Annie Hall (1977)

Diane Keaton: Annie Hall, voice of Evil Queen

Photos 

30 more photos

Quotes 

• [In California] 

  Annie Hall : It's so clean out here.

  Alvy Singer : That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

• Alvy Singer : Hey listen, gimme a kiss.

  Annie Hall : Really?

  Alvy Singer : Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat. We'll digest our food better.

• [Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen] 

  Alvy Singer's Therapist : How often do you sleep together?

  Annie Hall's Therapist : Do you have sex often?

  Alvy Singer : [lamenting]  Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.

  Annie Hall : [annoyed]  Constantly. I'd say three times a week.

• [Alvy confronts Annie about having an affair] 

  Alvy Singer : Well, I didn't start out spying. I thought I'd surprise you. Pick you up after school.

  Annie Hall : Yeah, but you wanted to keep the relationship flexible. Remember, it's your phrase.

  Alvy Singer : Oh stop it, you're having an affair with your college professor, that jerk that teaches that incredible crap course, Contemporary Crisis in Western Man...

  Annie Hall : Existential Motifs in Russian Literature. You're really close.

  Alvy Singer : What's the difference? It's all mental masturbation.

  Annie Hall : Oh, well, now we're finally getting to a subject you know something about.

  Alvy Singer : Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

  Annie Hall : We're not having an affair. He's married. He just happens to think I'm neat.

  Alvy Singer : "Neat." What are you, 12 years old? That's one of your Chippewa Falls expressions.

  Annie Hall : Who cares? Who cares?

  Alvy Singer : Next thing you know, he'll find you keen and peachy, you know. Next thing you know, he's got his hand on your ass.

  Annie Hall : You've always had hostility towards David, ever since I mentioned him.

  Alvy Singer : Dav - you call your teacher David?

  Annie Hall : It's his name.

  Alvy Singer : It's a Biblical name, right? What does he call you, Bathsheba?

• Alvy Singer : I'm sorry, I - I can't, I - I - I've gotta see a picture exactly from the start to the finish, 'cause -'cause I'm anal.

  Annie Hall : [laughs]  That's a polite word for what you are.

• Annie Hall : Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture.

  Alvy Singer : You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.

• Annie Hall : So I told her about, about the family and about my feelings towards men and about my relationship with my brother. And then she mentioned penis envy. Do you know about that?

  Alvy Singer : Me? I'm, I'm one of the few males who suffers from that.

• [Annie wants to smoke marijuana before sex] 

  Alvy Singer : Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday.

  Annie Hall : Well, have you ever made love high?

  Alvy Singer : Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass or alcohol or anything, I get unbearably wonderful. I get too, too wonderful for words. I don't know why you have to get high every time we make love.

  Annie Hall : It relaxes me.

  Alvy Singer : You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?

  Annie Hall : Well, what's the difference anyway?

  Alvy Singer : Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium pentathol. You can sleep through it.

  Annie Hall : Oh come on. Look who's talking. You've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years. You should smoke some of this. You'd be off the couch in no time.

• [Alvy is asked to try cocaine] 

  Alvy Singer : I don't want to put a wad of white powder in my nose. There's the nasal membrane...

  Annie Hall : You never want to try anything new, Alvy.

  Alvy Singer : How can you say that? Whose idea was it? I said that you, I and that girl from your acting class should sleep together in a threesome.

  Annie Hall : Well, that's sick.

  Alvy Singer : Yeah, I know it's sick, but it's new. You didn't say it couldn't be sick.

• Alvy Singer : You - you play very well.

  Annie Hall : Oh, yeah? So do you! Oh, God, whatta - whatta dumb thing to say, right? I mean, you say it, "You play well," and then right away I have to say "you play well". Oh, oh, God, Annie. Well, oh well, la-de-da, la-de-da, la-la. Yeah.

• Annie Hall : Oh, you see an analyst?

  Alvy Singer : Yeah, just for fifteen years.

  Annie Hall : Fifteen years?

  Alvy Singer : Yeah, I'm gonna give him one more year, and then I'm goin' to Lourdes.

• Annie Hall : Alvy, you're incapable of enjoying life, you know that? I mean you're like New York City. You're just this person. You're like this island unto yourself.

  Alvy Singer : I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

• Annie Hall : You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew.

  Alvy Singer : Oh. Thank you.

  Annie Hall : Yeah, well, you - she hates Jews. She thinks that they just make money, but let me tell you, I mean, she's the one, yeah, is she ever. I'm tellin' you.

• Annie Hall : [after having sex for the first time with Alvy]  Mmm, mmm, that was so nice. That was nice.

  Alvy Singer : As Balzac said, "There goes another novel."

• Alvy Singer : You're extremely sexy. Because you are polymorphously perverse.

  Annie Hall : What does that mean?

  Alvy Singer : You're exceptional in bed because you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch it. Like when I touch your nose or stroke your teeth or your kneecaps, you certainly get excited.

  Annie Hall : You know what? I like you, I really do.

• [Alvy is having sex with Annie] 

  Alvy Singer : Hey, is something wrong?

  Annie Hall : No, why?

  Alvy Singer : I don't know. It's like you're removed.

  [a ghost of Annie rises from herself, and sits in a chair to watch] 

  Annie Hall : No, I'm fine.

  Alvy Singer : Are you with me?

  Annie Hall : Uh, huh.

  Alvy Singer : I don't know. You seem sort of distant.

  Annie Hall : Let's just do it, all right?

  Alvy Singer : Is it my imagination, or are you just going through the motions?

  Ghost of Annie Hall : Alvy, do you remember where I put my drawing pad? Because while you two are doing that, I think I'm going to do some drawing.

  Alvy Singer : [gesturing to the ghost]  You see, that's what I call removed.

• Annie Hall : You're seeing an analyst?

  Alvy Singer : Just for 15 years. I'm giving him one more year and then I'm going to Lourdes.

• Alvy Singer : [arrives in a cab]  Jesus, what'd you do, come by way of the Panama Canal?

  Annie Hall : It's alright. I'm in a bad mood, okay?

  Alvy Singer : Bad mood? I'm standing with the cast of "The Godfather."

• Alvy Singer : What are you depressed about?

  Annie Hall : I missed my therapy, I overslept.

  Alvy Singer : How can you possibly oversleep?

  Annie Hall : The alarm clock.

  Alvy Singer : You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?

• Annie Hall : [Annie Hall referring to a box of pin badges]  I guess these are all yours, impeach ''Eisenhower'', impeach ''Nixon'', impeach ''Lyndon Johnson'', impeach Ronald Reagan''.

• Alvy Singer : [to the waitress]  I'll have corned beef, please.

  Annie Hall : [to the waitress]  I'm gonna have pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise, tomatoes and lettuce.

• Alvy Singer : I haven't been myself since I quit smoking

  Annie Hall : oh when was that?

  Alvy Singer : 16 years ago

• Annie Hall : [offering joint to Alvy]  Here, you want some?

  Alvy Singer : No. I don't use any major hallucinogenics. I took a puff about five years ago at a party... I tried to take my pants off over my head.

• Alvy Singer : You know what a hostile gesture that is to me?

  Annie Hall : I know, because of our sexual problem, right?

  Alvy Singer : Everybody on line at the New Yorker has to know our rate of intercourse?

• Man in Theatre Line : [talking to his date, standing in line behind Alvy and Annie]  We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday. It is *not* one of his best. It lacks a cohesive structure. You know, you get the feeling that he's not absolutely sure what it is he wants to say. Of course, I've always felt he was essentially a - a technical film maker. Granted, "La Strada" was a great film. Great in its use of negative energy more than anything else. But that simple cohesive core...

  Alvy Singer : [to Annie]  I can't stand this guy. I'm gonna have a stroke.

  Annie Hall : Well, stop listening to him.

  Man in Theatre Line : [keeps talking to his date]  You know, it must need to have had its leading from one thought to another.

  Alvy Singer : [to Annie]  He's screaming his opinions in my ear.

  Man in Theatre Line : [keeps talking to his date]  You know what I'm talking about? Like all that "Juliet of the Spirits" or "Satyricon", I found it incredibly - *indulgent*. You know, he really is. He's one of the most *indulgent* film makers. He really is.

  Alvy Singer : [to Annie]  Key word here is "indulgent."

• Alvy Singer : Let's go see "The Sorrow and the Pity".

  Annie Hall : Oh, come on, we've seen it. I'm not in the mood to see a four-hour documentary on Nazis!

• Alvy Singer : Has the picture started yet?

  Ticket Seller at Theatre : It started two minutes ago.

  Alvy Singer : That's it! Forget it! I - I can't go in.

  Annie Hall : Two minutes, Alvy.

  Alvy Singer : No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. We - we've blown it already. I - you know, uh, I - I can't go in in the middle.

  Annie Hall : In the middle? We'll only miss the titles. They're in Swedish.

• Alvy Singer : Whatta you mean, our sexual problem? I - I mean, I'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.

  Annie Hall : Okay, I'm very sorry. My sexual problem!

  [loudly] 

  Annie Hall : Okay, my sexual problem! Huh?

  [man standing in front of Alvy and Annie turns around and looks at them] 

  Alvy Singer : I never read that. That was - that was Henry James, right? Novel, uh, the sequel to "Turn of the Screw"?

• Alvy Singer : I think you're pretty lucky I came along.

  Annie Hall : Oh, really? Well, la-de-da!

  Alvy Singer : La-de-da. If I - if anyone had ever told me that I would be taking out a girl who used expressions like "la-de-da".

• Annie Hall : This tie is a present from Grammy Hall.

  Alvy Singer : Who? Grammy? Grammy Halls?

  Annie Hall : Yeah, my Grammy.

  Alvy Singer : What? You're kidding. What did you do, grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting?

• Alvy Singer : Hey, what is this? You got black soap?

  Annie Hall : It's for my complexion.

  Alvy Singer : Whatta - whatta you joining a minstrel show?

• Annie Hall : What's so great about New York? I mean, it's a dying city. You read "Death in Venice."

  Alvy Singer : Hey, you didn't read "Death in Venice" till I bought it for you.

  Annie Hall : That's right, that's right. You only gave me books with the word "death" in the titles.

• Annie Hall : Does this sound like a good course? Um, "Modern American Poetry"? Or, let's see now, maybe I should, uh, take "Introduction to the Novel."

  Alvy Singer : Just don't take any course where they make you read Beowulf.

• Annie Hall : [singing at a crowded nightclub]  It had to be you

  [feedback] 

  Annie Hall : It had to be you

  [waiter drops his tray] 

  Annie Hall : I wandered around, And finely found, The somebody who, Could make me be true, Who'd make me be blue, And even be glad

  [telephone rings] 

  Annie Hall : Just to be sad

  [telephone rings] 

  Annie Hall : Thinking of you...

• Annie Hall : Some of her poems seem - neat.

  Alvy Singer : Neat?

  Annie Hall : Neat, yeah.

  Alvy Singer : Uh, I hate to tell yuh, this is 1975, you know that "neat" went out, I would say, at the turn of the century.

• Alvy Singer : I'm all perspired and everything.

  Annie Hall : Well, didn't you take a shower at the club?

  Alvy Singer : Me? No, no, no. 'Cause I never - I never shower in a public place.

  Annie Hall : Why not?

  Alvy Singer : 'Cause I - I don't like to get naked in front of another man, you know - it's, uh, it's uh...

  Annie Hall : Oh, I see, I see.

  Alvy Singer : You know, I don't like to show my body to a man of my gender.

• Alvy Singer : [after sex]  Jesus, you were great.

  Annie Hall : Oh, yeah?

  Alvy Singer : Yeah.

  Annie Hall : Yeah? No.

  Alvy Singer : I'm - I'm a wreck

  Annie Hall : No.

  [unbelieving] 

  Annie Hall : You're a wreck.

  Alvy Singer : Really. I mean it. I - I'll never play the piano again.

• Annie Hall : [singing]  Seems like old times, having you to walk with, Seems like old times, having you to walk with, And it's still a thrill just to have my arms around you, Still the thrill that it was the day I found you, Seems like old times, dinner dates and flowers, Old times, staying up for hours, Making dreams come true, doing things we used to do, Seems like old times here with you...

• Annie Hall : Hey, listen, what - what do you think? Do you think we should, uh, go to that - that party in Southampton tonight?

  Alvy Singer : No, don't be silly. What - what do we need other people for? You know, we should - we should just turn out the lights, you know, and play hide the salam or something.