Columbo (TV Series)

Try and Catch Me (1977)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Quotes 

• Lt. Columbo : You know, I can remember the only new car my father ever bought. How proud he was. The way it smelled. Kind of like the inside of a Pullman car. It wasn't like this though, I'll tell you that.

  Abigail Mitchell : My father never owned a car. Not until I bought him one. I was 20; I'd just sold my first book. Shall we compare poverty stories, Lieutenant?

  Lt. Columbo : Not in a Rolls Royce, ma'am.

• Lt. Columbo : [to his dog]  Okay. Now, don't go away. Stay.

  [Dog runs off] 

  Lt. Columbo : He's trained.

  Abigail Mitchell : Amazing.

• Abigail Mitchell : [about Columbo's basset hound]  Is he all right?

  Lt. Columbo : Well, yes, ma'am. Do you see something wrong?

  Abigail Mitchell : He seems to be scraping bottom.

  Lt. Columbo : Well, that's the way they were made.

• Lt. Columbo : [Referring to an old chair]  Can I sit in this?

  Abigail Mitchell : Well, that's what it was made for 400 years ago.

• Abigail Mitchell : I'm beginning to be very fond of you, Lieutenant. I think you're a very kind man.

  Lt. Columbo : Don't count on that, Miss Mitchell. Don't count on it.

• Lt. Columbo : I like my Job, oh, I like it a lot & I'm not depressed by it & I don't think the world is full of criminals & full of murderers, because it isn't, it's full of nice people, just like you & if it was't for my job, I wouldn't be getting to meet you like this. And I'll tell you something else, even with some of the murderers that I meet, I even like them too sometimes, like 'em & even respect 'em, not for what they did, certainly not for that, but for that part of them which is intelligent, or funny, or just nice, because there's niceness in everyone, a little bit anyhow, you can take a cop's word for it.

• Abigail Mitchell : Besides, I have work to do with Lieutenant Columbo.

  Lt. Columbo : [mocking]  'I have work to do with Lieutenant Columbo'. I wish Mrs. Columbo could hear that.

• Lt. Columbo : I can't tell you what a big help you've been.

  Abigail Mitchell : "Big help to Lieutenant Columbo." Wish my publishers could hear you say that.

• Lt. Columbo : My car's right here. It's French. Very rare.

  [Abigail looks at Columbo's car, dust-covered, front grill manged, and with license plate askew] 

  Abigail Mitchell : Uh, yes. Oh, I can see why.

• Lt. Columbo : That must have been very hard losing someone you love like that. I've been very lucky. I've lost my parents, that's the way of the world. But to lose someone that young, that's like being cheated. That's very hard.

  Abigail Mitchell : I'm beginning to be very fond of you, Lieutenant. I think you're a very kind man.

  Lt. Columbo : Don't count on that, Miss Mitchell. Don't count on it.

• Lt. Columbo : [after Abigail Mitchell Shows Lt Columbo where she said she found the car keys next to the sprinkler head]  I'll be running off now.

  Abigail Mitchell : Goodbye, young man.

  [hesitates] 

  Abigail Mitchell : Oh...

  [follows after Lt. Columbo, then calls out] 

  Abigail Mitchell : Lt. Columbo

  [Lt. Columbo turns around] 

  Abigail Mitchell : *Just one more question*.

• Lt. Columbo : [after being invited by Abigail Mitchell to speak in front of the Mystery Group Luncheon; about his cigar]  I talk better when this is lit.