O.C. and Stiggs (1985)

Neill Barry: Stiggs

Quotes 

• Mark Stiggs : [specifying the Gila Monster car to Ms Bunny]  OK, Ms. Bunny! Number 1, we want zero miles to the gallon.

  Oliver Cromwell 'O.C.' Ogilvie : Right. No MPGs. It has to be a vulgarlay inefficient mode of trasnportation.

  Mark Stiggs : Loud, real loud. It has to generate a terrifyingly seismic field of noise. If we could combine really loud noise with the ugliness of poverty, we'd have the ideal car.

  Mark Stiggs : ...making people think that you're poor, so they know you've got nothing to loose if they crash into your car....

  Mark Stiggs : Here's a list of places I want this car to be totally unwelcome. Number one: funerals. Number two: affairs of state, you know, real formal ones...ones with...chamber music. Number three: wet golf greens. Number four: the acropolis.

  Oliver Cromwell 'O.C.' Ogilvie : Ah, yes. Driving this car right in the acropolis should be completely horrifying to every civilized guy on earth.

• Mark Stiggs : [speaking to Sponson about what wedding gift to buy for Lenore Schwab]  She's real frail and introverted, she likes to dance to ballet and play her harp. We thought she'd be happier with a... machine gun.

• Oliver Cromwell 'O.C.' Ogilvie : I dunno about this, Stiggs. That goon has a gun!

  Mark Stiggs : It's OK! He's crazy!

• Oliver Cromwell 'O.C.' Ogilvie : [talking about the car dealer, Ms. Bunny]  It was the last case that gramps had before he retired... she got off with a hung jury.

  Mark Stiggs : They hung the whole jury?

• Mr. Granger : Oliver, is it? Oliver Cromwell Ogilvy.

  Oliver Cromwell 'O.C.' Ogilvie : Uh, just O.C.'s fine.

  Stiggs : It stands for "Out of Control".

• Sponson : Here, blow the place.

  [hands him a grenade] 

  Stiggs : This is re... This is real!

  Sponson : Yeah, everything gets to be sooner or later.

• Stiggs : Hey, you know, you guys better have badges.

  Bandito : Badges? Badges? We don't have no stinkin' badges. We got souvenirs. You wanna buy some goodies? Machetes? Come again, amigo. Top discount.

• Pat Coletti : This is the life, isn't it? I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight.

  [scoffs] 

  Pat Coletti : I know where 624 of them will be on Monday morning. Workin' for me. In my sweatshop.

  [toasting] 

  Pat Coletti : To Mexico.

  Stiggs : So, what do you, like, do?

  Pat Coletti : Basically, I drink. And I make a lot of money.

  Stiggs : I mean, what kind of work do you do, that you *can* do, really wasted?

  Pat Coletti : Hog couture, boys.

  Stiggs : Hog couture? How's that?

  Pat Coletti : I manufacture clothes for fat women.