- Famous Italian Director: Welcome to the screening ladies and gentlemen. I'm the director, I'd like to make, uh, just a few brief comments before we start. While we're watching the film I DON'T want you thinking about the 40 million dollars that were spent and the millions and millions of feet of film that were shot over a period of four *agonizing* years - just put that stuff right outta your mind. It's all in your program anyway, I think it's uh... volume 7. I especially don't want you thinking about the analogy of the story to my own life: the fact that I risked my personal fortune and professional reputation to make this movie, and that I too was making a voyage up the creek without a paddle. Well - don't be thinkin' about that stuff, just relax and enjoy the film. By the way the running time is 7 hours and 29 minutes.
- [Audience groans]
- Famous Italian Director: Thank you.