Bolero (1984) Poster

(1984)

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3/10
What a body!....er that's it
augustian7 June 2003
If you're looking for a well-scripted plot,believable characters, firm direction and seamless editing then Bolero is a strange film to see. I cannot believe that Bo Derek's character finds it impossible to lose her virginity anywhere but in Spain. The film itself lacks interesting plot and characters and most of the time is just plain boring. However, I suspect that just about everyone, myself included, who sees this film only sees it for one thing - The Body, and it does not disappoint. The lighting and camera work shows off Ms Derek's shape to best advantage although the end fantasy scene is spoilt by flashes of light.

I've given a rating of 3 for Bolero simply because The Body lifts it above 1. If you want to see Bo derek's body, watch this or Tarzan the Ape Man. If you want to watch anything else, watch something else.
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4/10
Not THAT bad
Tito-82 March 1999
While this isn't the disaster that most everyone seems to think that it is, "Bolero" is still pretty weak. The storyline is okay, at least it was enough to keep me mildly entertained, but I have to admit that the film was certainly dragged down by Bo's inability to act. The abduction scene towards the end also stands out as rather pathetic, and I was unable to take this movie seriously for the remaining few scenes. In other words, there are serious flaws that hamper this film, and I certainly don't recommend it, but there is no way that this is one of the worst films of the 1980's.
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2/10
Bo Derek is easy on the eyes!
bbhlthph14 August 2003
"Bo - Leer Oh!"

"What?"

"Bo Derek is easy on the eyes"

"So?"

"Bo Derek is easy on the eyes"

"Yes, but what about the story?"

"There is no story but Bo Derek is easy on the eyes ...... and parts of the sound track are very easy on the ears."

Unfortunately apart from this the film was a disaster which had a very adverse effect on the careers, and probably also the personal lives, of those principally involved.
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The MPAA was right - "X"
billy-444 January 2002
One thing to remember about "Bolero" is that the reason lots of people went to see it on its initial release was that the MPAA wanted to rate it "X". Jon and Bo decided to release it without a rating in order to avoid having to make cuts to their masterwork. As a result, there was a lot of fanfare around the release of "Bolero." A whole lot of people (okay, let's be completely honest--"a whole lot of men") flocked to the theaters because of this controversy, figuring, "Hey, if the MPAA wanted it to be 'X,' it must be pretty steamy stuff. So here's our golden opportunity to see what those darn censors tried to protect us from."

Having worked in a theater that exhibited "Bolero" on its first run in 1984, I can attest to the fact that, during most showings, at least a third of the audience walked out before the half-way mark. A lot of people demanded their money back on this one. To be frank, a fair number of them were disappointed because they expected explicit pornography and instead only got soft-core.

Bo is in search of ecstasy--"E-X-T-A-S-Y," as her character says early in the story. Later in the movie, during a fantasy sequence, Bo sees a neon sign that reads, "Extasy." She says, "See? I was right - 'X'," then makes an "X" in front of her face with her two index fingers. (The scene is actually much funnier in context (unintentionally funny, that is), but I don't want to spoil the movie's only entertaining moment.)

Well, the MPAA was right - it should have been rated X. While the camera never gets as up-close and personal as one usually expects in pornography, it still carefully focuses your attention where it wants you to look--and I don't mean "at Bo's eyes". The camera even resorts to objectification a few times, showing people only from the neck to the hips--reducing people to body parts because the filmmakers want you to focus only on the sex and to forget about the characters and the plot, which is a basic staple of most mainstream pornography.

"Bolero" seemed to want to be a fable with the moral, "Sex with someone you love is infinitely better than casual sex." However, it tried to deliver this moral through soft-core porn that is mostly centered around casual sex, which strikes me as a conflict of interests.

"Bolero" wants to be pornography, but it also wants to be a morality play. It ultimately fails to be a good example of either one. "Deep Throat" and "The Opening of Misty Beethoven" had better plots, better scripts and better acting, and, to all appearances, their creators communicated their intentions more successfully.

Like Tanya Roberts' "Sheena," if "Bolero" had been a little worse than it is, it could have become a camp classic. Sadly, the majority of "Bolero" is just plain not interesting. When people really love or really hate a movie, you at least know that the movie has enough substance to evoke such strong responses. The main response that "Bolero" evoked from people was yawns, which is one of the worst things a filmmaker can achieve.
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1/10
How I missed the 1980's
lambiepie-230 June 2003
I actually went to a midnight showing of "Bolero" the first Saturday it came out. I was with a bunch of friends from college. We thought, "the reviewers must be mad. How bad can a film with Bo Derek in it, be?"

This was bad. I'll sum this up by reporting the thing that has been in my mind about this film for the past 19 years.

There was scattered laughter coming from the theater throughout the showing. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing too at the slow dialogue, bad acting, etc. But around the 25 minute mark, a few people got up and walked out. This was happening all throughout the theater. Other folks were clapping when folks left. That WAS the most entertaining parts of this film.

I did sit through almost to the end the movie with my friends (which made the entire experience worth while) and we decided to go to the box-office to get our money back.

Too late. There was a new big RED sign hanging from the window that read:

"No Refunds"
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4/10
"That THING will work, I guarantee you!"
gridoon5 November 2003
Bo Derek plays a college graduate who is also a virgin - and she's unconvincing on both counts. Yes, her belly-dancing scene is a highlight, but did she have to wear so much make-up all the time? The rest of the film is a plotless, worthless affair, but at least it doesn't take itself all that seriously; and it's this intentionally campy approach that keeps it at least semi-bearable. (**)
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1/10
Not even Bo Dereks naked body can save this
spfi27 December 2001
Ok, I admit it. BO has a beautiful body. And I will admit this too. Bolero is so bad that it easily ranks as one of the worst movies ever made. The most shocking part is Academy Award winner George Kennedy is in it(I guess he likes Derek in the nude as well). Written and directed by her late husband John Derek. >
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1/10
Mrs. John Derek at her finest...and dumbest.
planktonrules9 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Mrs. John Derek plays a dumb and completely anachronistic character. Although she is supposed to live in the 1920s, her hair, clothes, behaviors are strictly from the 1980s. And as far as the plot goes, it's strictly porn film territory--though the film does not show enough to satisfy some of the pervs out there looking for more explicit nudity. And, for people wanting a real film with a real plot, it's a disaster as well since it is dumb and vacuous.

Mrs. Derek's character is an idiot. In the beginning of the film she strips naked and runs around for no real apparent reason. She also loves Rudolph Valentino in "The Sheik", so this spoiled rich idiot goes all the way to Morocco to lose her virginity. I loved how the film screamed "hackneyed mess" when she arrives and you hear "As Time Goes By" (the theme from "Casablanca")--it made me laugh.

When her romantic tryst with a sheik turns out to be a complete bust (with her virginity still intact), she heads to Spain to find a willing piece of beefcake. You'd think Morocco would have at least one stud willing to do this horny lady. However, Spain is also a bust at first, as the bullfighter she wants just so happens to be quite happy with his own busty wench. So, in an effort to get this man, she tries so hard to get him that she seems desperate and stupid. During these shenanigans, we get to see a naked and soapy Olivia d'Abo--who is only 15 and this is rather disturbing. I'm sure some pedos out there enjoyed this scene as well as d'Abo's horny advances. You also get to see Bo and a friend do opium because they are bored...and, once again, quite stupid!!! A bit later when it looks as if Mrs. Derek MIGHT get this Spanish stud to do her, his woman becomes angry (go figure) and threatens him by screaming repeatedly "I keeeel you!!!"--sounding a lot like Jeff Dunham's character, Ahmed the Dead Terrorist! Eventually, surprise, surprise, she and the matador have sex. While the scene is pretty hot and Mrs. Derek undulates amazingly, I did notice that there was perhaps three seconds of foreplay! Not exactly what the audience was expecting after all this build up. Following this scene, Mrs. Derek is attacked by the matador's woman, as she comes at her with a knife yelling "beeeeech!". A semi-naked Mrs. Derek and d'Abo (again, who is underage) lock her in a closet.

In a bizarre twist, the matador isn't that great a bullfighter after all, as he's gored in the crotch. Speaking for every man out there "OOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!". That's what you get when you are the only bullfighter in Spain who refuses to hurt the bull (I kid you not--a p.c. bullfighter). Oddly, now that he's received a groinectomy, Mrs. Derek proposes to him. Considering that her only ambition throughout the film was to get laid, this seems like a very, very odd twist to say the least!! It would be like W.C. Fields marrying Cary Nation (the leader of the temperance movement). And, of course, while he's been told he'll never be able to have sex again, by the very end of the film the magical power of Mrs. Derek is able to somehow restore his manhood--though, in the interim there were a few silly surprises (such as the return of the impotent sheik and the hot but unintentionally funny final nude scene).

So what is to like about the film? Well, aside from the nudity, nothing. The dialog is among the most childish I've ever heard (yet it's a very adult movie supposedly), the characters one-dimensional and cartoon-like and the acting is terrible. While Mrs. John Derek's acting ability when it comes to sex scenes is admirable, her ability to convincingly recite her lines is pathetic and totally unbelievable. And as for d'Abo's, you really have to see it to believe it--it's THAT bad! But, considering her age, this could be forgiven. However, considering that Mrs. Derek is an adult with several screen credits already to her name, she does not have that excuse!

What I find amazing about this film are two things. First, that George Kennedy's fortunes had sunk that low that he agreed to be in this bilge. Second, that any man out there would sink as low as Mr. John Derek. Having his gorgeous wife star in this and several other sex films (like "Tarzan the Ape man") just seems disturbing--hence my referring to her as "Mrs. Derek". Was this some sort of expensive and sick form of sexual gratification--seeing his wife with other men brandished across the big screen? Pretty kinky and pretty sad and without this strange compulsion I can't imagine his wife having any career in films. I think this compulsion would have been easier and cheaper to fulfill by just filming his wife naked and prancing about for 90 minutes with no plot at all.

Truly a stupid, sad and wretched film.
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1/10
Bad, bad, bad--even from a teen's perspective
antigraviton12 July 2003
I saw this movie on cable late one night while staying at a friend's house, around that age when you're young enough to think "squiggle porn" is cool. (For those of you who don't know, that means trying to catch a glimpse of nudity on a scrambled cable channel.) Even at that easily-impressed-by-nudity age, this movie dragged. The story was terrible. The acting was agonizing, making even the nudity-laden scenes unwatchable. And I was a teenage boy. Now *that's* a bad movie.
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1/10
Not What I Expected
Camelot_200013 May 2022
Oh gee, I was thinking of an enjoyable adult romp via this infamous Derek outing, but it proved to be too much "story" and not enough nitty gritty. Bo is beautiful as always while her hubby, John, proved once again that he isn't the best director.

There's some sort of "Plot" where a young woman roams the world wanting to lose her virginity to the right man or something like that. I wasn't really sure what was going on halfway through the film. I lost interest at that point.

It's all a silly affair with bad acting and a pointless story with the professional actor, George Kennedy, adding some anchor to this somewhat low grade mess. Other than that, It's just all of a silly "soft porn" outing and definitely doesn't live up to the erotic reputation it was expected to have.

I mistakenly ordered this dud online and ended up having to impatiently fast forward to get to the good stuff. There's not much either once you get to it. Everything takes place in the dark with a flickering fire in the background.

I'm reminded of that old XXX porno flick called "Rambone" that I rented from the local video store once. It was silly stuff about a Rambo rip off who gets captured by beautiful Russian agents who torture him by tickling him with feathers to get him to talk. Does he eventually spill the beans? I don't know. I was more interested in what was going on rather than following the stupid story.

This adult movie, on the other hand, wants you to follow the stupid "story" rather than getting to the juicy stuff which makes it totally dull. It would be like watching "Rambone" without all the kinky elements involved in it.

Bolero has always has a bad reputation ever since its release in 1984 and that proves true today. It's an excellent curiosity item though, but don't expect much once you do eventually see it. A comic book would have a better tale than what is depicted here. A total dud.
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2/10
can't be taken seriously
SnoopyStyle5 April 2016
Lida MacGillivery (Bo Derek) is a free-spirited girl graduating from a British boarding school. She travels around the world to have adventures with her chauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy) and friend Catalina. She tries to lose her virginity to a young Sheik but he falls asleep. In Spain, she falls for bullfighter Angel despite a jealous gypsy. She befriends Paloma (Olivia d'Abo). Angel is injured by a bull and can't perform sexually.

If the goal is to see Bo Derek naked, this achieves that goal. However, almost everything in this is laughable. The story is overwrought stupidity that is only worthy of the worst pulp romance novels. The acting is even worst. Bo Derek is unbelievable as a young virginal girl. This may work as softcore porn but I think John Derek is actually serious.
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10/10
Below average movie, above average love scenes
filmboy-11 February 2001
I first saw this film on late night cable tv back in the late 80's. And what I saw was a movie in which its images will stay with me for a long time. Although the actual film is nothing special, the tasteful nude sex scenes are some of the most beautiful ever filmed. Sure, John Derek didn't make a great picture and Bo's acting leaves much to be desired. But her astounding beauty and her love scenes with Andrea Occhipinti are great.
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6/10
S10 Reviews: Bolero (1982)
suspiria1013 August 2005
Lida (the sexy Bo Derek) is fresh out of the all-girls English boarding school. Lida's last act of rebellion was to streak across the school courtyard butt-naked. I think this is gonna be good. Finally earning her inheritance upon graduation, Lida decides than she needs to do a little globe-trotting to find the right man to make her a woman. With her chauffeur and best friend in tow she sets out to lose her virginity and the ways of love. She's out and about and looking for love. MEEE-OWWWW! The lovely Derek parades her assets for all to see (her husband, John Derek was the director) and very little will be left to you imagination. This erotic drama is wonderfully filmed, whether the English countryside, Spain or Bo's cleavage it all looks good. For what it was the performances were as good as one could expect out of the material which includes the lovely Olivia d' Abo in her first role. If you like "The Blue Lagoon (1980)" or "Paradise (1982)" you probably like "Bolero".
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2/10
Bolero
BandSAboutMovies11 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Bolero is an important film in the history of Cannon Films.

Menahem Golan worked with John and Bo Derek to make the movie, which was to be distributed by MGM as part of their ongoing deal with his studio. But when Bo screened the film for MGM CEO Frank Yablans, the studio head hated the movie - and its erotic content that would get an X - so much that he invoked a breach of contract clause to terminate their distribution deal.

But you know, the millions they spent on this movie had to have made since in 1984, when Bo Derek ruled the world. Or the libido of men.

In her teens, Bo Derek quit school, became a beach bum and found her way into the arms and bed of three decades older John Derek, who was married to Linda Evans, who he'd left Ursula Andress for, who he'd left Pati Behrs for. Derek had a thing for young women, as well as using their beauty to further his career, if I can be perfectly frank. After all, the first movie he made with her, Fantasies, was filmed when she was still a minor and is about a young girl in love with her brother and trying to avoid the carnal interest of her grandfather. This may sound like something out of Jess Franco, except that Bo Derek ended up being one of the biggest mainstream celebrities in the world by 1984, thanks to 1979's 10, a movie in which a cornrowed Bo ran right into every man's fantasies (and she's married to Sam J. Jones in that movie). Of course, people tend to forget that once Dudley Moore's character ends up sleeping with her, he realizes that she's not the perfect being that he imagined.

Oh yeah - that sex scene is set to Ravel's "Bolero," which is the kind of thing John Derek had to think was sheer genius when he named this movie.

This lesson would be lost on everyone that threw money at Bo Derek related projects that came after that film (also, she gets her leg eaten in Orca, so I do have some affection for her). The Dereks made Tarzan, the Ape Man, which has future Ator and Sword of the Valiant actor Miles O'Keefe as the titular character, who barely features in his own movie. Instead, it's all about Jane (Derek), who is frequently nude, often threatened, occasionally body painted and a chimp sucking from Bo's teat. You can imagine how thrilled the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate was. Strangely enough, writer Gary Goddard claimed that he was writing a Marvel Comics adaption starring Bo, which would have been Dazzler, a character who has not yet entered the MCU.

Supposedly a remake of the 1934 Carole Lombard and George Raft film that would be written, directed, filmed, shot and edited by John and produced and starring Bo, this seemed like a can't miss movie for Cannon, as even though the Tarzan film was a bomb with critics, it did great box office.

Sometime in the 20s, Ayre "Mac" MacGillvary - a virginal 23-year-old American, although Bo seems twenty years older than being 28 years old - has just graduated from an exclusive British college, a feat that she celebrates by running naked across the campus and into the protective blanket of her family chauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy, a man always willing to depondably show up no matter how bad a movie is; he's the American Donald Pleasence).

Now, her goal is to find the perfect man to take her virginity, so she takes Cotton and her best friend Catalina (Ana Obregón, who is also in Cannon's Treasure of the Four Crowns) around the world to find ultimate pleasure, which should be sexy but ends up feeling like anything but. Perhaps it was because this movie had been so hyped up, but even when I was a just into puberty charged up bundle of sexual frustration hidden behind a fat kid body and frog-like glasses, even this nerd couldn't see the appeal of Bo writhing cross legged and screaming "Ectasty!"

This is not the first movie with a sex symbol of the 80s playing with the plot of Rudolph Valentino's The Sheik - see Brooke Shields in Sahara - that would cost Cannon money. But it's also one that has Bo fall for a bull fighter named Angel (Andrea Occhipinti from The New York Ripper) and then nursing her lover back to balling health after a bull busts his balls. Also, she takes a 14-year-old gypsy named Paloma (Olivia d'Abo) under her wing and yes, the movie sexualizes the girl and yes, d'Abo was 13 going on 14 when he made this.

Again, this is not a movie made by a Z grade sleaze director.

This was a major studio movie.

As dumb and unerotic as the honey licking scene is, the true joy of this movie is the insane press war that ensured between the Dereks and Cannon. There were battles before shooting even began, as obviousy Golan realized that he was making a movie with two absolute maniacs, people who fired Fabio Testi because they believed he had herpes and Cannon had to pay his full salary and cast him in another movie, The Ambassador. The Dereks also fired half the cast and crew, at which point Cannon stopped sending money, at which point the Dereks started funding the movie with their own American Express cards, then a leaked memo from Cannon claimed that Bolero was a "total embarssment."

Even today, when you read articles on the web or in past newspaper and magazine articles, there's a lot of confusion over who wanted what. Some claim Brooke went to MGM and begged for them to cut out the sex that Cannon demanded. Others say that Cannon knew they wouldn't be able to advertise the film with an X rating and begged Derek to compromise on his final cut and give them something they could sell.

But when MGM dropped Cannon, they made a thousand prints and got ready to make their own money. Of course, Derek then posed for Playboy, giving the public what they wanted to see before Cannon could put it on screens, all photos shot during the movie for publicity purposes that John ended up selling on his own to the magazine, so both sides went to court. Bo even accused Cannon of stealing publicity photos for the movie out of her out of her bag and using them in the film's press kit, which seems to be the reason for the photos in the first place.

That sai, the movie still made money. It was a big deal on cable and for years was one of the video rentals that had the "MUST BE 18 TO RENT" handwritten sticker at my local video store. I kind of love that this movie has the Don't Look Now urban legend that the final sex scene is real when obviously it looks faker than the hot tub sex in Showgirls. To paraphrase Senator Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle, "John Derek, I have watched 125 movies by Jess Franco. I have watched him film his wife Lina Romay with many woman and men. Jess Franco and Lina Romay seem like friends of mine. John Derek, you're no Jess Franco." In short, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy willing to cuck himself while the cameras roll on.

Bo also claimed that Golan and Globus were so disappointed with the film that they threatened to take away the Derek's family ranch, which sounds like something Cobra Commander - and not the Go-Go Boys - would do.

With MGM out of the picture, Cannon was free to make all the money from Missing In Action. As for the Dereks, they'd go on to make Ghosts Can't Do It. I think in this war, Golan and Globus were the winners.
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Horribly Funny
Mylene-211 May 2004
I remember watching this movie at the theater when it came out. I laughed my butt off and embarrassed my husband. I think he threatened to move on several occasions. But the lady that sat in front of me was laughing just as hard. Some other idiotic scene would happen, the lady would look back at me, and we would both start laughing. Don't watch the movie expecting something erotic and you may actually enjoy it. I mean, come on guys, would you really want to make love to a woman after she rode a horse bare-back while naked? But the real kicker was when she finally found "the one" and the neon sign started flashing the word exstacy and no I didn't misspell that! I've heard of bells going off, but neon signs? If you watch it for the "camp" factor, you may actually enjoy it.
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1/10
Nobody is horny enough to watch this
suawiyp23 March 2005
I saw this movie because I figured, hey, Bo Derek running around nude for 90 minutes or so... what could be wrong with that? Even if the plot sucked, still, Bo Derek nude.

I was wrong.

The problem is that the movie is so bad that you can't even lust after her. You just end up feeling sorry for her, wishing she would stop embarrassing herself. Oh please, Bo, put some clothes on and leave this movie so that I can at least fantasize about you again. But no, it goes on and on, and she just seems more and more pathetic and sad and unattractive as the movie goes on.
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2/10
Bo is me
paul_johnr21 September 2005
Hollywood hasn't been an exceptionally kind place for Bo Derek. As American film's girl of the moment in the late 1970s and early 80s, Derek won adoration from millions of men, but also was the target of jokes about cute blonds who can't act. When first stealing attention as Dudley Moore's love interest in '10,' Bo was a model with connections to Hollywood power brokers through her husband John; she had virtually no acting skills. Movie companies were ready to profit from her looks but in no hurry to suggest drama classes, so things were headed for eventual disaster.

'Bolero' was Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus's attempt to cash in on the Bo Derek legend, a film written and directed by John Derek with Bo serving as producer. The film made quite a stir upon its release, as MPAA judges threatened an 'X' rating, that kiss of death for mass-market distribution. Cannon Films used the second option, releasing 'Bolero' as an unrated picture. It's been said that many visited cinemas with the hope of endless nudity and sex, but instead walked out early and demanded refunds. This film is definitely bad, although I can't understand what people were expecting from a mainstream theatre.

'Bolero' is a weird film to see. Bo Derek is completely miscast in the lead role, there is no almost no plot, and there is no meaningful dialogue. But the technical aspects of the film are so proficient that it looks much better than it really is. The photographic knowledge of John Derek really shows through, as we are given an array of colorful settings (and Bo, of course) that are very pleasing to the eye.

Mr. Derek was no D.H. Lawrence, however, and his scribblings for 'Bolero' remind me of those ornate poems I wrote in high school: the ones that sounded nice but didn't really have a point. 'Bolero' is major league fluff that wanders through knuckle-headed 'action' scenes and never-ending conversation. You'd think any guy making a film for his wife would be kind enough to write a storyline.

Bo plays Ayre McGillvary, a virginal (!) heiress who graduates from her elite ladies' school in 1920s Britain; whether she is graduating from high school or college, it is never made clear. Infatuated with Rudolph Valentino, Ayre feels it's time to discover her sexuality and get swept off her feet by a handsome sheik. She drags her best friend Catalina (Ana Obregón) and chauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy) to Morocco, hooks up with an enrobed young man who turns out to be an Oxford student, and watches him fall asleep on the verge of making love.

The trio truck to Spain and Ayre meets a bullfighter, Angel (Andrea Occhipinti); they share a love of wine and horses. Ayre makes love for the first time at sunrise, then watches Angel get the family jewels mauled in a bullring, leaving him unable to perform sexually. Ayre vows to 'repair' him, taking bullfight lessons and rejuvenating his spirit.

Derek was 27 upon the film's release and is much too old for this part. You can almost feel a compassion for her as she is delivering the stupid lines, trying to make something of her role ('I believe today is the day I become an excessively rich little bitch!' 'I'm not a virgin anymore!' **slaps my forehead**). I actually think Derek is a somewhat better actress than widely felt, but the plot and character she is given are so ridiculous that not even Elizabeth Taylor or Gwyneth Paltrow would be able to put life into them. The supporting roles are equally as bad; George Kennedy won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in 1967 ('Cool Hand Luke') and it looks as if he's just trying to stay in the movie business.

Probably the biggest FAQ about this film is why John Derek put his wife in so many erotic situations with two other men. I wouldn't be too thrilled if it were my spouse…The DVD was recently released by MGM and comes in widescreen format only with three-language subtitles. Cannon Films' theatrical trailer is included as an extra.

* out of 4
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1/10
Bo, or B.O. Either way, it stinks.
Mister-613 July 1999
Bo Derek naked in a movie. Hmm... you might as well say: Bo Diddley playing a guitar. Everyday occurrences in an everyday existence. Like you people never read Playboy. Uh-huh. Right.

Bo was good in "10". She didn't have to speak that much. That 1981 "Tarzan, the Ape Man" thing kinda went down the tubes. Ladies, the first person you DON'T want directing your movies is your husband; they're too biased.

Just Ask Cleo Moore about Hugo Haas sometime.

"Bolero" is NOT the kind of movie you watch for plot, character development and cohesion. Not that you get any here, anyway, but just expect that going in. You watch this for the "good stuff". And I don't mean the nudity. In fact, the only one who doesn't drop trou here is George Kennedy (thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU GEORGE!). I mean, the "GOOD STUFF".

Wink, wink...nudge, nudge...sophomoric comments...locker room humor....

So, are there any here?

Nope.

None.

Not a one.

There nearly are, but the lighting comes and goes here at the most inopportune times and it just ruins the mood. Except for the scene where Bo practices belly dancing. What can I say; I'm a sucker for a belly dancer when they look like her.

Everything else is strictly amateur hour as far as acting, photography, production goes.

One star (yes, for the belly-dancing thing). And if you've seen a Playboy pictorial on Bo, you've seen "Bolero".
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1/10
I'd imagine that pouring vinegar on your eyes would be less painful that watching this.
Duzniak381 August 2005
What a load of trash this movie is. This movie (How this can be called a movie is beyond me) is random and rather weird, and the plot is incredibly paper-thin. Basically, Lida (Bo Derek) is in search of losing her virginity, so she travels to Spain in search of a man. Cue loads of arousing yet pointless sexual scenes, such as Bo riding on a horse naked and her covered in honey being licked clean. Yes, it is full of nudity, but it's just pointless. This is more likely to be considered pornography, than a film. It's films like these which ruin Hollywood, full of trashy porn with terrible scripts, awful acting and a silly film title as well. Why on Earth John Derek wanted his wife writhing around naked in this movie is beyond me. It just gets to the point of plain sickening and unintentionally funny.
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3/10
Pretty expensive looking for an internet sex tape... oh wait...
dave13-16 January 2012
The justification for making this movie, I'm convinced, was John Derek's need to show off just how hot the woman he came home to was, while cashing in on her international fame. In today's world, they simply would have put a sex tape on the internet. To be fair, Bo was pretty hot and more interesting on screen than say, Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton. Nonetheless, this movie fails spectacularly as cinema, but has something of a legacy as having pushed then-acceptable boundaries of celebrity exhibitionism. The initial theatrical release of the picture was held up while the MPAA rating board squabbled with the studio (MGM) over cuts. Eventually it was released in an 'unrated' version which looked pretty racy at the time, although it would be routine now on Cinemax late at night. The set decoration is quite sumptuous in a Playboy pictorial sort of way and that's where the money got spent. The script is an embarrassment, full of throwaway nonsense about 1920's libertinism, as the Valentino-obsessed main character goes looking (very slowly) for first a Sheikh and then a matador to fulfil her romantic needs. That's the whole story and pretty thin it is even for a sex film. Not the worst movie ever, but pretty bad overall and excruciating to sit through unless you're a Bo fan. I was.
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1/10
I'm ashamed to admit it but I saw it at a theatre!
preppy-35 February 2013
It was 1984 and I was in college. Also I'm gay (but I wasn't out then). A bunch of my friends decided to see this new X-rated (actually it was unrated--now it's R) Bo Derek flick. I had zero desire to see it but went along anyways. I was hoping there might be some hot male nudity (there wasn't). I can't even remember the plot! All I can remember was the audience reactions. It was all guys (of course) and everybody was quiet for the first 20 minutes--then people started snickering or fighting not to laugh out loud. What were they laughing at? The acting was terrible, the script was even worse, the purported hot sex scenes were pretty mild and, basically, Derek can't act! But above all it was pretty dull. Finally one guy burst out laughing at some particularly idiotic exchange and that was it! The audience lost it and we were all in hysterics during virtually the entire movie! We were yelling things back at the screen and literally tearing the movie to ribbons. The final sex scene (which was faked but the studio SAID it was real) got a little attention but not enough. Basically everybody walked out of the theatre still laughing or just saying (with a big grin) how TERRIBLE that film was! If u watch this for camp value with a bunch of friends u might like it. Otherwise forget it. Also the nudity and sex is pretty tame. It's VERY R rated.
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1/10
Dull, awful film with one supremely stupid moment.
Bobbynyc5 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
One of the dullest things I have ever seen - it has haunted me for years.

The story such as it is, has Bo looking for sexual ecstasy with she insists is spelled with an X - at the end of movie as she and the Bolero of the title are making whoopie - the room begins to fill up with steam - and then they are making love on a cloud, where behind them is (I am not making this up) a neon sign spelling out the word ecstasy flashing on and off. I remember thinking as the neon sign flashed "this is it, this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen." To this day none of the other horrible films I have seen have come up to that one transcendent moment of the uber dumb that was that scene.
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8/10
One of the best bad movies ever, go check it out and laugh throughout!
Chance_Boudreaux196 February 2018
You could say I am a connoisseur of bad movies, always searching for the ones so terribly made, ones that make me laugh throughout and this is one of them. Without a doubt I can say that this movie ranks in my top 10 bad movies among such greats as Samurai Cop, Miami Connection and Troll 2. The plot of this movie mainly centres around Bo Derek trying to lose her virginity, first in Morocco and then Spain where she pursues a matador who has an affinity for 14 year old gypsies. I don't want to spoil anymore to those that want to seek this movie out but what I just described is only some of the utter ridiculousness that this film offers. I am surprised this one isn't mentioned amongst the great terrible movies on any lists that I have seen, anybody who loves awful movies should do themselves a favour and watch this immediately.
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7/10
A misunderstood film...
Falconeer23 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I believe the problem this movie had upon release, was that it was seen by the wrong audience. Bolero is in fact, quite an enjoyable film, featuring some gorgeous scenery, lush score, and some over-the-top romantic fantasy. Of course the controversy over the explicit sex scenes and the movie being released with an unofficial X rating, attracted a somewhat inappropriate audience. The people that saw this in the cinema were most likely looking for sleaze, non-stop graphic sex featuring the gorgeous sex symbol Bo Derek. Of course they were displeased by what they saw. It had one of the highest records of people walking out of a theater and demanding their money back. Why? Because the film is nothing like what it was hyped up to be. There are very few sex scenes in this one, (or more appropriately: love scenes). Granted, the sex, when it finally is shown is indeed quite graphic and erotic, especially for the 80's. The story itself is pure escapism: Two girls, upon graduating from university in the 1920's, decide to travel across the world to lose their virginity! Bo's possible suitors are, first, a beautiful Arab sheik, reminiscent of Valentino, who was the ultimate sex fantasy of girls everywhere at the time this film takes place. Later a Spanish Matador becomes the object of Derek's affection. The story plays like a trashy erotic romance novel, and some people love this kind of fantasy. Unfortunately those people, who might have enjoyed the film, would not have been caught dead going to see a "dirty movie", which was how Bolero was advertised. What is "Bolero"? It is a actually a romantic comedy. The laughs elicited from the audience are intentional. The film constantly pokes fun at itself. For example, the scene in the Casbah, when "Ayre", the character portrayed by Derek, is standing by the piano and listening to the famous tune from "Casablanca", a movie considered by many to be one of the greatest movie masterpieces of all time. Being reminded of "Casablanca" while watching a film like "Bolero" is truly hilarious. And so many of the lines uttered by Bo Derek are just too over-the-top to be unintentional. The cool thing about "Bolero" is that it seems to know exactly what it is. The mere presence of veteran George Kennedy is a riot, as is the sarcastic style in which he delivers his lines. Everybody is having fun with this film, and I imagine that they all knew this was going to be the great American "tease" of the 80's. Not that "Bolero" doesn't deliver in the end. As mentioned, the erotic scenes are beautifully filmed, and set to sweeping romantic classical scores. In particular the scene where Ayre finally loses her virginity to her handsome matador. And the scene where the sheik licks the honey from Ayre's breasts and stomach; stunning. Bo Derek certainly is no actress, but she plays her character with a certain amount of comedy and wide-eyed innocence that makes her somehow likable. And there is romantic/sexual chemistry between her and Andrea Occhipinti. I recently purchased the DVD and the anamorphic picture looks great. It now has an 'R' rating, but nothing seems to be cut. Don't believe all the bad reviews. If you like trashy romantic novels and films that take place in beautiful locales, with beautiful people, check this out. When compared with the made for TV and video "erotic" movies of today, Bolero is a masterpiece!
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3/10
I never thought a movie with this much nudity could be so boring.
a-twetman7 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this as part of my own little project of seeing all of the films on the bottom 100 list here on IMDb.I decided to start at the back of the list with umber 100 which happened to be Bolero (what that title has to do with anything is beyond me). It's set in what i think is the 1940's as told by the 1980's which is just strange. It's the story of two young women searching for the perfect man to give their virginity to which means there is a lot of full on nudity and sex. The nudity is never really motivated, the sex is not sexy and the plot doesn't work, especially since the main character only visits two men. The scene transitions are so abrupt you never really know what's going on or why and the dialog is so slow it nearly drives you mad. All in all, Bolero is confusing, stupid and boring.
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