Big Ben chime and checking his watch]  Boy, that's terrific. Thing that old, it's only a minute slow.

  Det. Chief Supt. William Durk : Really. We must put another penny on the governor.

• Columbo : You mean that's it?

  Det. Sgt. O'Keefe : I expect you've seen pictures of the New Scotland Yard, Lieutenant.

  Columbo : That looks pretty new to me.

  Det. Sgt. O'Keefe : The New Scotland Yard was the old headquarters. Uh, but it wasn't old Scotland Yard. No, no. It was New Scotland Yard, but, um...

• Columbo : You see, back home, we call this the spine of the book, and you know you can break that thing by putting it down upside-down like that. Of course, I never knew that until I did it to my mother-in-law's cookbook. She almost hit me with a frying pan.

• Columbo : When you said "club," I thought you meant a country club or a health club.

  Det. Chief Supt. William Durk : Mm. Bit stuffy, I'm afraid. Hasn't changed since Father's day.

  Columbo : My father was an Elk once, till my mother stopped him.

• Columbo : Well, whatever it is, it sure must be most unusual. Uh, the reason I say that is because, you know, when my wife and I try to remember... what happened yesterday or the day before, well, we don't agree on anything. And you two, you not only agree, you use almost the exact same words to tell about it.

• Lillian Stanhope : You're beginning to look exactly like a Londoner.

  Columbo : Oh, you mean this. No, no, ma'am. I just bought this. You see, ever since I've been in London, I've been thinkin' and thinkin', what would be the best souvenir to bring back to Los Angeles?

  Nicholas Frame : I thought you'd be on your way home by now.

  Columbo : Right. But I sort of missed the plane. Anyway, it suddenly struck me... an umbrella.

• Columbo : Gee, Mr. Frame, I'm always getting you angry. I'm sorry about that. It must be my accent or something.

• Columbo : Do you mind if I come in?

  Tanner : It seems to me you are in.

• Constable : Mr. Tanner, he was properly disturbed finding the master expired, and before breakfast and all; so, I stayed around to help see to the removal of the remains. Uh, just took His Lordship off, they did, to... to have him properly coffined for public mourning, uh, considering his station.

  Columbo : What is he saying?

  Det. Chief Supt. William Durk : His Lordship died... of some sort of accident.