Columbo (TV Series)

A Friend in Deed (1974)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Quotes 

• Columbo : You must have a lot of those, sir.

  Mark Halperin : What?

  Columbo : Gut feelings.

  Mark Halperin : What're you talking about?

  Columbo : Well, you had a gut feeling last night.

  Mark Halperin : I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean "last night?"

  Columbo : When you asked for me to report to the Caldwell house.

  Mark Halperin : Yes?

  Columbo : I found out that you asked for me when you first called in.

  Mark Halperin : I did.

  Columbo : What I mean, sir, is that the burglar had never harmed anybody before, yet from your bedroom window, when you called in, you asked for me. No, I was just trying to figure out how you knew that the woman was already dead.

• Columbo : No, sir, we're looking for somebody else. We're looking for somebody... somebody who tried to make a murder look like a burglary.

• Columbo : Commisioner, I believe you killed your wife, and I believe you either killed Janice Caldwell or you're covering up for it.

  Mark Halperin : You just lost your badge, my friend.

• Columbo : Let me ask you something... how do you figure this guy? I mean, to me; a burglar is like a hungry alley cat. He sneaks around after dark, but if he hears something, he runs.

  Lt. Duffy : Haven't you ever heard of Future Shock? The world's going to hell with itself! Believe me Columbo, times have changed.

• Mark Halperin : We found Mrs. Caldwell's jewels here in your apartment.

  [Jessup snorts] 

  Mark Halperin : They were right under your mattress!

  Artie Jessup : Hey man, I don't even live here!

  Columbo : That's true, sir, I can attest to that.

  [opens dresser drawers] 

  Columbo : He doesn't live here, *I* live here. These are my shirts, this is my underwear,

  [takes out photographs] 

  Columbo : *my* brother-in-law, *my* nephew and niece.

• Columbo : Mrs. Fernandez dusted the whole house - wax, polish, everything - including the bedroom. Now, the fingerprint people, they checked the handle on the closet door. Your wife's prints weren't on it. What I can't figure out is: How did she open the door and take out the nightgown without leaving any prints?

• Columbo : I, uh, I looked at her body, and right away I saw on her finger the biggest diamond ring I ever saw in my life. Now, I gotta ask myself this question: What kind of burglar robs a house and leaves a ring like that on the victim's finger?

• Columbo : Does that mean that you couldn't tell if this woman drowned, say, in a bath tub?

  Dr. MacMurray : Sure, if the bath tub were full of gin.

• Columbo : Ya like Scotch?

  Artie Jessup : She wishes.

  Columbo : [to bartender]  Give 'im some Scotch.