The Great Muppet Caper (1981)
Diana Rigg: Lady Holiday
Photos
Quotes
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Miss Piggy : [Lady Holiday has just given Miss Piggy the entire backstory for the movie] Why are you telling me all this?
Lady Holiday : It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.
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Lady Holiday : Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
Nicky Holiday : For complimenting you on your necklace?
Lady Holiday : No, because it's customary.
Nicky Holiday : I haven't any change.
Lady Holiday : Then give him something bigger.
Nicky Holiday : *Bigger*? I left my wallet at home.
Lady Holiday : You left your wallet in college.
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Lady Holiday : Carla, the neckline on that gown is too high, don't you think?
Carla : I rather like the effect.
Lady Holiday : You like looking like an ostrich?
Carla : [miffed] Of course not, Lady Holiday.
Lady Holiday : And Marla. Too many frills and furbelows, I don't think we should strive for the fan-tailed pigeon look, do you? And you, Darla, that outfit's the pits. Loose where it should be tight and tight where it should be loose, like the folds on a turkey's neck. Why would I design such atrocious looking clothes?
[sitting down with a heavy sigh]
Lady Holiday : I *must* be getting senile.
[she presses a button on her desk]
Voice over intercom : Yes, Lady Holiday?
Lady Holiday : We have to make drastic changes in the new line before the show tomorrow, all my girls are going around looking like barnyard animals.
Miss Piggy : Ahem!
Lady Holiday : Good heavens, who are you?
Miss Piggy : My name is Miss Piggy, and I would like to be a high-fashion model!
Lady Holiday : Doesn't surprise me. Seems to be the way we're headed.
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Lady Holiday : I have grave doubts about wearing these jewels. I feel as if thieves are breathing down my neck.
Nicky Holiday : [breathing down her neck] Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.
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Miss Piggy : Well, as you can see from this small sampling, modeling is my life. It is my destiny, I shall accept nothing less.
Lady Holiday : I can offer you a job as a receptionist.
Miss Piggy : [jumping up and down and shouting] AAAAAAAHHHHH! I'll take it! I'll take it! Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, you won't be sorry, I promise. I can type, I can take shorthand, I can make coffee, I can do it all!
Lady Holiday : Sit.
[Miss Piggy immediately sits down and calms herself]
Miss Piggy : I can sit. I'm very good at sitting.
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Lady Holiday : Nicky, that's my new secretary dancing out there.
Nicky Holiday : Which one?
Lady Holiday : The pig.