The Missionary (1982)

Michael Palin: The Reverend Charles Fortescue

Photos 

Quotes 

• Reverend Fortescue : Deborah, do you know what is meant by "fallen women"?

  Deborah Fitzbanks : Women who have hurt their knees.

• Reverend Fortescue : Vicki...

  Violet : Violet.

  Reverend Fortescue : Er, Violet. Would you and Ruby...

  Rosie : Rosie.

  Reverend Fortescue : Rosie. Go and clean upstairs, and get some help from the three girls in my bed.

• Reverend Fortescue : Isabel?

  Lady Isabel Ames : Charles! What are you doing here?

  Reverend Fortescue : I've come to stop you.

  Lady Isabel Ames : How dare you? How dare you interfere with my plans?

  Reverend Fortescue : You mustn't kill him.

  Lady Isabel Ames : Why not? What business is it of yours, interfering priest?

  Reverend Fortescue : You could hang for it.

  Lady Isabel Ames : No one's going to hang. It's a simple shooting accident.

  Reverend Fortescue : Isabel, this is England in 1906. People don't go around killing each other just because they don't get on!

  Lady Isabel Ames : No, they just endure don't they? Stiff upper lip, that's the British way. I'm sure it wasn't like that in Africa.

  Reverend Fortescue : Africa's primitive!

  Lady Isabel Ames : Oh, yes. God save us from being primitive.

  Reverend Fortescue : There's not so much wrong with the British way, for your class especially.

  Lady Isabel Ames : My class? This is not my class, Charles.

  Reverend Fortescue : You know what I mean.

  Lady Isabel Ames : You don't know what *I* mean.

  [Adopts a changed accent and demeanor] 

  Lady Isabel Ames : You alone, sir? Want some company? Clean and cheap?

  [She returns to normal, Fortescue is speechless] 

  Lady Isabel Ames : Yes. I've disguised it well, haven't I? I had to. The honest tart never gets anywhere. No, they're not my bloody class, thank God!

• [Attempting to talk her out of a dangerous plan] 

  Reverend Fortescue : Isabel, I...

  Lady Isabel Ames : Please, don't. I don't want to be understood.

  [pauses] 

  Lady Isabel Ames : Not now.

  Reverend Fortescue : What are you going to do? What are you going to gain from this?

  [Isabel begins to say something, tearfully sighs, and walks out the door] 

• [Isabel has been injured] 

  Reverend Fortescue : I'm sorry. Dear, God, I'm so sorry.

  Lady Isabel Ames : You were only trying to do the decent thing.

  [Fortescue begins to drape his coat around her] 

  Lady Isabel Ames : No, don't Charles.

  [He continues anyway] 

  Lady Isabel Ames : That's the trouble with you. You're far too decent.

• Lady Isabel Ames : I got it all wrong, didn't I?

  Reverend Fortescue : What do you mean?

  Lady Isabel Ames : I tried to convert the missionary.

• Deborah Fitzbanks : Everyone was asking after you. They're all terribly excited about the wedding.

  Reverend Fortescue : Wedding?

  Deborah Fitzbanks : OUR wedding!

  Reverend Fortescue : Oh, yes... Yes.

• Reverend Fortescue : I shall be looking after women... Women who are in... moral trouble.

  Deborah Fitzbanks : Liars?

• Reverend Fortescue : I'm going to remain a missionary.

  Deborah Fitzbanks : But I thought...

  Reverend Fortescue : A missionary IN ENGLAND!

  Deborah Fitzbanks : But everyone's ENGLISH in England.

• Reverend Fortescue : The locals had never seen a bicycle before. They used to call me "The Man on the Starving Horse."