Doing Time (1979)

Fulton Mackay: Mackay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Governor : [discussing who may be on the celebrity football team]  Didn't you mention that comedian chap? Wh-What's his name? Jimmy Tarbrush?

  Mackay : Buck, sir.

  Governor : Yes. Buck Tarbrush.

  Mackay : Well, unhappily he's indisposed sir.

  Governor : Oh, dear.

  [he and Mackay leave] 

  Fletcher : Buck Tarbrush. We should be lucky to get Basil Brush.

• Mackay : Fletcher!

  Fletcher : Sir.

  Mackay : If you want to sing, I suggest you form a Slade Prison Glee Club.

  Fletcher : Glee?

• Mackay : What's on the menu today Godber?

  Godber : Creme Dubarry, followed by curry sir.

  Mackay : Curried what?

  Godber : Meat sir.

  Mackay : What meat?

  Godber : I dunno. It just says 'tinned meat'. On the tin like.

• Mackay : I won't buy it, Fletcher.

  Fletcher : That's just as well 'cause it ain't for sale.

• Mackay : I was in the village today. There were some interesting reports. Sightings you might say.

  Fletcher : UFOs?

  Mackay : Indeed. Unidentified *Fleeing* Objects.

• Mackay : You're an unlikely choice as trainer, Fletcher.

  Fletcher : Well, it was the lads what decided it.

  Mackay : Yet you've always struck me as a man who despises physical activity.

  Fletcher : Oh, not in others sir.

• Mackay : I'm going to book you for that.

  Cooper : You what?

  Mackay : What's your name, Cooper?

  Cooper : [pause]  Cooper.

• Mackay : Are you wearing make-up again, Whittaker?

• Mackay : We find it best to put them all together in G wing or as we call it, married quarters.

• Mackay : As you can see, Mr Beal, these men are gainfully employed in the manufacture of prison uniforms.

  Armstrong : I'm going to open my own boutique when I get out.

  Mackay : That'll do, Armstrong.

• Fletcher : Who are all these people, sir? I mean, me and the lads was given to understand that there would be a fair smattering of celebrities.

  Mackay : See that red-haired man? Tells the weather on Anglia TV. And there's a pair of script writers for someone quite famous, and Mr Bainbridge himself has just finished a season at the Al Hambra Swansea.

  Fletcher : I'll tell the lads. They'll be right chuffed.

  Bunny Warren : Who are they, Fletch?

  Fletcher : A weather man, eight small parts and a widow twanky, now go and get changed.

• Mackay : [During the football game Godber jumps up to head the ball, instead he misses, falls backwards and bangs his head on the goalpost causing him to fall over] 

  [MacKay holds up one finger] 

  Mackay : How many fingers am I holding up?

  Godber : You can't fool me sir, five.

• Mackay : What'll it be Mr Barrowclough?

  Mr Barrowclough : Oh something to keep out the cold.

  Mackay : Yes it's bitter out.

  Mr Barrowclough : It's bitter in!

• [it's the day of the football matcha and the team captains shake hands] 

  Mr Mackay : Now I want a nice clean fight.

  Urquart : It's not a boxing match, Mr Mackay.

  Mr Mackay : That's what I'm anxious to avoid.

• Mackay : My day will come.

• Mackay : Don't be cheeky, Ives.

• Mackay : There are only two rules in this prison, Rudge. Are you listening to me? One, you do not write on the walls. Two, you obey all the rules.