The Return of the Pink Panther (1975)

Herbert Lom: Chief Insp. Charles Dreyfus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dreyfus : [after Clouseau has demolished two trucks and a swimming pool in Nice]  Now he's off to Gstaad. Today, a paradise in the Swiss Alps - tomorrow, a wasteland.

  [rolls his eyes and lets out a deep breath] 

  Dreyfus : Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross volunteer!

• Clouseau : [on the phone]  Who is that speaking?

  Dreyfus : Don't you know? Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue. This is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried.

  Clouseau : Are you the head waiter that works at the little bistro on the Rue de Brossard?

  Dreyfus : No! This is Chief Inspector Dreyfus! Idiot!

• [after an incident involving a blind beggar] 

  Dreyfus : The beggar was the lookout man for the gang.

  Clouseau : That is impossible.

  Dreyfus : Why?

  Clouseau : He was blind. How can a blind man be a lookout?

  Dreyfus : [Insinuating Clouseau]  How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!

  Clouseau : It's very simple, all he has to do is enlist...

  Dreyfus : Shut up!

• Dreyfus : [after Clouseau's fiasco with the bank robbers]  ... You are suspended for six months, without pay, effective immediately! Have you anything to say?

  Inspector Jacques Clouseau : ...Could you lend me fifty francs?

• Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [in Dreyfus' office, after Clouseau's apartment has been bombed]  I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! It is amazing that I am still alive!

  Dreyfus : [forcing himself not to giggle]  "Amazing" is not the word.

  Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?

  Dreyfus : YES! I wish you were DEAD!

  Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.

• Dreyfus : [Offscreen, Dreyfus accidentally fires a gun that he thought did not work. Francois rushes into Dreyfus's office to see what has happened]  Don't just stand there, idiot. Call a doctor. And then help me find my nose.

• Doctor : Describe your thoughts. Get them out in the open. You'll feel much better.

  Dreyfus : All right. See, it's always the same. Clouseau is sitting there, in a chair, just like you, with his back to me. Then suddenly, my hands go round his throat, and I begin to squeeze. It's wonderful. It's marvelous. I'm squeezing. And the more I squeeze, the freer I feel. I'm in ecstasy. And then suddenly, suddenly my problem is solv-ved.

  [while Dreyfus has been talking, he has been unintentionally strangling the doctor. He suddenly becomes aware of this as the doctor falls to the floor] 

  Dreyfus : Doctor! DOCTOR!

• Doctor : [referring to Clousseau]  How much do you hate him?

  Dreyfus : How high is up? I hate every little molecule in his body!

• Dreyfus : If she's not in your custody within five minutes, you'll be checking parking meters in Martinique!

• Clouseau : Allow me to blot you.

  Dreyfus : Idiot!

  Clouseau : I will blot you. I had an aunt who suffered from high blood pressure. She was attended successfully by Dr. August Balls of Nice.

• Clouseau : [on the phone]  What is your code name?

  Dreyfus : Code name, huh? Code name? I don't have a code name. I never had a code name, lunatic!

  Clouseau : I understand that, sir, but only the *real* Inspector Dreyfus would know that he did not have a code name.