The Three Musketeers (1973)

Spike Milligan: M. Bonacieux

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cardinal Richelieu : Who is the man that accuses you?

  Bonacieux : [Rochefort enters and Bonacieux points at him]  That! That is the man!

  Count Rochefort : Take him away.

  Bonacieux : That is *not* the man!

• M. Bonancieux : [his hands are being chained behind him before being tortured]  It hurts!

  Torturer : It's *supposed* to hurt!

• M. Bonancieux : [refusing to help his wife deliver a letter to Buckingham]  Well, I tell you, I don't *want* to go to the Bastille! Because it's got very deep dungeons and terrible instruments of torture operated by very unsympathetic men! And they snip very important parts off people!

• Rochefort : This d'Artagnan... he lodges with you, does he not? We will find Monsieur d'Artagnan a suitable lodging in the Bastille for the time being.

  M. Bonancieux : And afterwards?

  Rochefort : [coldly]  In the Bastille, there is no afterwards.

• Bonacieux : I think you'll like it here, Monsieur. For only two francs a day, this chamber, most s'enormous and scrupulously clean, as you can observe. The slop is emptied every second day, hey! And laundry done at a modest fee. Aha! Your rascal can sleep out there and when Monsieur beats him for insolence, the screams will scarce be heard. Oh, no, Monsieur, they don't fall off trees, chambers like these In Paris.

• Bonacieux : [referring to the chamber d'Artagnan wants to rent]  You'll take it?

  D'Artagnan : [staring at Bonacieux's buxom wife Constance]  Whenever it's... offered.