- Principal: I found out that you've been kicked out of two schools, that you've faked famous paintings, and that you've changed your name and appearance four times. AND you claim to be Rembrandt's great-great-great-great grandson.
- Sergio: I am a great teacher. I am a great artist. I am a great-great-great-GREAT GRANDSON! Paris, Milano, Veroncia!
- Michael: [voiceover] That's my sister, Susan Allison Baskin, the wretch. See the blue robe she's wearing? Looks too big, eh? Well it's Mom's, and she's gone away. She's wearing it because she knows it really, *really* bugs me.
- Suzie: [addressing Michael] I told you, she said I could.
- Michael: But why? It's too big for you anyway.
- Suzie: [sighs] I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it. Now give me your plate.