Death of a Ninja (1982) User Reviews

For Those With A Taste For Vomit

[boblipton · 6/10 · 21 October 2019]

The sorcerer Mikio Narita speaks a prophecy: whoso marries the Princess Noriko Watanabe will rule the world. This makes her very popular with the warlords. Narita and his five disciples hire out to Lord Jun Miho, with the plan to make a love potion to make her fall in love with the lord. Fortunately, she has an identical twin whom people don't know about, who has been raised by ninjas. She and fellow ninja Hiroyuki Sanada. A love potion can be made from her tears, so the disciples kidnap her, rape her, torture her and eventually swaps heads with the female disciple. Now the creature with the disciple's head and Narita's heart tells Sanada this, and dies. So he goes to protect the Princess.

Would it be wrong to write "Same old same old"? Magical ninjas, magical pots, gallant, acrobatic ninjas, evil warlords, a bit of death pornography, and evil wizards who spew deadly projectile vomit onto their victims: the amount of baggage that ninjas carry around sounds rather oppressive. Even so, this one chugs right along, thanks to some beautiful camerawork by Fujio Morita, actors who sound like they mean it, and some great set design by Norimichi Igawa and Kazuyoshi Sonoda. I could have done without the vomit, though.

Hilarious Ninja epic!

[Xomby · 6/10 · 31 July 1999]

This is the funniest ninja movie I've seen...and probably the worse I've seen since American Ninja 4. In some scenes lots of women are decapitated, and they stand there for about 30 seconds...blood spurting out of their heads like a fire hydrant! There's a really stupid old man with a staff who laughs really weird, and the evil warlord sounds like Grover from Sesame Street. My favorite part is the "ninja-like" attack methods the lampshade-headed warriors in this film use. As they fight, they spew egg yolk out of their mouths at people. And were supposed to believe thats what real ninjas do??? Overall this is the strangest ninja movie possibly ever made.

Nice afro!

[daustin · 5/10 · 26 March 2001]

This movie is totally ridiculous. Also, the hero has horrible teeth. Looks like they jammed a bunch of marshmallows in there. However, the crazy Devil Monks are pretty entertaining. Why they put an afro on the vomiting monk I'll never know, but I'm glad they did. This is a fairly entertaining movie if you like campy, goofy poorly dubbed ninja movies. The fight scenes are only mediocre, but they clearly spent a decent amount of money on this thing, so the sets and costumes are pretty good. Enjoy. Beware the completely retarded ending though.

A Toei classic

[-6 · 7 December 1998]

Okay, it's not really a classic. In fact, few people have probably even heard of this movie. And that's probably a good thing. This movie is odd. Really odd and bad. It has so many weird plot twists (two girls, one a virgin ninja, the other a concubine, are beheaded, and their heads are reattached but switched to different bodies) and visual effects (ninjas that vomit great streams of acid, the big fat naked concubine getting it on with the blind, scarred devil monk) that a mere plot summary cannot do the movie justice. That and I'm lazy. So, go rooting around in your local mom'n pop video store's bargain bin (I got my copy from a friend who bought it at Phar-Mor when they were having a big everything must go sale), look for Ninja Wars, watch it, and be amazed.

Yataro!

[moviebuff72-223-265524 · 7/10 · 9 August 2023]

It's better than a 5 that's for sure. Ninja Wars has strange characters. The sorcerer is the most interesting of them all. The magicians come in second and Yataro comes in third. It's a mix bag of everything here. There's violence and nudity in this movie. It has some really interesting scenes. You get a story about love, courage and faith. Pay no attention to the low reviews. I gave it a 7 because it's not as good as the legend of the 8 samurai but it is still entertaining. I like the sorcerer character the best. His laugh is bizarre and it makes for a really good villan. Watch it with friends. I recommend it.

This is where a "0" rating would be nice

[Jojosh the Pi · 1/10 · 2 November 1999]

I love watching horrible movies in general. From Shaq to Manos to ninja movies, I almost always cry from laughter.

Not this time.

This movie was not even close to funny bad, it was just painful. It was boring, except for the few fighting scenes, and the plot (whatever there was of it) made NO sense. The climax is utterly inexplicable, and I wouldn't mind if someone could explain exactly what it was all about.

The scenes showing ridiculous ninja powers (eg, flight and toxic barf) are hilarious, but far too few to save this movie. I'll never watch it again.

For a Ninja Boom-era movie with more, Ninja Wars should be what you're looking for.

[tarbosh22000 · 6/10 · 20 November 2014]

Set in the Japan of the past, Ninja Wars tells the tale of Jotaro (Sanada) and Kagaribi (Watanabe) - two lovers whose lives are violently interrupted by the evil Lord Danjo (Nakao). Because of what he's been told, he believes that if he marries Lady Ukyo (also Watanabe), he will be the ultimate ruler of Japan, if not the world. The problem is, he needs to make his own aphrodisiac in order to seduce her, so he kidnaps her sister, who happens to be Kagaribi. Her tears are a vital ingredient in the potion. Jotaro is not happy about this and goes on a quest to find her and rescue her, but he has to contend not just with Lord Danjo, but also his henchmen, known as the Five Devil Monks. Thankfully, Jotaro is a ninja, and he will need his skills to strike back at the power-mad Danjo and his axis of evil. Will he succeed? Ninja Wars opens with a freeze frame, which is a promising start to a fine film - normally we're satisfied with a movie that ends with one. But that detail aside, The Ninja Wars (or simply Ninja Wars as the big-box Prism VHS that we saw calls it - apparently the "the" was too cumbersome for them) is a very well-shot, traditional Japanese period piece. But it also is chock full of weird, wacky and off-kilter ideas. It has a lot of the ninja weaponry and costuming we've come to expect, and seeing as how it is actually Japanese (as opposed to the many knockoffs which aren't), it commands more respect from the viewer.

The movie fluctuates back and forth between a serious drama, complete with beautiful costumes, wonderful sets, and the aforementioned excellent cinematography, and a bizarre, fairy tale-like flight of fancy, which the flying ninjas, strange weapons, and items like the "Crescent Sword Technique", which is like an ancient light saber, only serve to reinforce. The dubbing on the VHS is highly ridiculous at times, especially the monks, who with their ridiculous gravelly voices sound like Cookie Monster. There are many spoken moments familiar to viewers who have seen dubbing jobs like this before: take note of the "HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" laughter by Lord Danjo and you'll know what we mean. Speaking of the Devil Monks, apparently (at least one of them) pioneered the afro haircut. They were evil henchmen, and fashion-forward.

Ninja Wars was a Toei production, known today mainly for having a barely-noticeable appearance by Sonny Chiba. We didn't even know he was in the movie before going into it, and frankly, it doesn't matter. We were mainly drawn in by the amazing box art, and during the golden age of the video store, when the Ninja Boom was in full swing, you had to do something to stand out from the many competitors. Prism definitely did. But the fact is, Ninja Wars is more than a simple ninja movie, and couldn't be farther away from the epics of Godfrey Ho. Granted, we like Godfrey Ho, but this really shows the range and diversity even within the Ninja Boom, that we could get things on opposite ends of the spectrum like this and one of Ho's movies. That's one of the reasons why ninja movies of the 80's are well worth exploring today. Like a lot of movies of any kind, however, Ninja Wars loses a bit of steam towards the end, but it's still well worth checking out.

For a Ninja Boom-era movie with more, Ninja Wars should be what you're looking for, and now that it's on DVD, it's easier to find than ever before.

Confusing Mess of a film

[tocotoco2001 · 2/10 · 13 April 2005]

There are some movies that try so hard to hit a certain target that they miss by a mile. This movie is one of them. It tries so hard to be a martial arts epic that it kills itself in the praxes.

The basic plot of the film is that anyone who would marry Princess Ukyo would rule the world. She is already married to Lord Hanzo (ok, so why isn't he ruling the world?) A rival, Lord Danjo, enlists the help of an evil wizard named Kashin to help him win the hand of Ukyo. So Kashin sends his aides to kidnap the Princess' twin sister Kagaribi, whose tears are required to make a "love potion." That really pisses off the fiancée of Kagaribi, Jotaro, who vows bloody revenge. The rest of the story is too hard to explain.

A movie needs more than a intricate plot to be an epic. Ninja Wars accomplishes nothing. It is too confusing to entertain, and too schizophrenic to have any meaning to it at all.

One of the coolest films I've seen in years!

[silbaughkj · 10/10 · 18 April 2006]

I picked this up out of a $5 bin at Wal-Mart. It came with 8 other movies all on DVD. In the last three days, I've watched this three times. In the beginning, I got a little confused as to what was going on with all the black magic being talked about, but I got submerged deep into it soon after. The defining part of this movie is definitely when a girl gets her head cut off and just stands there spraying blood for a minute or two while a bad guy just chills next to it. Sonny Chiba was also great in this. I still haven't found Jackie Chan, but I'm sue I'll find him from watching this over and over. I recommend anybody who sees this movie in a clearance bin or laying around to get it. It's sure to please martial art, action, and b-film hilarity lovers everywhere.

Repulsive, bizzare, and worst of all, boring.

[constructionbob · 1/10 · 3 June 2000]

I can't do enough to dissuade anyone from seeing this movie. Oh yes, it's bad. Evil bad. And I've seen plenty of bad movies. This one's even worse than Hootch County Boys-and that's bad. You want to know how bad?

Okay. The plot involves this guy who wants to seduce a high-up lady in society, so he needs this aphrodesiac-making kettle thingy, but he also for some reason switches the heads on these two other girls...see, it's all very confusing, and makes little to no sense whatsoever. Yes, like all ninja movies, it has the prerequisite cheezy fighting scenes, some of them quite hilarious (like the barfing coolie-hatted ninja and the guy who shoots blades out of his eyeballs) but they are not numerous enough to assuade the pure monotony of most of this picture.

Unlike Hootch County, you cannot even put this movie on if you want to go to sleep soundly, as it is too distrubing for this. Oh, just don't see it under any circumstances, and you'll be all right. No, it's not even funny bad! Okay, well I warned you...

beautiful and bonkers

[Bezenby · 9/10 · 30 January 2014]

(Please note I somehow own a subtitled, widescreen version of this so can't comment on the dubbing)

This is one crazy, and beautiful looking film. A warlord falls in love with a Shogun's daughter, and somehow is approached by a mysterious (and creepy) wizard called Kishon, whom Sonny Chiba finds hiding in a cupboard. Kishon offers to make the warlord (named Danjo) a love potion, so he can win over the girl and rule the land. Chiba warns the warlord that Kishon is evil and storms off, but the warlord's got the hots and agrees, finding himself now joined by five weird magician types. Now these are some weird looking guys. One is blind and shoots nails from his wrists, another can fly, and one can spew acid from his mouth.

Together, they manage to capture the girl's twin sister, who has just completed ninja training with her boyfriend Jitaro (she walks through a bamboo forest cutting the trees with her fingertips!). They are attacked by the magicians and Jitaro receives a faceful of acid for his trouble. Once back at the warlords house, the ninja girl cuts her own head off (again with her fingers), causing one of the magicians to cut the head off a concubine and indulge in a bit of head swapping (and one of the girls ends up with her head on the wrong way).

I'll go no further with the plot, but let's just say Jitaro is out for revenge, and to protect the other twin, which leads to all sorts of showdowns with the magicians (as they are referred to in the subtitle), which includes be-headings, eye gouging, flying through the air, and a lot of stolen identities. Oh, and at one point the blind guy shoots lasers from his eyes.

This is one bonkers film with plenty to enjoy. It seems to have had quite a big budget too, judging by the sets and the gorgeous cinematography, and I wouldn't be remiss in suggesting that Ninja Wars has art house leanings, as there's a lot of eye-popping imagery on view, and it all seems to be about how you can't simulate true love (that's what I got from it anyway). This is one of those Japanese films where, if someone is beheaded, their body sprays blood like a fountain. It's also one of those Japanese films where I felt I wasn't quite picking up on all the cultural references, and reality is kind of played about with (the last third comes across as a bit disjointed).

Still, this is no Godfrey Ho film. This is something else altogether. Recommended at least in the form I viewed it.

Probably the most boring ninja wars ever

[phanthinga · 5/10 · 29 April 2019]

This movie could be the closest thing we ever get to a live action movie of Ninja Scroll but sadly unlike the over the top title "Ninja Wars" that makes me hype to watch it the first place the actual movie actually is so long and tedious that it hurt the overall quality of the movie. I really love Hiroyuki Sanada when he played a ninja in Ninja in the Dragon's Den so when I find out he also the main character in this movie I thought he can live up this boring story but nope not only Sanada martial art skills got wasted but every time something cool happen it end in such absurd and uninteresting way that it sucks out all of my enjoyment that in the end I don't even feel mad about the cop-out ending anymore

Not much Chiba (and no Chan as far as I can see), but still cracking fun.

[BA_Harrison · 8/10 · 5 April 2012]

Wicked mystic Kashin (Mikio Narita) prophesises that the evil Lord Danjo will become ruler if he marries beautiful Lady Ukyo (stunning Noriko Watanabe); with the help of five powerful wizards, Danjo cooks up a love potion that will guarantee his future as Shogun, but makes an enemy of noble ninja Jotaro (Hiroyuki Sanada) in the process.

My copy of The Ninja Wars came as part of a cheap four film Sonny Chiba box set, but Japanese action legend Chiba barely shows his face in this one; not to worry, mind, because the film is still a great way to pass the time, just so long as a sane narrative isn't your primary concern (and I'm guessing it's not, seeing as the film has the word 'ninja' in the title).

The typically bonkers plot throws everything at the audience from supernatural head swapping to an acid-barfing devil wizard to a love potion made from the tears of a virgin; there's also a fair bit of outrageous gore and female nudity (even chubby chasers are catered for), all of which makes the film good for a laugh. However, The Ninja Wars distinguishes itself from many similarly crazy ninja efforts by also being a beautifully crafted piece of cinema.

Director Kôsei Saitôhe doesn't let the fact that his film is madder than a box of frogs prevent him from going all out with the visuals, every frame a work of art: the camera placement, set design, lighting and cinematography are stunning to behold from start to finish, a sword fight that takes place in and around a burning temple being the aesthetic highlight. Even the visual effects are superb.

Towards the end of the film, the plot gradually falls apart, with too much confusion regarding people's identities (a problem that often arises from head swapping), plus a truly deranged finale that supposedly sees love conquering all—by having the two protagonists roast to a crisp on a sacrificial cross while they passionately embrace (I don't know about you, but barbecued lovers isn't my idea of a happy outcome). Muddled ending aside, though, this is pretty damn good.

Kick ass

[hakker · 8/10 · 8 June 1999]

Ok, this movie rules. The dubbing is great and the story is hilarious. The gratuitous use of blood and decapitated bodies is so funny the gore is lost. Besides, what's better than a good vs. evil story involving a spider tea kettle filled with a magic aphrodesiac, and insane emperor and an evil ninja spirit with one of the best laughs I've ever heard. If you can someway find this movie, check it out.

The Epic of All Time!!

[doctor_zaius · 10/10 · 15 August 2000]

This film is a classic in every sense of the word. Complex plot, scintillating dialogue, fantastically choreographed fight scenes, great special effects. What else can I say. I first saw this film in 1985 and have probably watched it over 100 times since then. I never get tired of it. Everybody I have shared this film with has enjoyed it thoroughly. If you do not like this film, you have no appreciation for foreign culture and are probably from Texas, or should move there.

Unlike anything you will ever see...

[hitokawaguma · 10/10 · 3 September 2002]

...But it's not for everyone. The first time I saw it, in my early teens, I don't think I finished watching it. Of course I liked the nudity (ranging from fat to ultra-thin women), but it sure wasn't my idea of a ninja movie. Years later I watched it again, and eventually it became my favorite film. If you're like me and you think ninjas are inherently funny, cool, or both, then at least give this one a shot. But I think you have to have some sort of rare gene to really appreciate it anywhere near as much as I do. You can read other reviews on this site to get an idea of how bizarre it is. In my opinion, it is an incredibly well made film. The photography, color and compositions weren't something I noticed when I was younger, but now... And the set designs and costumes are equally impressive. And the music! That's especially subjective, but I love it. Even the things in this movie that I can see being easy targets to negative criticism are equally lovable, if only for humor value. If you have no interest in anything Japanese, I suppose I would advise you not to bother tracking it down, or if you are turned off by movies that are not easily digestible, but otherwise find it amazed! Or baffled. Or angry with me. ***By the way, I've seen this movie more times than any other, but I have yet to find Jackie Chan's cameo! Does anyone have any idea where he appears?***

A laugh riot.

[nobody-1 · 10/10 · 17 February 2005]

I couldn't decide whether to give this movie a 1 or a 10.

Back in high school, some friends of mine and I used to watch this almost every week. A couple years ago, one of them e-mailed me out of the blue with a link to a website discussing it, complete with audio clips. I ran to ebay and ordered a used VHS right away. Now my wife is hooked on it, and we've started showing it to our friends.

I can't post spoilers, because as many times as I've seen it, I still never know what to expect next. I think some of the scenes might be out of order.

If you were amused by the flying and running up vertical surfaces in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, wait until you see this. And the baffling endings of Strangelove and 2001 scarcely hold a candle to the sudden tacked-on weirdness here.

I know this film as "Ninja Wars", but maybe it's available under some of it's other titles. The Ninja Wars VHS version features crazy dubbing with poor translations and silly voices. Wouldn't be the same without it.

A classic tale of good vs. evil.

[discostu004 · 10/10 · 18 January 2000]

This movie had it all. Big fat sluts with floppy jugs who seduce blind ninjas. It had a big fire and some guy with a lampshade on his head who shot acid from a garden hose poorly placed behind his head. It had ninjas being killed in trees and falling, only to reveal the big string holding them up. All in all, this movie should appeal to the crowd hoping to score with their japanese girlfriend.

wonderfully fanciful!

[netsakh · 10/10 · 25 March 2007]

OK, i hear many of you comparing this movie to many bad movies, but try to remember, this is not a movie made for the dense or the immature (and if any of you take offense to that comment i apologize) to me this was a wonderfully made(if not technically bad)movie, and i say this because i loved the beauty of it, the scenes when we first see jotaro and kagaribi are done with vision and heart, this may not appeal to some, but it did to me, after a few times watching this film, the plot did not confuse me one bit, well, that's because i pick up very fast, but overall, the cheesiness is overshadowed by the sheer beauty and depth of the scenes, when ukyo and jotaro emerge from the smoking building the smoke twists and forms to make beautiful images, then the smoke clears a bit and you see jotaro stepping out, this to me was amazing, some of this movie was badly done, but the imagery is what impressed me so much, actually, the camera work was amazing, the shots were done with precision in order to convey the emotion necessary for the scene, the sounds were amazing, the dubbing was bad though, of course, i don't like dubbed that much, the movements of the characters was more of a dance than acting, i would recommend this movie to those who wish to see vision, artistic ability is overlooked much today, and very rarely do you find so much visual beauty in a movie, this movie is full of subtlety in more than the acting, well, i hope this review made some of you curious enough to check this movie out, beauty is so hard to find, and when its found it should be kept alive!

Madcap Japanese tale of black magic and action

[Leofwine_draca · 8/10 · 4 September 2016]

When you think of Japanese cinema, there are three things that immediately spring to mind. The first is the big, green rubber suited Godzilla. The second is Akira Kurosawa. And the third? Why, the ninja film of course! However, despite its misleading title, NINJA WARS has very little to do with actual ninjas. One gets killed in a tree at the beginning, but that's about it. Instead what we have is a very weird little movie, full of cheesy special effects, bad taste, and a kind of see-saw effect where numerous uninteresting scenes of exposition are counterbalanced by some of the wildest moments of cinema you'll see in a while. Wanna see the inspiration for that death scene in KILL BILL where the guy's neck sprays blood for five minutes? Check out NINJA WARS, where the exact same thing happens to a female servant. Except in THIS film, somebody else's head is magically re-attached to her body without her undergoing any particular ill effect!

The story is light and unrealistic as they come. Hiroyuki Sanada is the clean-cut dashing hero, whose lover dies as a result of black magic. He then swears revenge on a bunch of demon monks, weird guys with big hats who can fly, spray acid vomit from their mouths, and shoot needles from their hands in many wild and wacky moments. Truly, the sight of one of them spraying orange vomit at our hero and knocking him out of a tree is tremendous, as is the vengeance when Sanada bumps them off one by one in various gory ways – I love the blind monk who returns as a zombie, and the huge guy he fights in the canyon! I'd also swear that one of them is played by the silent bodyguard guy from THE LAST SAMURAI! The film has plenty of action and also tons of nudity, making it a real exploitation classic. The only let down is the ending, which is exceptionally weird and unsatisfying.

Sonny Chiba's name appears prominently on the box, but alas, he is rarely to be seen in this movie, except at beginning and end. Instead Sanada is the handsome, young and heroic lead (at 21 years) adding yet another string to his bow of classic if cheesy Japanese action films. Noriko Watanabe manages to be very fragile as the ill-fated princess and, although Jackie Chan is rumoured to appear in a cameo appearance, he's nowhere here (why would he go to Japan to make a cameo appearance with his schedule at that time anyway??). To sum it up, this is typically intense Japanese cinema with some very powerful moments, and some very cheesy ones.

This movie is an obscure treasure!

[Loveunderlaw · 10/10 · 15 July 2018]

If you haven't seen this movie, you don't know what you're missing. It's very over the top IMO, it even puts Riki-Oh to shame. Made in a time before the P.C. movement became all powerful, too much would be banned now sadly. If you get a chance to own the DVD, purchase a copy, you won't regret it.

Cinematic litmus paper

[rossmcdee1 · 9/10 · 24 June 2019]

A great film, totally entertaining & bizarre. Those who hate this film must be on medication, have no sense of fun or appreciation for creativity & excitement.. or expecting something more predictable.

To me reading the reviews here was really useful, because I can now discount anyones views who gave this film less than 7 out of 10; they obviously have never sat in a room full of mates & had a top session... this is one of those films guaranteed to provide a great night of fantastic action & ambiance. If you're a dull & boring sort, then this film will no-doubt reflect that dilemma.

A fable of sorts

[mmillhouse-1 · 8/10 · 18 July 2014]

I'd seen this film years ago, as a VHS rental, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I found it again, on Amazon Prime, and watched it yesterday. I enjoyed it as much as ever, despite the poor quality of some of the streamed images. It's a fantasy, and I think quite a good one, with an excellent cast and impressive production. I don't think the acting is over the top for a Japanese samurai epic, particularly one that includes mystical forces and entities. A particularly pleasant surprise for me, was to find out that Jotaro is played by a young Hiroyuki Sanada, one of most memorable characters in "The Last Samurai", and an fine journeyman actor.

A couple of minor observations concerning an earlier review: The "acid" mentioned, was rather an epoxy-like spray, which hardened over the face of a victim, causing suffocation. The blind monk's "lasers" are actually needles.

Just those two mentions alone would get me to watch a movie. I guess this one captured me in the much same way as "The Bride with White Hair".

A fantasy about Sandayu Momochi

[chico-26 · 10/10 · 6 August 1999]

Sandayu Momochi was considered so smart that he did not die.Some say that he did not exist, but there is a photograph of his tomb possible empty. This film gives you an amazing impression on who he was and how smart he was.Very good

"What's that?!"

[Gangsteroctopus · 5 April 2001]

Watch this movie and every time someone says "what's that?!", drink a shot of [insert your favorite hard liquor here]. You will be REALLY drunk before the movie ends. You will NEED to be really drunk to make it to the end.

The dialogue scenes in this film are so leadenly directed that it will have you screaming at the TV, "Will somebody PLEASE take less than five whole seconds to respond to someone else's line of dialogue?!" This is clearly not just a matter of bad dubbing (which, granted, in this film it is utterly atrocious), but because the director seems to think that he's Ozu or Kurosawa, forgetting that he's making a ninja movie with Sonny Chiba and Henry Sanada.

Not to sneer at Chiba or Sanada. (I adore the 'Streetfighter' series and have watched nearly all of Sonny's other films.) Nor, for that matter, ninja movies. This is a BADLY MADE ninja movie - and there's the distinction.

Oh, sure, at times the utter goofiness of some of the situation is good for more than a few laughs (acid-spewing 'devil monk'; head-switching virgin/courtesan twin sisters; spider tea kettle), but the plot is awfully convoluted (again, I'd be more than willing to allow that the godawful dubbing has likely obscured any subtleties or nuance) and bewteen the action scenes, when every other line of dialogue seems to be someone responding in amazement "what's that?!" (are you people deaf or something? clean the wax outta your ears!), you keep praying that very soon someone will again be decapitated.

And what's up with that ending? The lovers are whisked off...well, I don't want to spoil it for anyone brave enough to watch this thing, but trust me when I say that at the end of this one you'll either be scratching your head in utter befuddlement or jumping up and down, insanely babbling, "What's that?! What's that?! What's that..?!". Or you'll be passed out from too many shots of [insert favorite hard liquor].