Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
Alan Young: Scrooge
Photos
Quotes
-
Marley : Ebenezer, remember when I was alive I robbed from widows and swindled the poor?
Scrooge : Yes, and all in the same day. Oh, you had class, Jacob.
Marley : Ha-ha-yuk, yup! Er, no, no! I was wrong. And so, as punishment, I'm forced to carry these heavy chains through eternity! Maybe even longer.
-
Scrooge : And what can I do for you two gentlemen?
Collector for the Poor #1 : Sir, we are collecting funds for the indigent and destitute.
Scrooge : For the what?
Collector for the Poor #2 : [tipping his hat] We're collecting for the poor.
Scrooge : Oh. Aha. Well um, you realize if you give money to the poor, they won't be poor anymore, will they?
Collector for the Poor #2 : Well, I...
Scrooge : And if they're not *poor* anymore, then you won't have to raise money for them anymore.
Collector for the Poor #1 : Well, I suppose...
Scrooge : And if you don't have to raise money for them anymore, then you'd be out of a job. Oh please, gentlemen, don't ask me to put you out of a job. Not on Christmas Eve.
Collector for the Poor #1 : Oh, we wouldn't do that, Mr. Scrooge.
Scrooge : [giving them a wreath] Well then, I suggest you give this to the poor and be gone.
[Slams door on them]
-
Scrooge : Spirit, whose lonely grave is this?
[Ghost flicks a lighter revealing Scrooge's name on the tombstone, gasps, Ghost removes his hood and lights a cigar]
Ghost of Christmas Future (Pete) : Why yours, Ebenezer. The richest man in the cemetery!
[laughs as he throws Scrooge in the grave]
-
Scrooge : My partner, Jacob Marley, dead seven years today. Oh, he was a good'n. He robbed from the widows and swindled the poor.
[chuckles, then knocks the snow covering his business sign "Scrooge and Marley" with his cane]
Scrooge : In his will, he left me enough money to pay for his tombstone. Huh, yet I have him buried at sea!
-
Ghost of Christmas Past : *Well*, it's about time! Haven't got all night, you know.
Scrooge : Who... who are you?
Ghost of Christmas Past : Why...
[chuckles]
Ghost of Christmas Past : I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past.
[reveals a medal badge that reads "Ghost of Christmas Past Official"]
Scrooge : Ohhh, I thought you'd be taller.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Hmph! Listen, Scrooge: if men were measured by kindness, you'd be no - *bigger* than a... speck o'dust!
Scrooge : [yawns then turns over to try to get back to sleep] Kindness is of little use in this world.
Ghost of Christmas Past : You didn't always think so. Come on, Scrooge, it's time to go!
Scrooge : Then go!
-
Scrooge : And what are you doing here, nephew?
Fred : I've come to give you a wreath and invite you to Christmas dinner.
Scrooge : [touched by Fred's invitation] Well! I suppose you're going to have plump goose with chestnut dressing?
Fred : Yup.
Scrooge : And will you have plum pudding and lemon sauce?
Fred : Yeah, boy oh boy!
Scrooge : And candied fruit with spiced sugar cakes?
Fred : Yeah, will you come?
Scrooge : Are you daft, man? You know I can't eat that stuff! Here's your wreath back. Now, out, out, out!
[kicks Fred out the door and slams it after him]
Scrooge : Bah... humbug!
Fred : [comes back opening the door] Merry Christmas!
[Fred hangs the wreath on the inside doorknob then leaves]
Scrooge : [turning to Bob] And a bah humbug to you!
-
Scrooge : [sighs] What's this world coming to, Cratchit? You work all your life to get money... then people want you to give it away.
-
[Bob closes his book and starts to leave as the clock chimes 7:00. Scrooge looks at his watch]
Scrooge : Hmm... Two minutes fast.
[Bob stops then goes back to his desk]
Scrooge : Well, never mind those two minutes. You may go now.
Cratchit : Ha, oh thank you, sir!
[closes his book and hops down from his chair]
Cratchit : You're so kind!
Scrooge : Never mind that mushy stuff, just go! But be here all the other early the next day!
Cratchit : I will, I will, sir! And a Bah Humbug...
[realizes his misgreeting]
Cratchit : I mean, a Merry Christmas to you, sir!
-
Marley : Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits.
[holds up two fingers]
Marley : Listen to 'em. Do what they say, or your chains will be heavier than mine.
[singing]
Marley : Farewell, Ebenezer.
[almost slips on Scrooge's fallen cane, but avoids so by stepping over it and slips away through the door]
Marley : Farewell...
Scrooge : Marley! Watch out for that first...!
[Marley goes crashing down the stairs]
Scrooge : ...step.
-
Scrooge : Please, let me go! Don't eat me!
Ghost of Christmas Present : Why would the Ghost of Christmas Present - that's me - want to eat a distasteful little miser like you?... Especially when there are so many good things to enjoy in life? See?
-
Scrooge : Tell me, spirit, what's wrong with that kind lad?
Ghost of Christmas Present : Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat.
Scrooge : Then that means Tim will...
-
Scrooge : And that shy lad in the corner, that's me.
Ghost of Christmas Past : Yes, that was before you became a miserable miser, consumed by greed.
Scrooge : Well, nobody's perfect.
-
Scrooge : Merry Christmas to one and all!
[Slides down banister]
Scrooge : Ah, bless me. Good morning, gentlemen. I've something for ya.
[Puts a bag of coins on the second collector's head]
Collector for the Poor #1 : Twenty gold sovereigns! Oh, no!
Scrooge : Not enough? Here.
[Puts another bag on the collector's pants]
Scrooge : Fifty gold sovereigns!
Collector for the Poor #2 : Really, Mister Scrooge. It's...
Scrooge : Still not enough! You drive a hard bargain. Here you are.
[Throws several bags at the collectors]
Scrooge : One hundred gold pieces, and not a penny more!
Collector for the Poor #1 : Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge! Thank you! And a *merry* Christmas to you!
-
Scrooge : Ah, nephew!
Fred : Uncle Scrooge!
Scrooge : I'm looking forward to that wonderful meal of yours.
Fred : [to his horse, softly] Well, I'll be doggone.
[back to Scrooge, excitedly]
Fred : You mean you're coming?
Scrooge : Of course I am! You know how much I love candied fruit with spiced sugar cakes.
[Fred laughs]
Scrooge : I'll be over there promptly at two! Keep it piping hot!
Fred : [joyfully] I will, Uncle Scrooge, I *will*! And a *very* merry Christmas to you!
-
Scrooge : [catches Cratchit trying to heat up the office] Cratchit, what are you doing with that piece of coal?
Cratchit : I was j-j-just trying to thaw out the ink.
Scrooge : Bah! You used that piece last week!
[knocks the coal out of his hand into the trash can]
Scrooge : Now, get on with your work, Cratchit!
-
Scrooge : Ooh... Minced pies... Turkies... Suckling pig.
Ghost of Christmas Present : Duh, don't forget the chocolate pot roast with dismenshio... No, it's pismechio... No, it's disminglishmaguh... Duh, with yogurt.
-
Scrooge : Ahhh, I remember how much I was in love with her.
[a wind blows and the lights inside go out]
Ghost of Christmas Past : In ten years time, you learned to love something else.
Scrooge : Why, it's my counting house.
[Scrooge sees himself sitting in his chair counting money]
Scrooge : 9,971, 9,972...
Belle : Ebenezer?
Scrooge : Yes, what is it?
Belle : For years, I've had this honeymoon cottage, Ebenezer. I've been waiting for you to keep your promise to marry me. Now I must know, have you made your decision?
Scrooge : [sternly] I have! Your last payment on the cottage was an hour late! I'm fore-*closing* the mortgage!
[Belle walks away, crying]
Ghost of Christmas Past : You loved your gold more than that precious creature, and you lost her forever.
Scrooge : 9,97...
[Belle leaves and slams the door behind her, hard enough to make the coins clatter everywhere]
Scrooge : ... 3.
Scrooge : Please, spirit, I can no longer bear these memories! Take me home!
Ghost of Christmas Past : Remember, Scrooge, you fashioned these memories yourself.
[echoes]
-
Fred : Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge!
Scrooge : [closes his book and marches to Fred and Cratchit] What's so merry about it? I'll tell you what Christmas is. It's just another workday, and any jackanape who thinks else should be... boiled in his own pudding!
Fred : [recoiling sorrowfully] Ohhh.
Cratchit : But sir, Christmas is a time for giving... a time to be with one's family.
Scrooge : I say bah humbug!
Fred : I don't care. I'd say merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Cratchit : [clapping] Well said, Master Fred!
Scrooge : Cratchit, what're you doing?
Cratchit : [stops clapping and chuckles nervously] I was just trying to keep my hands warm, sir.
-
Scrooge : I'll change! I'LL CHANGE!
-
Cratchit : Speaking of work, Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas, and I was wondering if I could have... a half a day off?
Scrooge : Christmas, eh? Uh, er... I suppose so. But I'll dock you half a day's pay. Let's see, I pay you two shillings a day...
Cratchit : Two shillings and a halfpenny, Sir.
Scrooge : Oh yes, I gave you that raise three years ago.
Cratchit : Yes, sir, when I started doing your laundry.
Scrooge : Alright, Cratchit, get busy while I go over my books. Oh, and here...
[Scrooge picks up a bag and tosses it to Cratchit]
Scrooge : Here's another bundle of shirts for ya.
Cratchit : Yes, sir!
-
Scrooge : But where did all this come from?
Ghost of Christmas Present : From the heart, Scrooge. It's the food of generosity, which you have long denied your fellow man.
Scrooge : Generosity? Ha! Nobody has ever shown *me* generosity!
Ghost of Christmas Present : You've never given them reason to.
[plucks off a grape then gulps it]
Ghost of Christmas Present : And yet... there are some who still find enough warmth in their hearts even for the likes of you.
Scrooge : Hmph! No acquaintance of mine, I assure you.
Ghost of Christmas Present : Duh, you'll see.
-
Scrooge : Spirit, I didn't want this to happen. Tell me these events can yet be changed.
-
Cratchit : Why, Mr. Scrooge, Merry Christmas.
[Scrooge barges in]
Cratchit : Won't you come in?
Scrooge : Merry Christmas? Humph!
[drops a bag on the floor]
Scrooge : I have another bundle for you.
Cratchit : But sir, it's Christmas Day.
Scrooge : Christmas Day, indeed! Just another excuse for being lazy. And another thing, Cratchit: I've had enough of this 'half-day off' stuff! You leave me no alternative...
[changing his attitude]
Scrooge : ...but to give you...
Tiny Tim : [opens the bag] Toys!
Scrooge : Yes, toys. No no no no no no no!
[lovingly]
Scrooge : I'm giving you a raise... and making you my partner.
Cratchit : Uh... partner? Oh, thank you, Mr. Scrooge.
-
Scrooge : What's she cooking, a canary? Surely they have more food than that. Look on the fire.
Ghost of Christmas Present : Huh, where? Oh, that's your laundry.
-
[repeated line]
Scrooge : Bah humbug!
-
Scrooge : IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING! I haven't missed it! The spirits have given me another chance!
