- Lt. Columbo: [trying to trigger the attack word for the dogs] Kill! Kiss! Diamonds! Rubies! Sneakers!
- Lt. Columbo: Well, I guess, most people, they like to hear about their personalities, I mean, especially from an expert. Lord knows *I* do. I could sit and listen to someone talk about me for hours.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: If you wanna protect your wife, Lieutenant, why don't you just teach her karate? Good-bye.
- Lt. Columbo: [to Dr. Eric Mason] Very simple case. Not that I'm particularly bright, sir. I must say, I found you disappointing. I mean your incompetence. You left enough clues to sink a ship, motive, opportunity. And for a man of your intelligence, sir, you got caught in a lot of stupid lies. A lot of them!
- Dr. Eric Mason: You pass yourself off as a puppy in a raincoat, happily running around the yard, digging holes all over the garden, Only, you're digging a minefield and wagging your tail.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: It's all right, Lieutenant. You can pet him.
- Lt. Columbo: Why should I?
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: To show him that you're friendly.
- Lt. Columbo: Why doesn't he show me first?
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: When a dog goes killer wild, we call it, uh, reverting. It's reversion back to the wolf. We don't talk about it a whole lot, but it happens.
- Lt. Columbo: Well, that would explain it, ma'am.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Except that you told me you played with the dogs AFTER they went savage. Now, I've never heard of a reverting dog that didn't stay that way.
- Lt. Columbo: Well, thank you very much, ma'am. We didn't clear much up but it sort of highlights the problem.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Baruk, kiss!
- [training dog attacks padded man]
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Baruk, out! Come! Baruk, come!
- Lt. Columbo: Miss Cochran! Ma'am!
- [runs up to her]
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: [to Baruk] Good boy. Good boy.
- Lt. Columbo: What did you just do?
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Just an attack command.
- Lt. Columbo: But you said...
- Lt. Columbo: [eyes the dog warily] ... K-I-S-S, ma'am.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Well, that's Baruk's attack word. A dog can respond to any command as long as he's trained to understand it. Here, I'll show you. Baruk. Watch him. Watch him. Kill!
- [Baruk jumps up on Lt. Columbo and licks his face]
- Lt. Columbo: [relieved] Oh, ho, yes! Yes, you're a good doggie. Yes. All right. All right, that's enough.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Baruk, down.
- Lt. Columbo: That's enough.
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: Down.
- Lt. Columbo: All right. Whew. You mean that a trainer can control a dog with any word? Any word at all?
- Miss Cochran - the dog trainer: A sign, or a sound, a word - ANY word, in any language.
- Dr. Eric Mason: What the hell are you playing at?
- Lt. Columbo: Oh, just my game, sir. You're good at tennis and word games, and Dr. Hunter, he was a winner with women. This is my game.
- Lt. Columbo: Well, we'll be seeing more of each other, sir, until the investigation is settled.
- Dr. Eric Mason: Lieutenant. It's not that I haven't been impressed by your company, but what is there to settle?
- Lt. Columbo: Well, it's that telephone again, sir. You see, whoever called Dr. Hunter musta heard those awful sounds in the kitchen, sir. Must have heard the dogs and a man dying. Dying and screaming, sir, and nobody called the police. We never got a report, sir. Not a single one - except for the young girl down here in the guest house; so, you can see, we would like to know who made that telephone call, sir. You understand, sir.
- Lt. Columbo: [to an open-mouthed Dr Mason:] Don't feel you have to comment, sir, it's just a theory.