Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979)
Vincent Van Patten: Tom Roberts
Photos
Quotes
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Tom Roberts : The only thing I'll ever lay is a rug!
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Tom Roberts : [needs to see Eaglebauer] Miss, you don't understand. See, uh, this is an emergency.
Norma : Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Tom Roberts : Um... sexual.
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Tom Roberts : I hear it's raining cats and dogs in Idaho
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Tom Roberts : I got to get myself together. I need to improve my self image. I need to broaden my horizons! Riff Randell. I need to get laid.
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Eaglebauer : Tell me - exactly what you want out of life.
Tom Roberts : I want someone with huge breasts.
Eaglebauer : The sweet, stirring, passionate youth.
Tom Roberts : I want to get laid before I'm 30.
Eaglebauer : Are you a virgin?
Tom Roberts : Do you mean - technically?
Eaglebauer : You've come to the right place.
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Tom Roberts : Couldn't I just practice with myself?
Eaglebauer : You've done too much of that already.
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Tom Roberts : Look at all this stuff! Tele-TV, stereo, wet bar, water bed! Say, I never knew gettin' laid was so expensive.
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Eaglebauer : You can move right in. She'll be a pushover. And, besides, look how far you've come in three days.
Tom Roberts : Yeah, but the question is, how far will she go tonight?
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Tom Roberts : The only thing I'll ever lay is a carpet.