Columbo (TV Series)
Lady in Waiting (1971)
Peter Falk: Columbo
Photos
Quotes
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Peter Hamilton : Now, Lieutenant, you don't really think that Beth killed her brother in cold blood, now do you?
Columbo : Well, as a matter of fact... I do.
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Columbo : Uh, my name is Columbo, ma'am. I'm a, uh... lieutenant, uh, from the police.
[shows badge then puts it away]
Mrs. Chadwick : Dah, just a minute. Not so quickly. I'd like to look that over.
[examines his I.D. then him]
Mrs. Chadwick : Well, I must say, you hardly look the role.
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Columbo : This is a terrible thing to admit, but, uh... I think that, in a way, her brother's death is the best thing that ever happened to her.
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Columbo : You see, I come from a very big family, and at dinner time... it was like, well you know, Madison Square Garden, and... we used to patch it up with coffee.
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Columbo : Just one more thing.
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Columbo : I saw your new car, by the way. Oh, that's some automobile.
Beth Chadwick : Thank you.
Columbo : Really beautiful. Beautiful. I suppose you have to order those things weeks in advance, don't you?
Beth Chadwick : Yes, that's right.
Columbo : Yeah, that's right. Boy. Real change of pace for you, isn't it?
Beth Chadwick : Well, I felt like something racy, as they say in advertising. A new image.
Columbo : Yeah. Well y'now, I can understand that... I'm sorry... because it's a natural thing I think, after a death in the family... to want to break loose.
Beth Chadwick : That's one way of putting it.
Columbo : Gee, that's funny though.
Beth Chadwick : What?
Columbo : If you had to order the car some time ago...... that would mean you knew in advance you were going to change your style.
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Columbo : You see, according to your story, you were asleep at night... the alarm woke you up, you reached for a gun... and you shot what you thought was a burglar.
Beth Chadwick : Which is exactly what happened.
Columbo : Couldn't be. Because Mr. Hamilton, who was driving up outside... at the time, he heard both the shots and alarm.
Beth Chadwick : Of course he did. What difference does that make?
Columbo : Oh, big difference. He heard the shots first, then the alarm. That's the cart before the horse. I mean, how could the alarm wake you if the shots came first?
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Columbo : Besides, you're too classy a woman.
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Peter Hamilton : ...I won't be a hypocrite, Lieutenant. I'm sorry about poor Bryce being killed, but it has gotten Beth out from under his thumb.
Columbo : Oh, yeah, yeah... Way out! Huh?
[He gestures with his hands]
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Columbo : Can I tell you about my wife? You see, my wife she has a proverb for every situation.
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Columbo : Morning, Mr. Hamilton.
Peter Hamilton : Oh, Lieutenant.
Columbo : You remember me?
Peter Hamilton : Yes, I've got a very good memory.
Columbo : I tell you, I envy you that. I got to the point where I can't... remember my telephone number.
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Columbo : You and Mrs. Chadwick, are you going to be married?
Peter Hamilton : You don't believe in preliminaries, do you?
Columbo : Well y'now sometimes, you just...
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Columbo : It's just that I have this bug about tying up loose ends.
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Columbo : I think we have a personality conflict.
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Peter Hamilton : Lieutenant, why are you hounding Beth?
Columbo : Hounding? Who me? Oh no, I'm not hounding anybody. Oh no. No. No, what I'm trying to do is get to the bottom of this thing.
Peter Hamilton : Y'now Lieutenant, I like you. I really do. But you are devious.
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Beth Chadwick : I'm warning you. No more questions.
Columbo : I wasn't going to ask a question, ma'am. I just wanted to return your bulb.
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Columbo : That's a tough little monkey you got there.
Mrs. Chadwick : Enrico is not a monkey. He's a pedigreed silky.
Columbo : Oh, I can see that, ma'am. It's just a figure of speech.
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Columbo : I couldn't sleep last night. There were a couple of points that... were bothering me so I thought I'd come over here and clear 'em up.
Beth Chadwick : What kind of points?
Columbo : That newspaper.
Beth Chadwick : Newspaper?
Columbo : Uh, yes. The one that I noticed on the table in the foyer. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I hear you say that you... were home all day yesterday?
Beth Chadwick : That's right.
Columbo : See that's what puzzles me. How did that newspaper get there?
Beth Chadwick : Haven't you ever heard of home delivery?
Columbo : Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have a newspaper delivered to my house every morning.
Beth Chadwick : There's your answer.
Columbo : No. No, that won't answer it. No. No, the newspaper on the foyer table, that was a late edition. I mean, I even saw racetrack results in it.
Beth Chadwick : I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
Columbo : Well, if you were home all day who brought home the newspaper?
Beth Chadwick : Well, Bryce must have brought it home.
Columbo : Yes, but Bryce came in through your room, he didn't come in through... the front door. I mean, he was shot on that side of the house. How did that newspaper get to the other end of the house?
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Columbo : Now, you figured that your brother had to walk around... the side of the house like this. Is that right?
Beth Chadwick : I figure it. And so did the coroner's jury.
Columbo : Right. Now you see you had to walk on grass.
Beth Chadwick : Is there some point to this?
Columbo : Yes, ma'am, there is. You see, now this grass is kind of dry because the sun's been out. Uh, well, today's Thursday. And the gardener cuts the grass on Thursday. Excuse me a minute. You see? Grass.
Beth Chadwick : Yes. Well, that's only natural.
Columbo : It certainly is. But you know there was no grass on your brother's shoe?
Beth Chadwick : I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
Columbo : Your brother was shot a week ago. On Thursday. And I looked at the... photographs of the body, I even had them blown up... and for the life of me, I just couldn't see any grass... on the soles of his shoe. And I couldn't figure that out. Why? It was freshly cut... and it was sticky because it was at night and there was dew.
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Columbo : When I was over at your house there the other day... and I was climbing up and down that ladder... I tell you, I had a thought, something else occurred to me... that's been keeping me awake at night.
Beth Chadwick : Oh. What might that be?
Columbo : Well, I was wondering about that burned out bulb... in front of your house. And I went over there this morning to take a look at it. And...
Beth Chadwick : You brought it with you!
Columbo : Oh yeah. I didn't think you'd mind.
Beth Chadwick : No.
Columbo : This is a hundred watt bulb. Hundred watt? Got a life 750-800 hours. Now, if your house is anything like... my house then you'll burn the outside light 8-10 hours a day. So that means it would last two, two and a half months. Is that right?
Beth Chadwick : I'll concede to your knowledge. I don't know.
Columbo : Thank you very much. Uh, now this is what I got to thinking. I hate to change bulbs outside my house... because no matter how tight I get that up in the lamp... you see, they attract a lot of dirt and goop and they're full of... dead bugs and I just don't even like to go up there and touch them.
Beth Chadwick : Would you get to the point?
Columbo : Uh, why is that bulb dirt and dust free? That bulb is clean as a whistle. Now I think that's kind of strange, don't you? Hanging there long enough to burn out, but not hanging there long enough to get dirty.
Beth Chadwick : We're a fastidious family. If the bulb is clean it's because servants cleaned it.
Columbo : They cleaned a burned out bulb?
Beth Chadwick : They work in the daytime. So how would they know?
