Columbo (TV Series)
Identity Crisis (1975)
Peter Falk: Columbo
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Columbo : What do you have to do to win one of them things?
Shooting gallery attendant : Knock down the ducks ten out of ten.
Lt. Columbo : Yeah, my wife would go for that.
Shooting gallery attendant : Oh, no, sir, Lieutenant. Hey... hey, you're a pro.
Lt. Columbo : Aw, forget about it. If I'm standing on the dock, I couldn't hit the water.
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Lt. Columbo : Uh, just between us, sir...
Nelson Brenner : Mm-hm?
Lt. Columbo : ...somebody's following me.
Nelson Brenner : Now who would be following a cop?
Lt. Columbo : Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Can't be the collection company. The car's paid for.
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Nelson Brenner : Do you like music?
Lt. Columbo : Well, I hear it all the time.
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Lt. Columbo : Do you have any wine?
Nelson Brenner : A cellar-full!
Lt. Columbo : Just a glass.
Nelson Brenner : What kind would you like?
Lt. Columbo : [after deliberating] Oh, red.
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Gas Station Attendant : Want me to wipe your windshield, sir?
Lt. Columbo : No, that's all right. Don't bother. I can see through it.
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Lt. Columbo : You told a lot of lies, sir. Course, most of 'em can be explained in your capacity as a spy, but not the big one.
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[last lines]
Lt. Columbo : Would you like to hear something funny?
Nelson Brenner : I'd love to.
Lt. Columbo : Today, the Chinese, they changed their minds.
Nelson Brenner : Did they, again?
Lt. Columbo : They're back in the Games.
Nelson Brenner : In the Games. Mahjong.
Lt. Columbo : Mahjong.
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Lt. Columbo : You have my house bugged.
Nelson Brenner : I know.
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Lt. Columbo : What strikes you about this photograph sir?
Nelson Brenner : I was younger and more beautiful then.
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Lt. Columbo : Do you like to gamble, sir?
Nelson Brenner : What else is there?
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Lt. Columbo : Who is that behind the fat lady?