California Suite (1978)

Walter Matthau: Marvin Michaels

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marvin Michaels : Do you know who that is?

  Millie Michaels : Yes, it's our hooker. Do you think I would ride with strangers?

• [Marvin is in town for his nephew's bar mitzvah. His brother has set him up with a hooker, who is in his bed, unconscious, when Marvin's wife, Millie, arrives. Marvin tries desperately to keep her from seeing the hooker, but finally gives in to the inevitable] 

  Marvin Michaels : Millie... I want you to turn around. But please - no matter what you see - don't say anything for ten seconds.

  [Millie turns. She sees the unconscious hooker] 

  Millie Michaels : One... two... I'm praying, Marvin. I'm praying very hard the maid came in here to do your room, got dizzy, and fainted from overwork. I'm praying to God the maids in this hotel wear pajamas.

• Millie Michaels : How much would you say she is, Marvin? Does she look like a fifty dollar hooker to you?

  Marvin Michaels : I don't know... I guess so...

  Millie Michaels : What a cheap brother you've got. We spend a HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-FIVE on his lousy kid!

• Marvin Michaels : Harry! You got so bald! How did you get so bald?

  Harry Michaels : You don't see your brother in five years, that's all you got to say?

  Marvin Michaels : I didn't even know it was you. You got so bald!

• Millie Michaels : I've never seen you so sex-crazed in the morning.

  Marvin Michaels : I didn't realize it was the morning.

• Harry Michaels : Look at that beauty! They fall out of the trees here like oranges.

  Marvin Michaels : Lucky thing I didn't move out here. I'd be bald, like you.

• Marvin Michaels : How come your so preoccupied with: sex, sex, sex? I thought all that jogging, you'd forget about sex.

  Harry Michaels : You know something better?

  Marvin Michaels : You're still the same: girls, girls, girls. You fall apart every time you see a tuchus.

• Marvin Michaels : Open your lips, you crazy broad!

• Marvin Michaels : I've missed you. Let's go to the living room. God, I've missed you! Let's make love in the living room.

  Millie Michaels : You've missed me? You've only been away one night?

  Marvin Michaels : I know; but, there's a three hour time difference.

• Marvin Michaels : My God, I've never seen you look so pretty! Come here, you cute little thing.

  Millie Michaels : Oh, Marvin, don't be ridiculous. There's not even a bed in here.

  Marvin Michaels : Oh. Oh, well, they have terrific carpeting. Come on. We tried pot last year. Let's try carpeting this year.

• Millie Michaels : You know what my guess is? My guess is that that's a woman in your bed.

  Marvin Michaels : That's my guess to, Millie.

  Millie Michaels : What woman? You can tell me in court.

• Marvin Michaels : Millie, I'll never do anything again to hurt you, as long as I live. You're the most special woman in the world to me, Millie, and I love you. I love you, Millie!

  [embraces Millie] 

  Millie Michaels : Please, not in front of the hooker.