Porridge (1974–1977)

Sam Kelly: Warren

Photos 

Quotes 

• Warren : I've got this letter, like.

  Fletch : From a woman, it looks like, and, judging by the handwriting and stationery, a woman of low standards.

  Warren : That's right! It's from the wife!

• Warren : Fletch...

  Fletch : I'm thinking, naff off!

  Warren : Thinking?

  Fletch : Yes. I know that to some of you nurks in here, it's an alien pastime, but those of us endowed with a bit of grey matter where it matters, namely up here, preserve our identity and our sanity in this nick by thinking!

  Warren : But what are you thinking?

  Fletch : At the moment, I'm thinking why doesn't this bloke Warren naff off and leave me alone!

• Fletch : Advice to the lovelorn, you want, is it, Warren? Compose an appropriate reply?

  Warren : No, it's simpler than that, Fletch. I just want you to read it to me.

• [Fletch is about to hit Jarvis with the television] 

  Mackay : What are you doing, Fletcher?

  Fletch : Just adjusting the television, Mr Mackay!

  Mackay : With the set above your head?

  Fletch : Yes, it's the vertical hold!

  Warren : Look! We've got a picture!